Okay, a lot has happened. I found out the girl I used to be in love with, Brandie, is about to get married to the jerk I can't satnd, James K. And Guess what, I'm invited to the friggin wedding. Ughhhhhhhhhh. Brandie and I have know each other for about two years, and she's known him about a year. Yet she isn't "allowed" to talk to me for extended periods of time, nor is she allowed to go to lunch with me like we used to. It's like, man, wow, he's in control, eh? He's 26 and she's 19. Ew. So, the wedding is tommorow, Saturday the 25th, at 1 pm. So, then I found out a couple of days ago, a friend of mine died. His name was Scott. I put the ad that was in the newspaper in the blog. I was good friends with him in middle school, but we kinda lost touch in high school. It totally sucks. I cried and laughed, and cried. His funeral is at 5pm tomorrow, saturday 25. The same day I found out about scott, I locked my keys in my car and I was in a bad part of town. Okay, maybe not bad, but it was a very different part of town. I had an arin to run. I just was so distrute by Scott that I just locked up my doors and forgot about the keys. So, I wait outside until my sis comes and bring my extra set of keys, when it started storming. Go figure. SO I was soaked. Standing outside my car, looking stupid. So, I was totally depressed and just locked myself in my room for the rest of the day. I have much more to say, but I'll shut up since Rosie wants to read this blog sooooooooooooooooooooo badly.
Let's back track to my trip to North Carolina. After nearly loosing my entire self I set out to discover and do something different. I was so tired and so alone. While down in North Carolina I redownload one of those gay chat apps because I was bored . Needless to say horny as well, but that's just my entire being. Btw, when they tell you that your sex drive does down as you get older, they're a damn lie. I've never felt as sexually driven as I am now. Ever. Back ti the point, I was feeling all kind of things while trying to figure out what exactly I need to help myself. One experiment was to just stop beating up in myself and not put sexuality on such a high pedestal. I started with thinking that sex was special and reserved for when you meet that special someone and then you open up and then bam. Never been one of the casual sex scene. But my mind at the time was I am never going to find that someone so no use in being sexually frustrated waiting for somethin