I'm thinking about this virginity thing even more. I narrowed it down to six of my friends. Well, let me take that back; Six friends and two online people who want to meet in a Fancy Hotel for a romantic week. I'm like, ugh, someone just take me. I asked all my friends if they would, and most of them said stuff like, "Yeah, if it's something you really really want to do. I would rather it be with me or another one of your friends instead of a stranger or a net perv." I love them all so much. I mean, only true friends would say that. Even some of my guy friends said that, and I'm like, wow. I just don't know.
Let's back track to my trip to North Carolina. After nearly loosing my entire self I set out to discover and do something different. I was so tired and so alone. While down in North Carolina I redownload one of those gay chat apps because I was bored . Needless to say horny as well, but that's just my entire being. Btw, when they tell you that your sex drive does down as you get older, they're a damn lie. I've never felt as sexually driven as I am now. Ever. Back ti the point, I was feeling all kind of things while trying to figure out what exactly I need to help myself. One experiment was to just stop beating up in myself and not put sexuality on such a high pedestal. I started with thinking that sex was special and reserved for when you meet that special someone and then you open up and then bam. Never been one of the casual sex scene. But my mind at the time was I am never going to find that someone so no use in being sexually frustrated waiting for somethin