Skip to main content
Be a Simple Kind of मन
Current mood: busy
Category: Life


I'm just wanting to blog a very quick blog. So, don't look for much depth in this one my friends.

My soul is kinda sad right now. I'm trying to get inspired and all that, but I'm just not in the right kind of mind right now. I'm not able to see that light in the sky.

I'm not wanting to post just a general "I'm sad but I can't tell you why" blog. I have some clarity. Well, 25% anyways. The rest I'm still working through.

A question I'm asking myself is am I a homophobe. Yeah, that's way out of left field, I know. But help me work through this. I'm a very active person in the community when it comes to protecting our rights and our image. I have many Lesbian friends and all that. But, well, I really really really really really really have a problem with getting along with my gay male counterparts out there.

It's a struggle to even expose myself in this manner, but I will in hopes of getting better clarity.

I've had lesbian friends for as long as I've been alive. I'm often called a (I hate this term, but for the sake of total disclosure) "butchdyke" . I could see how I am sometimes. I'm not like the gay guys I know. I'm very different within the difference of being gay period. But, I've always been able to step outside myself when it comes to being friendly with people who are different from me. So, why do I struggle with this when it comes to gay males?

I often see myself being approached by these (forgive) skinney bitches and I'm so like, ugh, get away from me. That's disturbing on many levels. I fight so hard for us to be accepted and to be present. Gay, lesbian, transgendered. All of us. So, why do I feel this way when I see them. It's not jeolousy as I've discovered. To be a proud out gay person is to accept who you are, and I've had a very hard road to loving myself, but for the first time in my life I can honestly say that I do love myself. So, that's not the case. I do not wish harm to gay males. Hell, I want to marry one of them. So, what gives?

How can I be a true activist to the gay community and go around with these feelings in my head?

I'll explore these questions more later. For now I'm gonna go be around people.
Currently listening : Lynyrd Skynyrd - All Time Greatest Hits By Lynyrd Skynyrd Release date: 2000-03-14

Popular posts from this blog

Wednesday, December 7, 2005 4:10:24 AM EST Feeling Mischievous Eating a Chicken Broccoli Hot Pocket I smell Sex and Candy I just had to update after the night I had last night and the weekend I had. Lets start with the smaller stuff. I AM MY SISTERS HUSBAND: Yeah, catchy title, eh? Well, a little back ground. My dear sister "L" is in some sort of relationship with a man double her age. Well, they aren't physical or anything, but they are friendly with one another. So, recently he's had some medical problems and "L" wanted to visit him in the hospital ( And bring him a gigantic basket of fruit and all. Fixed up by her). So I come along because the basket was big and she needed help. We get up to the hospital room, and there he is WITH HIS WIFE! So, I'm sitting back and enjoying the psychology of it all. the wife sense something night right. My sister trying not to say the wrong thing. The guy trying to be happy without being too happy. ...
Your mom and I would make an excellent couple. You think she would strap on and do me hard wh enever I want her to? Yay. Hey. For all of those people who are looking at my AOL journal, I know it seems as if I did not post Sunday, but I did. Well, I posted at my blogger journal because my AOL won't load. They are having some difficulties or something and I can't wait until they fix. I will be going to bed after posting on the blogger blog, and I will just have to copy to the AOL journal tomorrow. Hopefully they'll have things fixed. MISSING YOU: I've been having such a rough time recently, and I swear that not having Jhoeny to talk to has been a major part of the reason. My dominican lover ( Jhoeny that is. Not her mom who is my Dominican Dominatrix) has been off and we haven't been able to speak. :( I can't even write her a letter because she's no longer at her old address that I have and she hasn't written me yet with her new address. I was crying Frid...
Hey Peeps, I just discovered Brett Dennen about a month ago. His song is on my profile. I'm just so in love with the lyrics he sing and I wanted to post a song up. PLEASE SUPPORT HIM AND BUY THE ALBUM. I have not gone a day since discovering him without listening to the album. There is so much more by Brett Dennen When I heard the news,My heart fell on the floorI was on a plane on my way to BaltimoreIn these trouble times it's hard enough as it isMy soul has a known a better life than thisI wonder how so many can be in so much pain,While others don't seem to feel a thing Then I curse my whiteness, And I get so damn depressed,In a world with suffering,Why should I be so blessed?I heard about a women who lives in Colorado,She built a monoment of sorts behind the garage doorWhere everyday she prays for all whom are bornAnd all whose souls have passed onSometimes my trouble gets so thickI can't see how Im gonna get through itBut then I'd rather be stuck up in a tre...