College life. My life. The life, In the life. MMMMMMM, lifesavers!
I'm happy and loving life. My email Address is firstname.lastname@example.org if you wish to email me. I love you all.
Popularity and College is a bitc8
Monday, February 21, 2011
Okay, cursor, enough with the blinking. I will type now!!!! Geez.
Hello everyone. Welcome to my blog, and double welcome to my Annual Thank Yous. I'll start with a quick update. I'm sleeping better now. I had a chance to hear some stories of Mike and stories of Dannon that I hadn't ever heard. It was nice to reflect and to be around people who knew them a lot longer than I had. It's so nice to hear the impact people have on other's lives in such positive way. I find such comfort in that.
I'm restarting this year. I was thinking how much I hated 2010. But then, I think on it in this way. it was the last year that I was able to spend with Mike and the only year I was able to know Dannon so I can't hate or dismiss it. It holds cherished memories and I will give it at least that respect. As I move on with the New Year, I won't forget the many many lessons I learned, and the friends that will not be traveling through 2011 with me in the physical.
Okay, lets start off with my 2011 resolutions. So many people have just gave up on making resolutions. I can't do that. I love them. Goals. I'm always a planner. Sort of anal in that way. So, I'm very comfortable with making resolutions. Here are my ten for 2011:
1. I resolve to loose 15 pounds by Pride in June, and 45 Pounds by December 20th! Crazy? Yes. Possible Yes.
2. I resolve to get reconnected to God and church. The main thing is to have 10 minutes of Prayer time and 5 minutes of simply meditation time a day. Also to try hard to be regular in church attendance again. Though cash flow issues are mainly to blame for this not happening recently, I think I will try to stretch my body limits a little more in order to make sure that I do get there.
3. I resolve to get to writing people a physical letter. I know that I made this resolution before and failed miserably at it. Now, I'm recommitting to it. I love to write vs. type. So, that means, all of you need to get me your mailing addresses so I can randomly drop you a hand written letter.
4. I resolve to write a blog at least once every two weeks. I was reading the email I got from this kid when I had just turned 21. He wrote how my blog was awesome in showing another side of "gay people" that was different than anything he had experienced. And that he didn't feel so different after all. I have to keep reaching those people out there and I believe my blog does that.
5. I resolve to finish up at least two of my writings this year. I have a lot of started stories and plays, but none completed since 2006. I'm going to get on it and finish at least two this year.
6. I resolve to get back on the front lines of the fight for equality for ALL GOD'S CHILDREN. I do a lot of behind the scenes stuff, but I really need to do more of the foot work to re energize my soul. I want to be among the people I'm helping.
7. I resolve to end the two "Physical Only" relationships that I picked up in 2010. I thought I honestly could do the "typical" guy thing and get involved with someone just for the "pleasure" . But after the first time, I just noticed that this is just not me at all. I'm not that type of person. I totally understand why people would choose that life. I mean, the heartbreak stuff really really really hurts. And it's not just for a day or two. It sucks for a long time. But, I just would rather experience the heartbreak than to not have a heart at all. Companionship is key to any relationship. And to be denied in public, yet be summoned in private..... that's just not me. I really lowered my moral standards in 2010. No more. I want to feel good about me again.
8. I resolve to Get to a doctor. I'm not sickly or anything, but I have to stop hating and avoiding doctors. I need to get my blood pressure under control, and I have to get things checked out.
9. I resolve to give that forgiveness I've been denying. There are a lot of people I've not fully forgiven for their Betrayals in 2010. I'm not angry or anything, I've just not been able to fully forgive. With God's help, I want to achieve this completely in 2011.
10. I resolve to Act. I am a Thespian at heart, and my heart sinks to think I've not been able to do my craft in so long. AGENT JIM, WHERE ARE YOU? I don't care what form it is in, but I want to be in something, or do something to exercise my Thespian Muscle.
Okay that's it. So, with your help (hold me accountable please. If I start to slip say "remember # blah blah), I am pretty sure I can accomplish these goals.
Now, to my annual thank you. As in the previous 10 years (Holy crap I've done this blog thing for a very long time) here's the disclosure.
These are my annual thank yous for the people who made an important positive impact in my life in the previous years. This is a no negativity Zone. Even if I hate you now (lol) , if you did at least one good thing for me in 2010, you're getting a thanks. If you're not mentioned, I'm sorry. With my old age ( and my continuing growing friends list) it's hard to keep up sometimes. But, I will try hard next year to remember you. :). These are in no particular order at all. I know most people just look for their name and snub the rest. That's fine. But, I really hope that when you have more time, you take a few moments to see some of the other people who have made an impact in my life. They deserve some notice just as you do and I hope that you may befriend someone who I have befriended because you see how effing awesome they are.
Okay, Here we Go.
Abby D- Your strength which gives me inspiration. Your soft spots even when you try to hide them. That's why I thank you.
AJ- Thank you so much for being an awesome mentor to my friend and supporting him in ways I can't. Thru you, I keep a friend and in you I gain one.
Alejandro D- Never did I think we could get back to being friends after all that happened to us. We are, and it's your words of encouragement that got me thru the darkest days of 2010. Thank you.
Amanda M- Your beauty continues to shine in the face of trails and tribulations. Your walk with God on this journey inspires and gives me courage and strength. Thank you for showing me this.
Amy Jo- Rare is it to find a person that is so very strong, yet so filled with love in her heart. You are one of the greatest gifts I got from 2010. Thank you so much for your words of love. You don't speak with malice or hate when you tell your opinions on what I should do better in my life, and I appreciate each and every word you say. Thank you so very much.
Andrew T- Thank you for keeping things real and interesting. You are unique and beautiful and beautifully unique. I was supposed to hate you, but I have nothing but love for you crazy skinny man.
Mychelle P- A lot happened and a long road was traveled in order to become friends with you. I wouldn't change it at all. You are so promising and I take comfort in knowing you. You're the best almost cousin I know. Love you.
Ashley C- Wit, class, beauty, and one of the best huggers. Your words of encouragement and love helped me lift my head up when I was at my lowest. Thank you for that.
Ashley W- Never have I so eagerly awaited texts than when I expected one from you. You are my sister not by blood, but in every way that counts. Thank you so much for being there and never giving up on being friends with me. Thank you so much for your words and sharing your journey with me.
Beau B-Thank you for not kicking my butt after the many unwanted advances I threw your way. Thank you for your willingness to share your life with me and keeping me grounded at times.
Ben L- I can not thank you enough for your eagerness to aid me even when I try to not accept it due to pride. You are a beautiful person, inside, outside. All sides. You shine with the light of Christ and you are a very important friend to me. Thank you.
Brandi H- You constant words of warmth are beyond this world. You words ring in my head well after they are said and I thank you so much for that.
Brent W- Thank you for your warm smile and your awesome sense of humor.
Byron W- Thank you for your guiding hand.
Carol Lee- Thank you so much for your guidance and wisdom. You continue to encourage me and point north to where I should be focused. Thank you for being a constant friend.
Chad S- Nothing surprised me more than to learn your story and be so eager to be a friend to you whenever you need it. I hope that I can be just that because you're a great person who most defiantly deserves it.
Jordan C- Thank you for those late night chats that kept me alive. You really are a shining example of God's love.
Penny D- My luxurious leader, you are so fantastic that it hurts. Thank you so much for your commitment to our friendship and the love I feel just by looking in your eyes.
Rosanna N- Thank you for so many things. I know it may seem like it's weird or something, but I thank you so much just for being you. For keeping my friend happy (and out of trouble)
Hannah M- Thank you for adopting me. lol. In all seriousness, thank you just for your beautiful smile and spirit.
Johnny B- Thank you for being awesome and making me think about a lot of stuff. You sorta restarted my engine.
Jorden D- Love you, hate you. This is our relationship. But in all honesty, I could not imagine that anyone would be able to get me to roll down a friggen hill. You challenge me in a way no other can. Not just the hill, but in so many other ways. Thank you.
Susan R- Thank you so much for always offering words of encouragement. Sorry for having you so worried about me at times. My facebook status' are either or, and rarely in between.
Dan V- Thank you for your companionship in dark and lonely times.
Cynthia H- Thank you for the Brunches and the awesome advice and words of hope.
Shelli H- Thank you for being my crazy server, and better yet, being someone that I could talk to about some really personal stuff
Matt M- For an ex, you really are something special. . You frustrate me to hell sometimes, but you're a great friend to me in times I feel like I have none. You really do get me and that's pretty hard to do. Thanks.
Nancy S- I'm not going to tell you how much you mean to me, because I think that it will take up the rest of the month just covering it all. I love you so much and I thank you for all the conversations, the willingness to share your journey, the collected way you conduct yourself, and the strength you show even in the darkest hours. Thank you.
Jewel H-Thank you for showing me a beautiful example of a human being. Yes, we met in PIR, but just from our conversations, and what you share on FB, I'm really appreciative and proud that you are my friend.
Jamie M- Thank you so much for your hugs, kisses, humor, love and comfort. You shared so much with me and you inspire me for the future.
Randy k- Deacon, yes, but more than that to me you're a friend. Your soul is so beautiful and I thank you so much for giving me a piece of that.
Melissa L- You are one of the sweetest persons I know. It's awesome how you comfort me so very much in times where comfort seems impossible, You have morals and love and strength that is so very inspiring. Thank you so much for all that you've done for me which is much more than many. Thank you for being you.
Michelle D- Sometimes, the advice and accountability I get from you is hard to swallow, but I hate to say this, you're always right. You guide me so well to what I know is right and just don't want to admit it. Thank you for your friendship. You've gotten me thru so much.
Tiffany P- Lord, if I squeeze you too hard, I think I will break you, but that's what I want to do every time I think of you or are around you. In that small package, there is more heart and values than most people achieve in a lifetime, and you got it at such a young age. Tiff, without you I am sure I would be lost. I love you so much. thank you for giving me comfort.
Latrice C- You're exceptional. I feel so much at ease around you.. As much crap I give you sometimes, it's amazing that you share your soul with me and wow, is it soulful. You are God's light. You shine with it. You give it. You are..............AMAZING.
Xandonlyn W- When a banker becomes a friend, you know she's gotta be special. Xandy, your love and persistence in encouragement and your willingness to share makes me feel so close to you. Thank you for the walks and the talks, and the outright beautiful soul you show.
Robert F- You hold me accountable, and I love that. You are that calm voice when I can't find one. Thank you so much for being a mentor, and a great example who Christ love!
Tom C- You silly boy. You think you can compete with me, but you can't. For, you have won. I wish I were as sweet as you. Thank you so much for the big hugs and the beautiful smiles of comfort.
Darryl H- Your sweet spirit and you awful sense of humor are things I just must thank you for. You're awesome.
Dee L- Thank you for never hesitating to call me a effing idiot when I'm being one. You're honesty is sometimes confused with ho0stility, but I see where it comes from. A heart as big as all get out. Thank you for that.
Derrick H- Thank you for showing me the good side of pretty boys.
George B-No words can describe the feeling I feel whenever I see you. And to be blessed with conversation and fellowship with you, wow. Thank you so much for being an awesome friend and a testament to God's love.
Hannah C- You are one of the sweetest and unique people I know. Though you tried to Out Gaga me for Halloween, I forgive you and thank you for always putting a smile on my face.
JaHuana C- You're nasty. Okay, let me start again. You're awesome. Thank you for being able to get me to think about some stuff and providing that serious tone when things aren't, and that funny one when things get to serious.
David W- Thank you so much for teaching me just a little more about being a healthier me. I try hard to incorporate what I have learned.
Pastor Jeff- Thank you for being such a great guide. Under so much pressure, you have been a solider. Your sermons inspire, challenge, and comfort me. You are awesome. Thank you.
Elaina L- Thank you for befriending my niece and giving her a sense of comfort. Thank you for always making me laugh. I'm sorry if it's mainly at your expense, but you're a sweetheart in being able to take a joke.
Jenna M- Thank you for the make out sessions. lol. But in all seriousness, thank you for all the fun I have with you at the poker table and away from it. You have such a beautiful spirit and I'm just so glad I'm able to be part of it.
Mark B- You are such a beautiful man, yet you are one of the sweetest people that I know. Thank you for blessing us with your talents at church, and with your awesome friendship outside of church. You are awesome in every way.
Joan H- Thank you for being a rock. You are truly a blessing to me. Your hugs are of legends, and your constant example of friendship gives me strength and warmth. thank you for being so awesome to not only me but everyone around you.
Nancy M- I love Ms Nancy with all my heart, and I hope you know that. When I see you smile, my day is 30% better. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful person.
Tommy C- Thank you for your big bear hugs and your awesome sense of humor. And might I add, thank you for always smelling so good. I know it's weird to say, but whenever I see you, I have to get a big sniff. You're such an awesome person. Thank You for being my friend.
Marcus E- Thank you for your continued support in the family and your friendship and humor.
Winnie W- Winnie with your big hugs and even bigger heart, I thank you so much for being a wonderful friend.
Joni C- Joni, you have to overcome so many obstacles, yet you keep going and continue to show your beautiful gentle spirit. Thank you so much for showing strength and love in what you do. Thank you for being my friend.
Jenni C- You're awesome. it's that simple. Thank you for your continued friendship and giving me a big head by telling people who I don't know how awesome I am. I can never live up to what you see in me, but thank you for seeing that in me.
Jude M- Thank you so much for being so sweet to me even through some pretty rough times for yourself. Thank You for making me smile and giving super fantastic hugs.
Lynn A- Thank you Lynn for your help in so many things, and just opening up your heart and story to me. You tell me exactly what's on your heart and I appreciate every word of advice you give me.
Madison Z- Thank you for the awesome communication and friendship. After how rude I was to you during the whole "Hell Phase" I'm so appreciative that you're my friend.
Markeesha L- Thank you so much for your encouraging words and being sweet to me even when I puzzled the hell out of you.
Raphael T- Thank you for being my teacher and most of all my friend. There are times when I really feel that you know exactly what is going on in my head and you're able to react in a way that helps me so much. I know you look at me weird in your weird "Dude, I hope you remember, I'm str8" way, but I love you. It's that simple. Thank you so much.
Stephanie J- Stephanie, there were moments when I thought less of you, and I'm so glad I got the hell over it to see what an awesome person you are. You are fantastic. You make me smile whenever I'm around you and you are one of the people I look forward to seeing whenever I enter Ollywood. You're a fantastic person and thank you for being such a sweetheart to me even when I have my Dicky moments.
Marquetta S- Thank you for being so beautiful and sharing portions of your life with me. You are an amazing person and a super fantastic friend.
Debra E- Too often you feel you have somewhat failed as a mother. I swear this is not true. I have such a great mother. We bump heads and have some big differences, but there is always a common thing.... there is great love between us. Why else would I put up with your crap. Just kidding. Thank you for your loving support thru this year. You were the number one reason why I was able to make it thru it all.
LaVitra e- You are the best sister that anyone could have. Thank you for being there for me and helping support not only mom, but me as well. Your soul is so beautiful.
Grandma Gene- Still with me you remain. There were so many times that I thought " I wish I could call Grandma about this" but then I come to realize that you are her to talk to right now. Your words in the past continue to strengthen me and get me back on the right path. Thank you.
Antwain H- Thank you so much for being my only black friend. LOL. But seriously, your conversation and realism keeps me in constant thought about better things instead of wallowing in things that suck.
Rose E- Thank you so much for all the help you have provided the family as we struggeled through some deep doo doo. I don’t tell you enough that sometimes I appreciate the things that you do. You drive me crazy, but I still love your crazy ass.
Okay, that’s it. it took over a month to complete these and though there are so many that I did thank, I know there are far more who I may have forgot. Sorry in advance, but, yeah, its your fault to. Now on to your regularly scheduled blogging. Love you all.