You know that episode of Buffy. Anya's debuted. When Giles get her amulet and about to destroy it. Then she says "you fool what makes you think the other universe Is better than this one?" Then he says " it has to be" then smashed the amulet bringing them to the other realitythis reality is not what it's supposed to be.
I use abstract things to explain how I feel because honestly a word has not been invented for how I feel. I do not like living in this reality. People being killed as if they do not matter, kids and families being put in cages and separated as if they dont matter, women the beautiful bringers of the future generations being dogged out and treated as they dont matter. What is this reality? What have we become? Can the good in this reality overcome the evil? I've always been enthusiastic in saying yes. But as you grow older and you keep fighting the same battles and your armor is weak, you start to question if it can truly happen. You're tired. Especially when you are empathetic and feel the hurt and pain of all others . Even those that are not " you and yours". Its enough to hurt for my black community, my lgbtq community . But also to hurt Just as much if not more for woman, and poor, and latino, and children, and imprisoned people, mentally challenged people, addicts, and the list goes on so long. I feel them. Their scars are my scars. These open wounds though bleed so profusely.