I was worried about my mom, so I played scramble with her. She beat me twice in a row. Total bummer. After my dad died, she gets this moods. She's better now. Thanks for worrying. . She gets in a bad mood because she has very low self esteem. I mean, it's totally oppisite of me. I love everything about me. I'm perfect to me. I wish there was a way to make her like herself. I wish there was a way to make everyone like themselves. Like my friend Rosie. She's an online best friend. She is always saying how depressed she gets sometimes when she feels fat or something. OMG, hello, who wants a stick. Not that way Rosie if you are reading this. And my other online friend, Cynthia. All the time, she goes, "Oh, I'm fat and ugly. YOu wouldn't want me" As If. Ladies, get a grip. You are all beautiful, including you mom. Ughhhhhhhh
Let's back track to my trip to North Carolina. After nearly loosing my entire self I set out to discover and do something different. I was so tired and so alone. While down in North Carolina I redownload one of those gay chat apps because I was bored . Needless to say horny as well, but that's just my entire being. Btw, when they tell you that your sex drive does down as you get older, they're a damn lie. I've never felt as sexually driven as I am now. Ever. Back ti the point, I was feeling all kind of things while trying to figure out what exactly I need to help myself. One experiment was to just stop beating up in myself and not put sexuality on such a high pedestal. I started with thinking that sex was special and reserved for when you meet that special someone and then you open up and then bam. Never been one of the casual sex scene. But my mind at the time was I am never going to find that someone so no use in being sexually frustrated waiting for somethin