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Tuesday, March 15, 2011  
Hello my friends, family, and fans.

This is gonna be a bit of a ranting blog. So, if you have the balls to read it, do so without getting angry.

For the last few months, I've been reading more blogs and comments than ever. I made a resolution to loose x number of pound by x day. Then another x by x day. So, silly me, for inspiration, I thought I would read some people who I consider(ed) friends who were okay in their fitness. Much to my surprise, many of them took the time that they could have used to encourage and push people to better themselves physically to belittle, berate, and chastise overweight people. Now, after reading months and months of this crap, I am prepared to make a statement....

First of all, to myself and all of my plus sized brothers, sisters, and sisthers. We were beautiful then, we are beautiful now, and we will be beautiful forever. I am not loosing weight so I can be like "them". Never will I have the classic definition of the "perfect" body no matter how much I work out. Never will I be posing in an Abercrombie and Finch catalogs. But let me tell you all something, being plus sized, we have experienced and seasoned our souls far more than someone that hasn't had to, at times, struggle with this issue. Society puts so much on being celebrity like. To have the "perfect" this, and the "hot" that. But look around Hollywood. It's a mess. You can have the "perfect" everything and have nothing worth anything else. Plus sized people are openly insulted. We are put down, made to feel bad about who God created us and nurtured us to be. The physical is not all we are made of. We are happier than those "Toned Tonys". This has been proven in study after study. We are much happier than "Minus Sized" people. How can that be? well, I tell you this, when we are loved, we are loved for who we are. When they are loved, sometimes it's just the love of their physical that they receive. The physical stuff changes in a heart beat, but being able to have personality never does. Doesn't matter if you're big or small. That's what's key. So there are many that jump in and out of bed/relationships with people who they find attractive only to realize that it's just that. But we plus sized people know that we are loved for the inside which makes the changing things like our appearances a mute issue. But besides that, we get the added bonus of those people who know that being big is not something that needs to be overlooked in order to love. Because, HEAR THIS, being big and having personality is BEATUFIUL! Plus size can be and is beautiful. So, as I carry on to my weight lose goals, please know that it's not saying that we are not beautiful. We are. But for me personally, my plus size isn't working for me for the things I wish to do. I want to play tennis more and to dance more. It's not about me trying to be accepted into the "clique" because I believe right now I’m part of the best "clique". To all my plus size brothers, sisters, and sisthers please know that you are beautiful. Stay beautiful. If it's healthy, stay the way you are. Plus size doesn't not mean unhealthy as so many try to convince others. Check your health physically and you health mentally!!!! That's key to seeing if you are where you should be. I love you all.

Now, to my "Perfect" body friends......... Let me stress that I am not lumping you all into this category just because you are skinny or toned. There are some great people out there that are skinny toned perfect bodied. This paragraph is for those idiots who have the mordacity to post comments such as " Fat people are ........" and " The reason that fat people ..........". Let me tell you a few things. First off, plus sized people are not all slobs. We are all not gluttons inactive pigs. And the fact that you sit around on facebook, twitter ect saying what we are doing wrong says more about you and your own insecurities than it does about us and our lifestyle. Let me tell you right here and now. Get me on the Tennis court. Bring it. I will out last, out wit, and out play your ass so bad that it will have you in tears! When you see me, you think "Fat, slow, out of shape" That's fine. Think what you want. But I want to see how much that thought proves to be true on the court. On my court. The fact is your "perfect body" performs just the same as my "Plus sized" body. There are weaknesses in both. But to think me unable to perform just because I have extra pounds will be your downfall. You want to say that you only want me to be "healthy" yet in fact I may be just as healthy as you. I'm very active physically. It's not really about you caring about my health. it's more about wanting people to look and feel as you do. I know when I'm physically able to do just as well as you and then have the ability to be so happy with who I am BOTH physically and mentally it bothers you for some reason. The fact that I'm able to kick your ass at some physical activities then enjoy a nice juicy burger if that's what I want to do later; That kills you for some reason. I'm happy. There are a few things that you are better than me in mainly due to our differences in physical. But does that make me unhappy? No. I continue to do what I do well, and there's always a chance I can get in the position to do better at those few things you exceed in and still be happy!

So, you can get twenty, forty, 100 guys. Wow. Bravo. But how long will you keep them. If you become me physically, will they stay around? You know the answer deep down. Maybe I will just get one guy. But he will be the one guy for longer than 20 of your guys will be yours. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who just could not understand how Alejandro and I were ever together and for so long. Alejandro will tell you to this day, it was who I am inside that made my outside irresistible. He was there for my fattest of times. But he knew love like no other and vice versa. He got it early what was important in this life. For all the guys that approached him trying to convince him that he could "do better" he seen what exactly was better for him. We not being together now has nothing to do with the physical but other things. But even though were not together, I was his longest relationship and he mine and what we shared prepared us better for what's to come in our lives. You can't get that with your two week physical lust fling. We are best friends now and we will be better lovers, friends, and companions to our future spouses.

Its amazing how I've been involved with someone who every person who knew this person said " Oh, you're not his type". But, surprise surprise, he and I were involved. He was all about the physical, but in me he seen something different. Someone who actually cared about him. I changed his outlook on things and my hopes are he gets his life together and remembers the things I was able to show in in the short time we had. Its simple, but I know it's easier to write a blog about it than to actually do. So, you "perfect" bodied chiseled head reading this probably think that you are ready to respond. That your answer is better to this situation. Listen, I've read for months as you belittled the people I love. Your fat comments applied to my beautiful mother who‘s plus sized thighs comforted my head as a child and sometimes as an adult when I just need to cry.. To my now departed Grandmother who’s plus size arms gave so much joy. So when you insult my family, you can kiss my plus sized buttox! If one thing you should learn, don’t mess with my beautiful family! I'm done with listening to anything you have to say. You've had your say, now it's your turn to listen and go away. I spread love, you spread hostility, hate, and otherwise ignorance. Just like a homophobe or a raciest. But keep this in mind what I say now.

What about the veteran that served and is wounded for your freedom to criticize and mock plus sized people? He would like to be physically active but maybe that bullet wound still hurts when he moves. What about the person who just simply not been taught how to eat better because education is in the form of some skinny prick yelling at them to eat better but never explaining how? What about the person that has been diagnose with some illness and eating "healthy" or being physical could actually kill them? What about the person who lost their job and can't afford the "healthier" items and have to settle for the junk put out there or just not eat at all? What about me, who got over a string of life threatening illnesses and against all odds is here and finally able to be physically active again.? Think, though the concept is hard to grasp, of someone other than yourself and how to turn them into what you think is better. Think of spreading love and REAL encouragement rather than spread (pardon my French my fellow Christians) SHIT. For too long we humans have shit upon each other under the cloak of "It's for their own good" or my personal favorite " Because I love and care about them" You don't shit on a person you love and care about. What you do to people you love and care about is YOU LOVE AND CARE ABOUT THEM!

So, my rant is done. Be healthily! Mentally and physically. Love everyone Intensely and unconditionally. Be awesome. Get awesome. Give awesome. Love you. all.

Tommy D.

3:35 PM

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