Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of love. I follow how to care about other people and I'm just so tired of getting nothing in return. I don't be nice because I want something in return, but damn already. I see all these people who deserve nothing in life, get everything, and I'm stuck with nothing at all. Nothing at fucking all!!!!!!!
Feeling Sad Hearing Jet- Look what we've Done Short Ooooo, look what you've done. You've made a fool of everyone. Oh well, it seems like such fun until you loose what you have have won. JUST DEPRESSION: Kevin wants me to quit my job. What can I say? Um, doesn't help that I started PMS'ing yesterday. I can think straight. I haven't anyone to turn to right now. My friends are away. Somehow I'm to wake up tomorrow and watch my best friend get married while I am so alone. While I'm so sad. While, I'm nothing but mush. And all day tomorrow I will have to keep that stupid smile on my face which draws me seconds closer to suicide. I'm sick. I'm tired. I barly have energy to get out of bed. I'm thinking selffishly. I've not lost myself, I've just made sure I can never be found for this depression is deeper, stronger, and more endurring than any of it's predesesors. To my lord I turn, to no avail, to my friends I tur...