Hey babies. Merry Christmas to you all. Okay, quickly, I have included in this post, a repost of last years thanks for the year 2002. I've been doing this for three straight years now, which is way cool.
Let me update you on the current stuff though, as of December 2003. Okay, had a boyfriend. Yes, got one. Ha d him for three days, and he decided he wanted to take a break. I guess three days of me is enough. Well, that is until he got horny and asked me to , um, well, deliver to hi a blowing, which I did because I'm ignorant. Now, keep in mind, we're still "on break". Okay, the second time he gets a boner, and of course me being the dumb fuck I am, I deliver another blowing, but this time, he wants to finish by, um, having sex with me. Now, I'm not here to debate on what's serious and what's not and if oral sex is just the same as blah blah blah. It's just that personally, have sex with someone is a whole different thing, and I'm not going to give it up to a guy when 1. We've only been officially dating for little over a week. 2. We're on break, according to him. He made the choice, so let him live with it. And 3. A guy that I've known for awhile, and with that, I know he hasn't been commited to one person in his entire life. So, I say no to the sex, and he flips. And, first off, pushes me off of him and starts yelling how it's not a big deal and how I'm acting like he has a disease or something. So, yeah, I'm two things. I'm scared, thinking this guy is going to kill me in my own house and I'm also ready because self defense classes kick in and I'm planning my move to bring him down. Luckily, Shawna, my fucking angel to say the least, shows up at the door. That son of a bitch leaves, and I'm hugging her all over, and crying. Ugh. Guys are dumb.
So, later that night I find out that my raciest, homophobic, ultra bible pushing family from Georgia and Wisconsin are spending holidays with us. So, I have to also deal with them and it's so emotionally draining. They got here Friday, but it hasn't been as bad as it was last time they were here. My cousin even took me shopping. Yay. New clothes. Ultra tight jeans. yay.
Anyways, there's lot more to say, but I'll getto it later. i have to fit last years post in here and update my web page and prepare for the Annual thank you's. I've put a lot of thought into it this year, so check back New Years, or the day after New years. Love you all.
BTW, I would like to wish Mason, Jamie's new baby boy, a very special welcome to the world and Jamie, God has sent you an early Christmas gift. CHerish it, and just know that he, God, will take care of all the worries and all the hurdles that will come your way. God bless you both.
Okay, the repost .
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 12-2002 Thank Yous >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Shut up people. I need not have you telling me that you are upset that I didn't post my thanks. I've just been overwhelmed with things in my life. I'll tell you about it all in my next blog, but right now, I'll do my thanks. Sorry, I swear this willn't happen again.
My Mom Debra- You've been such a great help with college and all and I really love and appreciate you.
My sister "L"- You totally pissed me off this year, but yet I always forgive you. I forgive you because I know you are not as smart as most people, but you have a warm heart and it always shine thru.
My Brother Will- This year has been extremely tiring for us. I have exhausted all my reasonings for why I should continue to strive to love and accept you. The whole family has pretty much given up on you, and I was the only one standing up for you, but now, it's comming to an end. You have betrayed the last person that loved you. God bless you in the future because from now on, you stand alone.
To my twin brother Chris- YAY! YOU'RE COMMING BACK TO INDIANAPOLIS TO LIVE IN THE SUMMER OF 2003. I could not be happier. You have always stayed connected with me eventhough you were not in the same state. I love you so much and I'm sure this summer will be a total blast!
To my three neices, one nephew, one greatgrand neice, and one greatgrand nephew- YOu all are like my kids. It seems as though I will never have kids, but that's okay because I have you all. SO much love you you all and you may never know it.
To Rosie- We have yet to meet in person, but I love you so much. Ido care and though you may question my motives and feelings, I know in my heart it's all pure. You have such a sexy voice too. Growl. lol. I just wish for you to be happy. You are such a comfort to talk to. I have so much love for you.
To Andrew H. - You were supposed to be my soulmate. I think it has become evident that we aren't soulmates, but I do love you. You are a very hard person to figure out. But, the person I think I know, I love dearly. I do hope things steady out for you in 2003.
To Cory- Why do I love you so much? Since the day I meet you, I knew you would be trouble. Those blue eyes are dangerous, yet I find something that other people don't behind them. You have a great soul, but I just think you are on a journey that you were supposed to complete sooner. We went thru some very disturbing things together and we are trying to rebuild our friendship/relationship. But however can we trust each other anymore. I hurt you, you hurt me. You tell me it's because we love each other too much that it scares us. I think that may be so. So, where do we go from here in 2003?
To Cheryl- Yes, you. Geezus. You take my virginity,, you lie to me, you cry on my shoulder, you stab me in the back. I have no ideal why I let you do all these things to me. Well, yes I do. It's because you were my first and that was important to me. Thank you for being there for me, but we've got to work something out with our relationship. It's too much to be your friends, yet it's absoulute hell not to be.
To Booger (My cat) - You are such a pussy. Why must you always wake me up in the mornings to your foul farts? Bad kitty. Still love you though.
To Jodi- Geezus, we have came a long way. You have been a sweet release from my stupid life. I think we would make such a great couple. Just to cuddle and be with each other. You can get sex from somewhere else cause I know we wouldn't be compatible in that department. lol. I still think you are such a cutey. I have grown to geniunly love you are a person. You and I have matured in a lot of ways. You are such a pleasure to talk to evenever you aren't totally busy partying or getting laid you horn dog. I don't think you know how much I love you. Of course you don't, because I never tell you. But, honestly, you do make my day way happier. And all those pics you send me,..... (sigh). I wish I could just give you a big hug and cuddle with you on a cold night like this one.
To Shelya- Geezus, to be my ex sister in law, I sure don't know anything about you. Eventhough we have a better line of communication now, I still crave knowledge. I admire you as a mother. You make good with what you have and you have a strong faith in God and it's very refreshing. I love ya, and I look forword in 2003 to get to know you better.
To Jorja- Um, are we still friends? You spoke to me twice in 2002. That's so not normal. I'm upset.
To Shawna- My girl! OMG, you didn't go to California after all. I'm so happy. You helped me with some stuff this year and I helped you with some big stuff. We are a bunch of schemeing bitches and no one can ever bring us down. When we lie, no one knows it . I love you so much. You are my first and favorite fag hag ever. God, I want to do you so bad. LOL.
To Brandon- OMG, stop being so hot. Dude, you really do not have to go around threatening Cory. I know you hate his for what he did to me and I think you are a total sweetheart, but lets get over it. I have. You are one of the top running contestant to take my gay virginity. LOL. Okay, yes, there, I said it. Sue me. You are one angry queer, and I love that. Thank you so much for standing up for me.
To Ashley N.- Yes, I'm noticing that I've been way forgiving this year, but you are one of my favorite people who I forgave. It's amazing how connected we are. I think after a while of getting over loving Cory, you and I will be able to start a relationship. I know this issue has came up and we talked about it. I do totally love you and I'm glad to take you under my wing. Lots of love to you. 2003 will be a year for us to celibrate all we have.
Okay, sorry if I forgot anyone this year. I will remember you if you only talk to me more. I love you all though and I wsh everyone a happy 2003. I think it may be great fro me. It sure is starting off great. I'll update my blog in two days I promise. There's a lot of nice things happening to me so I wish to share them with you. But for now, I must get some rest so I can get up and study and do my homework. Love you all, honestly.
1:11 AM
Let me update you on the current stuff though, as of December 2003. Okay, had a boyfriend. Yes, got one. Ha d him for three days, and he decided he wanted to take a break. I guess three days of me is enough. Well, that is until he got horny and asked me to , um, well, deliver to hi a blowing, which I did because I'm ignorant. Now, keep in mind, we're still "on break". Okay, the second time he gets a boner, and of course me being the dumb fuck I am, I deliver another blowing, but this time, he wants to finish by, um, having sex with me. Now, I'm not here to debate on what's serious and what's not and if oral sex is just the same as blah blah blah. It's just that personally, have sex with someone is a whole different thing, and I'm not going to give it up to a guy when 1. We've only been officially dating for little over a week. 2. We're on break, according to him. He made the choice, so let him live with it. And 3. A guy that I've known for awhile, and with that, I know he hasn't been commited to one person in his entire life. So, I say no to the sex, and he flips. And, first off, pushes me off of him and starts yelling how it's not a big deal and how I'm acting like he has a disease or something. So, yeah, I'm two things. I'm scared, thinking this guy is going to kill me in my own house and I'm also ready because self defense classes kick in and I'm planning my move to bring him down. Luckily, Shawna, my fucking angel to say the least, shows up at the door. That son of a bitch leaves, and I'm hugging her all over, and crying. Ugh. Guys are dumb.
So, later that night I find out that my raciest, homophobic, ultra bible pushing family from Georgia and Wisconsin are spending holidays with us. So, I have to also deal with them and it's so emotionally draining. They got here Friday, but it hasn't been as bad as it was last time they were here. My cousin even took me shopping. Yay. New clothes. Ultra tight jeans. yay.
Anyways, there's lot more to say, but I'll getto it later. i have to fit last years post in here and update my web page and prepare for the Annual thank you's. I've put a lot of thought into it this year, so check back New Years, or the day after New years. Love you all.
BTW, I would like to wish Mason, Jamie's new baby boy, a very special welcome to the world and Jamie, God has sent you an early Christmas gift. CHerish it, and just know that he, God, will take care of all the worries and all the hurdles that will come your way. God bless you both.
Okay, the repost .
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 12-2002 Thank Yous >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Shut up people. I need not have you telling me that you are upset that I didn't post my thanks. I've just been overwhelmed with things in my life. I'll tell you about it all in my next blog, but right now, I'll do my thanks. Sorry, I swear this willn't happen again.
My Mom Debra- You've been such a great help with college and all and I really love and appreciate you.
My sister "L"- You totally pissed me off this year, but yet I always forgive you. I forgive you because I know you are not as smart as most people, but you have a warm heart and it always shine thru.
My Brother Will- This year has been extremely tiring for us. I have exhausted all my reasonings for why I should continue to strive to love and accept you. The whole family has pretty much given up on you, and I was the only one standing up for you, but now, it's comming to an end. You have betrayed the last person that loved you. God bless you in the future because from now on, you stand alone.
To my twin brother Chris- YAY! YOU'RE COMMING BACK TO INDIANAPOLIS TO LIVE IN THE SUMMER OF 2003. I could not be happier. You have always stayed connected with me eventhough you were not in the same state. I love you so much and I'm sure this summer will be a total blast!
To my three neices, one nephew, one greatgrand neice, and one greatgrand nephew- YOu all are like my kids. It seems as though I will never have kids, but that's okay because I have you all. SO much love you you all and you may never know it.
To Rosie- We have yet to meet in person, but I love you so much. Ido care and though you may question my motives and feelings, I know in my heart it's all pure. You have such a sexy voice too. Growl. lol. I just wish for you to be happy. You are such a comfort to talk to. I have so much love for you.
To Andrew H. - You were supposed to be my soulmate. I think it has become evident that we aren't soulmates, but I do love you. You are a very hard person to figure out. But, the person I think I know, I love dearly. I do hope things steady out for you in 2003.
To Cory- Why do I love you so much? Since the day I meet you, I knew you would be trouble. Those blue eyes are dangerous, yet I find something that other people don't behind them. You have a great soul, but I just think you are on a journey that you were supposed to complete sooner. We went thru some very disturbing things together and we are trying to rebuild our friendship/relationship. But however can we trust each other anymore. I hurt you, you hurt me. You tell me it's because we love each other too much that it scares us. I think that may be so. So, where do we go from here in 2003?
To Cheryl- Yes, you. Geezus. You take my virginity,, you lie to me, you cry on my shoulder, you stab me in the back. I have no ideal why I let you do all these things to me. Well, yes I do. It's because you were my first and that was important to me. Thank you for being there for me, but we've got to work something out with our relationship. It's too much to be your friends, yet it's absoulute hell not to be.
To Booger (My cat) - You are such a pussy. Why must you always wake me up in the mornings to your foul farts? Bad kitty. Still love you though.
To Jodi- Geezus, we have came a long way. You have been a sweet release from my stupid life. I think we would make such a great couple. Just to cuddle and be with each other. You can get sex from somewhere else cause I know we wouldn't be compatible in that department. lol. I still think you are such a cutey. I have grown to geniunly love you are a person. You and I have matured in a lot of ways. You are such a pleasure to talk to evenever you aren't totally busy partying or getting laid you horn dog. I don't think you know how much I love you. Of course you don't, because I never tell you. But, honestly, you do make my day way happier. And all those pics you send me,..... (sigh). I wish I could just give you a big hug and cuddle with you on a cold night like this one.
To Shelya- Geezus, to be my ex sister in law, I sure don't know anything about you. Eventhough we have a better line of communication now, I still crave knowledge. I admire you as a mother. You make good with what you have and you have a strong faith in God and it's very refreshing. I love ya, and I look forword in 2003 to get to know you better.
To Jorja- Um, are we still friends? You spoke to me twice in 2002. That's so not normal. I'm upset.
To Shawna- My girl! OMG, you didn't go to California after all. I'm so happy. You helped me with some stuff this year and I helped you with some big stuff. We are a bunch of schemeing bitches and no one can ever bring us down. When we lie, no one knows it . I love you so much. You are my first and favorite fag hag ever. God, I want to do you so bad. LOL.
To Brandon- OMG, stop being so hot. Dude, you really do not have to go around threatening Cory. I know you hate his for what he did to me and I think you are a total sweetheart, but lets get over it. I have. You are one of the top running contestant to take my gay virginity. LOL. Okay, yes, there, I said it. Sue me. You are one angry queer, and I love that. Thank you so much for standing up for me.
To Ashley N.- Yes, I'm noticing that I've been way forgiving this year, but you are one of my favorite people who I forgave. It's amazing how connected we are. I think after a while of getting over loving Cory, you and I will be able to start a relationship. I know this issue has came up and we talked about it. I do totally love you and I'm glad to take you under my wing. Lots of love to you. 2003 will be a year for us to celibrate all we have.
Okay, sorry if I forgot anyone this year. I will remember you if you only talk to me more. I love you all though and I wsh everyone a happy 2003. I think it may be great fro me. It sure is starting off great. I'll update my blog in two days I promise. There's a lot of nice things happening to me so I wish to share them with you. But for now, I must get some rest so I can get up and study and do my homework. Love you all, honestly.
1:11 AM