I mean, damnit, I'm nice. I don't murder, I don't hurt people for the joy of it. I love everything I come in contact with and I learn from everyone. I understan dpeeps and I show compassion for every fucking thing that I do. then I see criminals and drug addicts and murderers and racist, sexiest homophobic people get reward for doing nothing. Why is it so unbalenced in this fucking world. It's stupid. I continue to do good and get set back so many fucking times I can't even bare it anymore. I'm fucking loosing everything and the forementioned people are on top. God put me here for a reason, but I don't think I can help this world anymore. It's gone. it's done. i'm loosing faith and I'm the last person to do that, so I
Let's back track to my trip to North Carolina. After nearly loosing my entire self I set out to discover and do something different. I was so tired and so alone. While down in North Carolina I redownload one of those gay chat apps because I was bored . Needless to say horny as well, but that's just my entire being. Btw, when they tell you that your sex drive does down as you get older, they're a damn lie. I've never felt as sexually driven as I am now. Ever. Back ti the point, I was feeling all kind of things while trying to figure out what exactly I need to help myself. One experiment was to just stop beating up in myself and not put sexuality on such a high pedestal. I started with thinking that sex was special and reserved for when you meet that special someone and then you open up and then bam. Never been one of the casual sex scene. But my mind at the time was I am never going to find that someone so no use in being sexually frustrated waiting for somethin