You know what I hate!!!!!!!!!1 I hate when people pretend to like someone then they go talk about them behind their backs. It's totally stupid. It's like, I get called a bitch for telling people how I really feel about them good or bad. But yet someone who lies to a person and say stuff like, "Oh, I like you. You are nice" that person is seen as a nice person for not saying, um, the truth. Ughhhhhhhhh. Anyways, whatever. So, I have the intense need to shop right now, so I am going to gap.com after I finish this. Yeah yeah, Rosie' always pick at me about shopping at the gap. It's not like I'm shopping at Abercrombie & Finch.. God. Anyways, I have a new net friend name Jodi, and she's wants to jump my bones so bad. She's totally weird though. It's like she wants me to talk to her, but she wants me to only talk seriously and she doesn't want to hear about rosie. I don't know. I think she's psycho, but if I ever said that to her or Rosie, they would both be totally pissed at me. Yet again, for letting people know how I truely feel and not lieing to them, I get called a bitch or a meany. Ugh. Well, I gotta go shop. Talk to you all later. Soon, I promise
Let's back track to my trip to North Carolina. After nearly loosing my entire self I set out to discover and do something different. I was so tired and so alone. While down in North Carolina I redownload one of those gay chat apps because I was bored . Needless to say horny as well, but that's just my entire being. Btw, when they tell you that your sex drive does down as you get older, they're a damn lie. I've never felt as sexually driven as I am now. Ever. Back ti the point, I was feeling all kind of things while trying to figure out what exactly I need to help myself. One experiment was to just stop beating up in myself and not put sexuality on such a high pedestal. I started with thinking that sex was special and reserved for when you meet that special someone and then you open up and then bam. Never been one of the casual sex scene. But my mind at the time was I am never going to find that someone so no use in being sexually frustrated waiting for somethin