Life's TRUE Journey

Ugh. I hate everyone today for some reason. I'm hungry, I'm grumpy, I'm sleepy. and I',m friggen horny and no one gives a s#(@. I started jagging today. I thought I would be out of breath and unable to do it since it's been like a year since I could really do any physical exercise but I ran the whole 3 miles without stopping. So, I'm feeling good about that. Recovery is a bitch, and that's why we get along so well. lol. It was still freezing though! Anyways, I'm really wanting to get back into theater soon. I was realizing yesterday how much I miss it. I'm trying to get back to the things I truely enjoy and love and stop worrying about relationships and all that mess. That stuff will come when it comes. I think I started to forget myself. Wow, I'm just realizing that later is new years! These could be my resoulutions. Continued work outs, theater, loose my gaginity, start school again (Ugh) . Man, I have a lot of big goals for

14 days until the day that the earth was finally at peace; My Birthday. Yahooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Hiya folks. This is Tommy DiMera and I am just noticing how attracted I am to myself. lol. Anyways, yesterday, I went to visit my ex step grandmother in law at the hospital. I've been very upset since then. She's not doing well anymore. She thinks everyone is trying to kill her. She's become dilirious and all. She was never like that. I lashed out at my mother for making me see her like this. It's like, now my last meomory of my grandmother is of her being sick and ill and I didn't want to remember her that way. In fact, I'm going to try my hardest to just forget about yesterday, and remember her two weeks ago when her and I went to a church like function together where she was beautiful and full of life. I don't know. I'm just sick of doing this. Having to deal with people dying because everyone makes such a big deal about it. When I c

Hello and happy holidays. I love you all. Well, all except you Amy. Anyways, here's news from our partners at WTOM in Indianapolis. Mr. DiMera is now a citrus blonde. Yahoo. When reached for comment, Tommy gave the following statement. "... I just love it. I just love changing my hair at least 5 times a year. It looks cool and my best friend Michael had nothing but good things to say about it. Cheryl, on the other hand, laughed at me when she seen I wasn't strawberry blonde anymore" We'll keep you up to date on that story as more information becomes availible. Okay, let me stop that news report crap. Anyways, people keep telling me that I'm trying to be Vitimin C, the singer, and I tell them, no. Let me get off the hair subject for a while. My grandmother (Well, really my ex-step grandmother-in-law) was put in the hospital wendsday and I just found out today. It totally sucks. No one tells me what happened and what seems to be the probl

OMG, people, do youknow how annoying my family can be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 My brother Chris, and Will and my cousins from Wisconsin are down for a visit. It's nice to see my brothers and all, but OMG, the rest need to pack there crap and ship out!!!!!! Geez. They are the most stuck up judgemental persons I have ever meet in my entire life. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Anyways! I have found out that I am very attracted to Asian people. I'm going thru MPMS right now, so my thoughts aren't flowing easily right now. Rosie made me cry yesterday, but I don't feel lik getting into that right now. I'm going thru another bout of depression and it totally sucks. An old friend of mine, Bryan, is stopping in town from Up state Indiana and he wants to do Brunch so I'll be doing that tomorrow. We most likely will go see not another teen movie as well as do brunch. Then, after that, I'll be going home to deal with my annoying cousins. Chrs, Will, "L"

Okay, I was in the inner city, down town to be exact, for a few functions today, and this homeless guy walks up to me and saids he needs some money to support his family and all this BS. And being that I dress nice and all, he thought I would just give up all my money to him. So, I politely said, "I have no money" , which I didn't at the moment because I just use my credit card for like everything. I would have gave him something, because I'm like that. So, anyways, as soon as I said I have nothing to give him he looks and he said, "Yes, you people just don't know how lucky you got it" . I was so insulted by this. Yes, I did the wrong thing. I told him to go fuck himself. But, you people don't understand. I'm not some rich snob. We aren't even that rich for freak sakes. We've been less fortunate. We haven't always gotten what we wanted. I mean, I know how lucky I am. I thank God everyday for being this lucky. But does

Bye bye

I love You

I love You

(Entry Deleted 12-12-01) Anyways, my new best friend, Michael, came by my job today just to say hello and all that good stuff. I was like, awwwwwwwwwww. Andrew J. would never do that. But I do miss Andrew a lot. But he needs time to figure out things in his life and I just can't be there for him this time because it's killing me. God, I wish I could get into details, but I can't because I promised him I wouldn't talk about it to anyone else. I'm totally missing Rosie. She's been on punishment and can't get online. Sucks for her. And me as well. Well, I'll talk later have to dance! Buh bye!

Ima, SLavveeeeee for you! I can not hide it, I can not control it! Anyways, I love the Simpsons. They're totally cool. Anywas, lets see what has been going on with me. Well Cheryl and I are getting close again, eventhough we aren't together anymore and most likely will never be together again. Okay, so, Andrew J. and I have been fighting for about a month so we both decided not to be best friends anymore. Not getting into any details. So, I have a new best friend, Michael. Damnit, I gotta go. Type more later.

Just an afterthought. What happened to No Doubt, the group? Ummmm, Pop Music? Ummmmmmm, okay.

Hi bitch! lol. Anyways, to my boring life. First up at bat, Jodi Bowman. All I have to say is ugh! It's like, after days of being mean to me she is now accepting my appoligy. Well, not really, cause I haven't said sorry for anything because I feel I have no reason to be sorry. Well, I'm sorry that I pissed her off though. She's an okay girl. Now that Jodi and I are getting back ontrack, Rosie is pissed at me! Ughhhhhhhhh. She told me something that I wasn't supposed to share with anyone else. So, I blabbed it to my friend Andrew H. not thinking anything about it and later I thought about it. I feel so bad. I'm so stupid. I mean, I had to tell her that I told someone because I'm not the type of person to just keep something like that secret. I can't keep secret that I told a secret from a friend who gave me that secret in secret. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, popularity is not easy. Well, I went out on a date yesterday. Not getting into ANY

Hello darlings. Well, just as I expect, Jodi is now pissed at me. Oh well. I don't get why people think the world revolves around them. They should all know it revolves around me damnit. Ugh. She im'ed me all mad and stuff that I'm "talking shit" behind her back. I just didn't pay attention to what she was saying. I just kinda blew everything off and start saying stuff like "Ohh, I love you Jodi" I think she was just PMS'ing. I totally understand if she was. She thinks that just because we aren't connecting, that I don't like her or don't want to be her friend. Peeps, I'm so not like that. If I don't want to be your friend, I wouldn't even bother talking to you in the first place. And of course, by the time Jodi finished stopped going off on me, I felt totally bad because I feel I misrepresented myself to her if she thinks that I don't like her. Ugh, popularity is not easy! Well, anyways, my future h

You know what I hate!!!!!!!!!1 I hate when people pretend to like someone then they go talk about them behind their backs. It's totally stupid. It's like, I get called a bitch for telling people how I really feel about them good or bad. But yet someone who lies to a person and say stuff like, "Oh, I like you. You are nice" that person is seen as a nice person for not saying, um, the truth. Ughhhhhhhhh. Anyways, whatever. So, I have the intense need to shop right now, so I am going to gap.com after I finish this. Yeah yeah, Rosie' always pick at me about shopping at the gap. It's not like I'm shopping at Abercrombie & Finch.. God. Anyways, I have a new net friend name Jodi, and she's wants to jump my bones so bad. She's totally weird though. It's like she wants me to talk to her, but she wants me to only talk seriously and she doesn't want to hear about rosie. I don't know. I think she's psycho, but if I ever sa

Hello, my name is Tommy and I'm an achoolic. ANYWAYS, my grandmother and uncle were up here for a visit from Georgia, so I really didn't give a damn about this blogger. I totally love my grandmother. She's like the sweetest person ever. She is where I got the nice side of my personality. I love here more than any grandson loves his grandmother. I was so friggin happy she showed up unexpected. That made my life a lot better. I'm starting the college search now. I just want to get thru with it. I'm ready to get a good carrer and stop living off my mom. Though, it is nice. lol. I'm so wrong. I don't want to use a trust fund to live. I want to be totally independent. Do you people know how great ER is? The TV show. It's taking me forever because I can't stop watching. Just thought I would throw that in. Well, I'm a little bit tired, so I'm going to sit here and wait for Rosie to get online. Other News I almost came ou

Hey Girl and boyfriends. lol. I turned into a fem over night. Anyways, I noticed I didn't tell the reason why Cheryl and I broke up. I know everyone was soooooooooooooooooooooo anxious to know. Well, I'm not longer a virgin first off. Finally went farther than sucky sucky, licky licky. I didn't really know if I should put that in this blog because I really have some friends out there that would be very upset with the news, but I think I told everyone I needed to, and the rest will find out if they read this. I lost it on October 24. It wasn't good at all. No offense to Cheryl. It's just not what I expected. And afterwards, I just got more irratateed with Cheryl and her ex boyfriend. So I broke it off with her. Then, we became friends again and I found out two big things from her. Number 1, befoure me, she had sex with about 10 other guys, and two, the reason why her ex boyfriend was always around was because they had a child togther, that she miscarr

Okay, so , um, hi everybody. Let's Talk Tom. Cheri and I have broken up. Yahoo. I almost lasted a month. Well, I'm not going to get into it right now, but it just didn't work out. Blah. This totally hot guy started working with me today. His name is Brandon and his eyes are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, OMFG. I haven't talked to him yet, but I do wish to get to know him. I went to go see Bones and I came out of the theater confusses and dumbfounded. I would reccommend you wait until the VIDEO goes on sale. for 5.99. OMG, I hope they don't make a DVD of that movie. Though I totally love Snoop Dog and his style. OMG, I would love to have that outfitt "Jimmy Bones" wears. I would be stylin in that. Hee hee hee. I also went to see Don't Say a Word. It was pretty cool. The ending leaves some questions as to what happens to the girl. I have my own theroy but "I'll never tell", lol,. It's a really good movie. I'

Okay, so Cheri's ex boyfriend, Darryl, really wants hurt back. There were like high school sweethearts ever since middle school. Anyways, he keeps calling her and keeps comming around when Cheri and I are together, so I kinda threatened his life yesterday. Well, obviously it's working because he has left her alone since than. I don't know if he's plotting his next attack or what. Speaking of Cheri, she just walked in so I have to hurry this up. Rosie and I stopped talking to each other about a week or two ago because I had asked her if I could call her or have her call me. You know, we've been net buds for a very long time. Almost a year now. And she was like, "I can't trust you" But I was extreamly hurt because she let Dan, her other net buddy, turned boyfriend call her and mail her things and all that good stuff. But, I finally decided that I should let it go. I can't force her to do that. So, I called Andrew H. another net b

Back to my pathetic life. Well there is some great news. After all this time, I finally have a girlfriend. Well, she has me. Her name is Cheryl Austin. I call her Cheri Silver. We clicked right away. She's not a lot like me. She's kind of an alternative person. She has the two green streaks in her hair. She loves banging stuff (not like that) . It's feeling good right now (not that). The relationship thingy. We started dating on the 3rd of this month. We are really getting to know each other. And no, we have not "done it" The only problem I am having right now is with her ex boyfriend. He's a total dick. More about him later. Other News: Rosie and I aren't talking ever agai. My health is very much improving. I'm sleepy.

Okay, lets get caught up on my life. First, I must make a retraction. This is a very hard thing for me to do. My friend Scott, died, as previously stated, and for all these weeks, I didn't really know what happened. Well, kids, I had it thrown in my face today. SUICIDE Thiis upset me terribley. I really do not wish to pay tribute to someone who took a cowards way out. I mean, I loved him. He was my friend. But to pay tribute to him would be like telling myself that everything I stand for doesn't matter in the end, and I feel it does matter in the end what you lived for and what you died for. And if Scott, basically saying that he doesn't love himself, took his life, I think it just shows he was never the person that I knew. I really feel great anger twords him right now. Ugh, maybe this really isn't the time for this. I will trying to talk mosr about this later. Sorry.

Lives were taken in an instant. Our sense of security lost in seconds. This is just a small percentage of the words that are shouting in my head about the tragic events of September 11th, 2001. By now, we all know what happened. I am deeply saden by the events that took place. It makes this little diary thing seem so silly and not worth the effort. I felt that what I say here was absoulet. My ranting and raving about what I like and what I don't like seems almost pathetic compare to the emotions of lots and lots of people at these trying times. But then I started to remeber what all my friends taught me. That is the love of yourself. It's what has kept me going for so long. I feel this "blog" is a way to put a piece of myself out there for other to see. I feel that everything I do is a part of me, therefore everything I do is something worth while. So, eventhough I'm going to continue to do my blog and rant and rave about the small things i

I've had the Flu for about a week, so I haven't been able to really concentrate on writting in here. But I'm back. Todays worry is about getting old. I'll tell you what brought this on. A good internet friend of mine asked me to call him. Well, I didn't call but I did do this voice thingy with MSN messenger. So, I said hello to him and he started telling me that I sound like an old person. This, of course, hurt my feelings because everything hurts my feelings. Then, later that same day, Doug called me ugly. Well, we were playing around, I said to him, "God your a stupid booze drinking small dick loser" and then he in turn said, "You're a ugly 50 cent slut" and I took it to heart. God, I'm so stupid sometimes. I went and cried. I think I need some anti-depressants. I think I'm in depression but I don't know. I still have a totally high self esteem, and I like to get out and all that. It's that I'm way

My official statement on Scott's death: I feel so out of place talking about Scott because we weren't as good of friends as we could have been in the end. But, I truely do miss him. I've shed tears, and tried to understand why, but I think it's just not for me to understand right now. I knew Scott thru different hair colors and different hair styles. He laughed at my dumb jokes. Scott was a good person all around. Though he dressed different than the "popular people", I seen him for who he was. He was a really great guy. He will be missed by me and everyone that truely knew him. I'll pray for the family, and his fiancee. I'm sorry. We lost one of the good guys already. May peace be with him. Thomas.

Scott Leroy Eilert 19, Indianapolis, died Aug. 19. He was a graduate of Decatur Central High School. He was a clerk two years at the Marsh store on Kentucky Ave.. Previously, he was a clerk at the Kroger store at Mann. Rd. Memorial Services; 5 p.m. Aug 25 in the home of his father, Vance L. Eilert, with calling from 3 to 7. Other survivors; Sisters Leslie Kottlowski, Julie, Robin Eilert; Fiancee Christina Perkins. Alpha Funeral Service is handling arrangments.

Okay, a lot has happened. I found out the girl I used to be in love with, Brandie, is about to get married to the jerk I can't satnd, James K. And Guess what, I'm invited to the friggin wedding. Ughhhhhhhhhh. Brandie and I have know each other for about two years, and she's known him about a year. Yet she isn't "allowed" to talk to me for extended periods of time, nor is she allowed to go to lunch with me like we used to. It's like, man, wow, he's in control, eh? He's 26 and she's 19. Ew. So, the wedding is tommorow, Saturday the 25th, at 1 pm. So, then I found out a couple of days ago, a friend of mine died. His name was Scott. I put the ad that was in the newspaper in the blog. I was good friends with him in middle school, but we kinda lost touch in high school. It totally sucks. I cried and laughed, and cried. His funeral is at 5pm tomorrow, saturday 25. The same day I found out about scott, I locked my keys in my car

Okay, hey people. I hate you all. Anyways, I made a new friend, Amanda Y. That makes like 50 friends of mine named Amanda. Anyways, the first time I introduced her to Doug, the one I mentioned earlier, it was love at first sight. Or, lust. Anyways, they made plans for later that night. By plans, teens usually mean we will do it in your mom's car. Which is totally sick. But hey, the nexty day that's exactly what Amanda told me what happened. Then she goes on to say things like, "Little man, inch worm, 3 minutes and out" I was like, very amused by this. I learned so much about my two new friends. I haven't seen doug around. I hope it didn't kill him. I really don't approve of all this sex, but I love hearing about it. OMG, what the hell am I saying. Let me go.

Okay, I totally love Dr. Ruth. Anyways, my new friend Doug who is 17, dark hair and brown eyes. Slender build glasses and kinda pasty; Got upset with me for no reason. I was like, ugh. But he tried hard to make it up to me, but after trying he just decided to go home. I love him, but damn. I know exactly why this is happening though. His Grandmother dies a few days ago and apparently they were close. I didn't know here because like I said I'm just getting to know him. So, I'm going to type him a letter or something. He is very nice though. Anyways, new subject, What the hell is wrong with Sean William Scott (American Pie 1+2) . With that beard and mustache. Can we say, ewwwwwww?!?!??!! Alrighty, I have to catch some ZZZZZ's. Love you all. Bye.

I didn't really get enough information, but I think that George W. Bush said support the steam cell research stuff. If he did, he just got some big points with me. Okay, so I'm a total political whore. So what. This is important to me because politics are what decided things about all of our lives and we should be there knowing what's going on. Okay.

Oh, and about that Coke thing from a few months ago. I do take that back. I love Cherry Coke. Opps. Sorry Coke people. I know your stock dropped since I said that. I hope this boost it up a bit.

I'm thinking about this virginity thing even more. I narrowed it down to six of my friends. Well, let me take that back; Six friends and two online people who want to meet in a Fancy Hotel for a romantic week. I'm like, ugh, someone just take me. I asked all my friends if they would, and most of them said stuff like, "Yeah, if it's something you really really want to do. I would rather it be with me or another one of your friends instead of a stranger or a net perv." I love them all so much. I mean, only true friends would say that. Even some of my guy friends said that, and I'm like, wow. I just don't know.

I just wanted to jot down a few things I totally hate. : George W. Bush, Big Brother 1 and 2. Men. Women. Aaron Carter. N'SYNCs new album which I stupidly bought. Rain Forest Body Lotion. People who call when you are sleeping. People who call when you're in the bath. People who call just to say, "What's up Tommy? Nothing going on here". You homophobic pricks out there. Oh, and did I mention Aaron Carter. Eww. Wow, that was fun. Bye

Okay, about the Virginity thing. I am a virgin, for the most part. You know, I've done a lot of oral stuff and hand stuff and stuff stuff. Hee hee hee. But, you know, I never did you know what. I have many options to do so, but I was raised in a way that it's supposed to be special. But I think I should just do it already. I mean, this is life. And, like a previously stated, I'm horny as hell. And I want the chance to experience something new. Ugh

Hey, someone let me know something. Is loosing your virginity such a big deal?

So, it's been a few months. I know. Life has been a total bitch recently. I'm horny beyond beliefe (Yes, even we get horny), I've lost 10 pounds. I know, people might think that is a good thing, But my doctor says it's not. My mom has to have surgery because of a gull bladder situation whatever the hell that is. Dyed my hair to a lighter level of strawberry blonde. I like it. I went shopping, so that took about two weeks. I got some really neat things this time. More assessories than norms. Rosie and I aren't talking. Shawna and I aren't talking. I have one hundred guys hitting on me. I have ten thousand girls hitting on me. But, no one wants to talk before we get down and dirty. I had to go to the hospital for exhaustion. That was shopping week. I take fashion way too seriously. I've had to go to party after party after party. So many parties, to where you just want to go home so bad and get on the internet and go to sleep. Never tho

Blah blah blah. Boring day. Totally sucks. George W. Bush sucks. Ummmm, I'm going to bed. I have a Tennis match tomorrow.

Rosie and I made up today. Never thought we wouldn't. She wrote me a totally sweet email. I love her so much in a friendship kind of way. She is still VERY CHILDISH though. I'm so honest.

OMFG, you will never guess what happened. My friend, Shawnia, who is a high classed high style friend of mine just told me that she started going out with one of my enemies, Desmond that is a black ghetto drug using gang banger who I hate with a passion. So, I started to talk to her about it, and she just says "It's my choice" I mean, OMG, why. He's a total freak. Why why why!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? So, I'm not going to talk to her much anymore. If she wants that kind of life, fine.

Well, I'm going to go Fix me a salad. Buh bye.

I ordered a lot of cd's from a music club, and they have yet to arrive. It's been 6 friggin weeks. Where the hell are my CD. I sould have just got up off my ass and went to the mall and got the CDs, but I don't want to deal with the stupid public. Ughhh

I only had three hours of sleep last night. I went to go practive my serve for Tennis. Lost 10 more pounds. I still feel kind of bad about my life right now.

I think I gave way too many people this web address. Now that I think about it, I really don't want you all to know my thoughts and my life. But, oh well.Here is something I have thought about in the last 20 minutes. I was thinking how much better it would be if I were dead. No, I mean, somewhere between high school (My senior year just ended June 2nd) and now, I have lost myself. The future looks bad for me. I worked hard for popularity in high school. To tell you the truth, I was a major dork in Middle school, But high School I made a plan to change that and be very popular and respected and that's what I did. But it took a lot of effort and now that it's over, I feel so lost and depressed. YOu loose contact with 50% of your friends who made you who you are. You have to Be just another number in society without being known. Everyday I walked thru the halls in High school, people would say, "Yeah, that's Tommy D. We all know his story" NOw, The

I guess I should explaine what the arguement was about. Same old same old. I have a lot of friends that are girls. Their boyfriends think I'm too close to them. I mean, I'm not an ugly guy, but I'm not some movie star with a great bod and looks. So what has ALL these guys worried. I mean, this has happened with about 20 of my friends. It's totally stupid.

Oh, and I just smashed my toe in the car door like a total Dix. Life sucks. Popularity isn't easy.

I'm totally depressed. My real life friend, Mia, thru me out of her house because her boyfriend and I got into an arguement. Mia and I have been friends for over 5 years, and she got pregnant last year by some convict and now he thinks he's in control. Obviously he is. She goes, "I think you should leave Tom. " I was like, okay. So I got home and for no reason I started crying. I hate being on the outside looking in. That hurt me so much.

Rosie got made at me last night because I wasn't "Nice Perfect Tom" It's totally ridiculious, She wants me to be more like Dan, her future boyfriend/husband. I try to blame it on her just being 15,. Maybe she isn't mature enough to understand that a guy doesn't want to hear about another guy 24/7. And she must realize that friends stick by one another thru good moods and bad.

PEOPLE WHO DRINK COKE SHOULD BE SHOT AND DUMPED IN A RIVER

I was worried about my mom, so I played scramble with her. She beat me twice in a row. Total bummer. After my dad died, she gets this moods. She's better now. Thanks for worrying. . She gets in a bad mood because she has very low self esteem. I mean, it's totally oppisite of me. I love everything about me. I'm perfect to me. I wish there was a way to make her like herself. I wish there was a way to make everyone like themselves. Like my friend Rosie. She's an online best friend. She is always saying how depressed she gets sometimes when she feels fat or something. OMG, hello, who wants a stick. Not that way Rosie if you are reading this. And my other online friend, Cynthia. All the time, she goes, "Oh, I'm fat and ugly. YOu wouldn't want me" As If. Ladies, get a grip. You are all beautiful, including you mom. Ughhhhhhhh

My mom is acting Depressed again. I don't see why.Hell. She always takes stuff out on me. Like everything is my fault. I'll continue this later.

You people suck. I'm sorry I can't be some loser that speaks slang or some slut who gives it up for a nickle. I went to the mall while I was in Vermont with a few friends of mine, and people come up and start mocking us because we were in a Gap store. They go, "Hey, are you people like totally clueless ? " That was so stupid. I mean, so what if I would rather buy expensive clothes and would rather act better than. Maybe cause I feel as if I am better than. Then, it's naturally asumed that since I'm preppy and I'm a guy that I'm gay. Ughh,. Why can't people just get a life of their own and stop being so involved with me.