OMG, what's happening to me? I've been very very emotional the past three days You would think that since I'm a psychology major, I would know what's wrong with me. I've been lashing out at Cory a lot too. I think it's the fustration of him always saying he's leaving his girlfriend, but whenever i see her, they are together. And my life sucks and I do want to die, seriously. Ugh! I'm not saying I'm going to kill myself, but if something were to happen to me, I would not fight death. Someone rob me, I'll fight them even if they have a gun. I'm just so sick of everyone in this stupid world. I know I'm a good person. I know I'm worthy of everything. But everyone in this world is ........ Ugh. Let me leave. Goodnight.
Let's back track to my trip to North Carolina. After nearly loosing my entire self I set out to discover and do something different. I was so tired and so alone. While down in North Carolina I redownload one of those gay chat apps because I was bored . Needless to say horny as well, but that's just my entire being. Btw, when they tell you that your sex drive does down as you get older, they're a damn lie. I've never felt as sexually driven as I am now. Ever. Back ti the point, I was feeling all kind of things while trying to figure out what exactly I need to help myself. One experiment was to just stop beating up in myself and not put sexuality on such a high pedestal. I started with thinking that sex was special and reserved for when you meet that special someone and then you open up and then bam. Never been one of the casual sex scene. But my mind at the time was I am never going to find that someone so no use in being sexually frustrated waiting for somethin