Life's TRUE Journey

Hey babies. Merry Christmas to you all. Okay, quickly, I have included in this post, a repost of last years thanks for the year 2002. I've been doing this for three straight years now, which is way cool. Let me update you on the current stuff though, as of December 2003. Okay, had a boyfriend. Yes, got one. Ha d him for three days, and he decided he wanted to take a break. I guess three days of me is enough. Well, that is until he got horny and asked me to , um, well, deliver to hi a blowing, which I did because I'm ignorant. Now, keep in mind, we're still "on break". Okay, the second time he gets a boner, and of course me being the dumb fuck I am, I deliver another blowing, but this time, he wants to finish by, um, having sex with me. Now, I'm not here to debate on what's serious and what's not and if oral sex is just the same as blah blah blah. It's just that personally, have sex with someone is a whole different thing, and I'm

Ooooo my, they have me so right. I do have "naughty" tapes of me and um, other persons I can not disclose. LOL. kay, this is a short blog jot. I just wanted to tell what happened tonight since none of my friends are around to vent with. Ok, first, in Plainfield at a little party with Shawna. She acts stupid and let her stupid boyfriend talk her into take some kind of drug. I don't know what. But, I've never been into that turn you psycho shit , so I left pissed off at her. I don't want to be around that. Ugh. Then, like a dumbass, I want to drown my sorrows, so I stop at a McDonald's. I ask for the McChicken value meal with Orange to drink, and two apple pies. Ok, so, she tells me the total, and I'm not picky about money, but understand I'm in a bad mood. Okay, " I'm sorry, that's not the right price is it" to which the young ( censored ) lets just say lady replies " Yes, it is. " then she shows me her

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Hey baby. No, I'm not Micheal Jackson. WTF is with all that anyways? It's a freak show. Being a victum of child molestation, I hope and pray that the accuser finds peace within himself and I hope things are resolved and that the victum in this case, weither it be Micheal or the accuser, come out of this victorious. I found myself automatically siding with the accuser when this story just broke until my Sister brought up some facts. I still think Micheal is a psycho weither or not he is a perverted psycho or a normal psycho. But, whatever. Anyways, on to better and lighter subjects, Ha ha ha to Mr. Georgie dubba Bushey. Why can't americans stand up more against this president like in England? It's like, we are letting this president fuck us in the ass and we're supposed to sit and take it with a smile. Give me a break. Ugh. I am so sick of Government now-a-days, but I know we have one of the greatest on earth. Ooooooo, Kerra forgave me eventhough

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Hi. Yeah, whatever. So, I was a total ass to Kerra to night and I want to kick my own ass. I'm so stupid. I don't knw if it's because of what happened last night, but I lashed out at one of the most sincere and loving persons I have in my pathtic life. Well, I better tell you what happened last night. Okay, my stupid dumbass plan was to finally admit to a friend of mine that I was ready to , you know, take the plunge. Get a cake to baking. RIght after COry and I had all our little (ha) break up, this friend asked me out and I refused because, damn, I just lost the love of my life. SO, yeah, I finally said that I am now willing, and I was so dumped and rejected. Then, I was left at the mall all by my lonesome at the stupid movies and with a big thing of pop corn and no one to share it with. So, I started to go home, but instead, like a fucking idiot, I stopped at a fag hangout and this older guy hit on me, and he was drunk and he starts grabbing at me and shi

It's been a month almost???!?!?!? Geez, time flies when you're having so much fun. Let me getright to the info. Okay, October 31st, Shawna throws this big halloween party. Her and I are the host and hostess. . We are both dressed like whores. Well, anyways, we play the party game 10 minutes where we have one fully costumed person and another person go into "The dark room of happiness and horrors" ( Shawna's brother's room with no lights whatsoever) for 10 minutes. Basically to make out, even though some people did more, and some did less. Okay, so, Shawna surprizes me and make me go in thee with a masked stranger. I'm a little buzzed, so I go ahead. What the hell, it's not like I was getting much more at that time. I go in, and we make out, yeah, fun. But no sex of anything. I get outside and later discover that Shawna set me up. She knew who the masked stranger was. My ex girlfriend Shannon from high school. Yes. For those who do

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Sorry. Gotta update Sunday or Monday. Majorly tired. Karra kept me up all night. Damn her. Hee hee.

Oh, BTW Todd, welcome to my new blog.

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Hello my loved ones. That week went by so quickly. Well, Friday at 1:36 pm my grandmother passed away. I know it seems like I have three thousand grandmothers. I actually have, had, a total four. My biological grandmothers are on my dad's side who died. She was the one with breast cancer and had a massectimen. Then, there is my very sweet grandmother that lives down in Georgia. She's my mom's mom. Super sweet. Then, my oldest brother and my sister who are from my mother's first marriage has a grandmother. She's the one that passed on Friday. I was more close to her than my grandmother on my biological father's side. She taught me everything about fashion and just as sweet as my grandmother in Georgia. Then, if you guys can remember way back, my boyfriend I had during High school, Joshua, his grandmother and I are super close as if I were her grandson. Even after Jsoh and I broke up, we still continued out relationship. SO, that's my family

Hello people. I made a previous post, but somehow it was not sent thru, so I'm writting another one. Well, I have to put this up front because all the other stuff is just general stuff. The other day, I had a bloody discharge from my penis. It has worried me so. It's not very possible that it is a sexually transmitted disease due to the fact that I have not had sexual intercourse in months, and whenever I did I have it, I protected myself carefully. So, I looked on a site and found out possible reasons. They list that it may just be a blood vessle that has burst in my region. But then it goes on to Testicular cancer and prostate cancer. Now, my mother has growths called pollups that she has to have removed ever so often, he father survived prostate cancer, my father died from colon cancer, and his mom, while she lived, had breast cancer and had to have a massectimen. So, of course, I am very worried about this now. I'm so scared to see a doctor though. Okay,

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Oh, by the way, 2003 sucks. I lost two boyfriend, my job, 13 friends, my virginity to a guy who seen me just as a challenge he conquered, and my will to live. Great fucking 2003

Blah bitches blah!!!! So, I drove by his house a coupl of times. You know, Cory! Ugh. Sucs. I want him n jail, yet I want to know what's going on with him. It's just that no one understood me like he did. Or maybe he just was good at making me feel as if he did. So, okay, the other day Rosie gets online and she totally attacked me. I was asking about the wedding of her and Dan and I was going to let her know what address to send it to, and she was like, "Um, I don't really now you" I was so brokenhearted. She's been like my bestest girl friend ( Notice that girl friend is not one word. ) for three years now and I've shared things with her I wouldn't and have never shared with anyone else! Hell the fuck o! It was a sucker punch. I totally hate when my "friends" start getting serious with a guy and it's like, to hell with the fag named Tommy. So, whatever. I think along with giving up with the ideal of being happy a

Sorry it took a while. The date sucked so bad, I wished he died on the way home. :). Oh well. I'm still happy. Well, yeah, happy. I'll be happier when I get back into school. At least there, I feel as if I am around people with at least some sense. I've had too much time to think about too many things and I feel that stupid depression might creep back up on me. But, amazingly, I've been dealing with it well. I haven't allowed myself to dip into that bag. You all would be so proud of me. Shawna and I are at odds a bit. It's stupid actually. Hopefully some of you can relate to my situation. Shawna is a total fag hag ( See, that's why she's my bestest friend, yet I'm always competing with other queers for he attention and that's just so not right. ) But that's nt the point. She brings these guys to my house or to my work place and she trys to set me up with these guys. I tell her not to do that because the guys that she b

Hello sweethearts! Hey, don't yell at me! I had surprize family up here from Georgia. This has to be a short one because I'm going to update later tonight too because I have to tell you guys about the date that I have tonight. Yay! Well, what's going on? Andrew is a raciest elitist pig! That's what's fucking new. I was speaking of a really cute guy who happens to be hispanic cutting our grass. He goes off saying how degrading it is that he's a lawn cutter. He acted as if he was ashamed of this, and I am like whoa. This guy is working hard, and I'm pretty sure making a god pay for a long days work, and Andrew finds this man to be shameful?!?!??!?!?! WTF. Maybe there is something I do not see since I am not hispanic, but from my point of view there's nothing degrading about having a job and making money! Psh to you Drewsey. You really pissed me off. Yeah yeah, so, anyways, peple, tell me why the hell am I dreaming of Cory for the last t

Three months later, I squeeze in time to update. I most likely lost a lot of fans and faithful readers. It sucks, but it means that my life actually been filled with things and I have more to type. There is so much to say, and there is no way I can do this cronilogically, so I will have todo it by name. So, here we go. Cory - Cory and I had been at odds about a lot of things. So, anyways, we started to talk and trust each other again. Yes, I'm dumb and I know it. After he beat his drug rap, I should have took a hike then. But I was so content on falling in love and changing him. That is until a month ago when he stole $1100 from me and ran. Yes, you heard me right. I was so dissappointed. More with myself than anything. I pressed charges and they're building a case now. I thought it would be a open and shut case, but it seems like it's taking forever. I haven't seen him since. I don't even know if he's still running or back home. It's

Oh Hi. Ok, so, my cat died. He was 70 in kitty years. It's kinda sad. Who am I kidding, it was a lot of sad. It's so weird after living with someone for 10 years of your life, the next day they are just gone. Of course, I can hear you dumbasses out there saying "Oh it's just a cat" but it's not. HE was my cat, and his name was Booger damnit. Ok, well, i've also been pissed off at another situation. Well, I have/had a friend, Kelly, who I've been friends with for a while now. Now, I knew before hand she had a problem with racism. Well, had a problem with the words. So, ok, i guess i learned to ignore the n word she sometimes uses because she, i thought, didn't mean it in an offensive way. But the other day, i guess i finally got pissed. I walk up behind kelly talking to her friend and her friend's little girl. Kelly said " ... this nigger was dancing up on me at the club..." Her friend started signaling her to be

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Yay. Another blog for another day. Well, I have some general angst about TV. First off, War, it's not something you put on TV. It's too much for me to bare. Second, why are all my favorite TV shows going off the air. My number one favorite, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is going off this year. Then my second favorite show, Fraiser, is going off next year. Geezus. I guess ER will have to be my Favorite after next year. Well, My buddy Bruce is leaving my life again. He's such a great striaght guy. He's so fustrating at time, but so cute. Cheryl, the first girl I ever had sex with (I bring that up all the time. Sorry) is being a bitch to me and we haven't talked in a while. Everything has to revolve around her. She never cares what's going on with me anymore. I'm beginning to feel know one gives a shit. I mean, maybe I'm too nice because I'm always the guy people come to to listen to them talk. But I've been doing it for so long

Did you miss me? Yeah yeah. Been busy and stuff. Well, let's get my life all out so you can print it out for tomorrow's headlines of your city news paper. I hate starting off with this subject, but Cory and I have been back on speak terms again. Yes, I know we made an agreement and all, it's just that he can't resist me.lol. Well, he and I hugged and kissed one night because we were both like totally depressed, but that's it. The day after we never brought it up. SO, I guess we're back on as friend. Damnit, why can't I just let it go. I really do not find him attactive at all, he's an ass, and he's dumb. Geezus. Well, anyways, enough about skinny boy. Bullitin, bullitin! This just in. I've gained 700 pounds! Yay. I'm kinda pissed off that I haven't been able to work out for so long, but I started back yesterday. God, it's getting harder to maintain my health and it sucks. I hate getting older. I'm freaking 19

Hello my ovely peeps. Okay, so lets get this over with. Cory and I got into a big fight, and I was so sick of it.. People just don't learn their lessons. Well, whatever. Point is, we worked it out. We agreed not to call each other anymore or hang out or anything. If we see each other on campus, we just say hi and continue on. Works for me. Bad influence and his social croud isn't mine. I'm a stuck up drug freesuburban freak. He's a rebel suburban drug doing freak. Oh well, so that's the end of that. I thought this was the one, but nope. I don't think I'll ever find someone that is right for me. I have such a tendor soul. Why can't people see that?I'm stuck up, but not in a bad way. I don't put others down. I just have this extreme case of self confidence. And, I love so many meaningful things like the enviroment, and the arts, and just things that really matter. A passionate...... wait, when did this turn into a personal a

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Yealp, it's flu season, and I got it. But I got up the energy to talk to you peeps. So, in the Tom news. Cory was sent to jail. He was busted for possession He had "X" on him and other things. Well, he has to learn his lesson. Right now he's out on bail and stuff and he has to go to court and stuff. I'm torn on weither I should even support him on this. Drugs are not something that I like to be associated with. Esspecially stuff like "X" . Ever since he's got out on bail, he's been very distant not only to me, but to everyone. Everyone except Cheryl. She thinks I haven't noticed her spending more time around him. But, whatever. I have no love for Cory. Friendship. That's all. And of course, with Cheryl being the one I lost my virginity with, it's hard not to care about her. Ooooooo, I'm such a fucking doormat. I used to be so visious and strong and now I'm just I dunno. It's so hard loosing pieces o

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Each day, each day I play the role of someone always in control, but at night, I come home and turn the key, there's no body there, no one cares for me. Ooooo, what's the sense of trying hard to find your dreams. Without someone to share them with, tell me what does it mean. I want to run to you.... But if I come to you? Tell me, will you stay or will you run away. Okay, hey people. . I know you all wanted to hear my beautiful voice. So, what's been happening with Tommy. Well, after the Cory explosion thing, he and I are "friends" now. I'm not attracted to him and I wish not to get involved with him again. It's just that we are friends and that's that. Andrew thinks that I'm banging him. Psh. Nope! It does suck being so single right now. But, it's not getting to me too much. I started back to school, so that's my main focus. My Freshman year is about to wrap up. Yay. It's so hard. Not mentally, but the time.

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Shut up people. I need not have you telling me that you are upset that I didn't post my thanks. I've just been overwhelmed with things in my life. I'll tell you about it all in my next blog, but right now, I'll do my thanks. Sorry, I swear this willn't happen again. My Mom Debra- You've been such a great help with college and all and I really love and appreciate you. My sister "L"- You totally pissed me off this year, but yet I always forgive you. I forgive you because I know you are not as smart as most people, but you have a warm heart and it always shine thru. My Brother Will- This year has been extremely tiring for us. I have exhausted all my reasonings for why I should continue to strive to love and accept you. The whole family has pretty much given up on you, and I was the only one standing up for you, but now, it's comming to an end. You have betrayed the last person that loved you. God bless you in the future beca