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How to make an Ass out of थोमa
Current mood: blessed
Category: Life

Drumroll please. Ok, introducing the best speechwriter, friend, lover, tennis player, website creator, and son in the whole world. Say hello to Mr. Tommy D D-licious. (Applause and riots starts)

Ok, I'm dorky today which is a very stark contrast to what happened yesterday. So, I just wanted to update that as soon as I could and let you all know what the crap happened. And update on some other crap. So, I'm in a crap mood sorta and I don't care so I'm going to just blog now because I have nothing better to do in the world.

Ok, yesterday I went to my church classes as I do every Thursday. Well, it was my day to share with the class my "Spiritual Journey" which is basically an outline your life as it is and the events that have shapped the way you feel about your connection with god. Well, you all know, I am a writer. I don't do the whole public speaking about myself unless it's in written form. Also, I have to contend with the fact that I have this ever so stupid social anxiety disorder. (Thanks Allie) Well, the last five or so months I've actually not taken anything and made a determination that I would do it without medication. The permenant cure is to actually do it without all that. So, with help of my dear friend Brandine (Thank you my love) who has put me in more social situations over the last year and has coached me to the best of her abilities to get me the hell out of this shell I am in, and help from other friends and basically myself pushing me out on the front lines of situations, I've made some huge steps. (That was so a run on sentence but I'm too lazy today to go back and correct so you sort it out bunghole. lol)

So, back on point, I made a decision to go ahead early in the class and share my spiritual journey with the class. Everyone is required to do so, and in retrospect, it may have been better if I did it later in order to feel more comfortable with the people I was delivering selfwrapped speech to. (Yes, I invented a new word. Too lazy to correct) So, there I was in front of a crowd with these gorgously interesting people, and I cracked. I left my original outline that I'd practice with out in the car and I was just going to go with it. End result, I looked like a damn fool in front of everyone. I was very disorganized with the events of MY life. As if I didn't even know myself. There was so much left out of the speech and there was so much I didn't even explain, but somehow the presentation lasted way longer than it was supposed to. How different was this.

I can write speeches that would make millions bow to my words, but when it comes to me giving it, esspecially about myself, it's like a 4 year oild trying to do caculous. Pethetic was the only thought that ran through my mind the rest of the class. I ran out of there so fast and just crumbled. It was a major set back.

One of the instructors of the class asked if I would have been able to do that at all just 6 months previous, and I gave a quick answer of "I would have rather crashed my car on the way here" . Today I woke with lots of thoughts in my head. How true that statement did ring. Six months ago, I would have just quit the class in order to not talk about my life in front of my crowd. Give me a topic like war, or healthcare or enviroment, and I would have had all of them standing and applauding with a neverending ovation. But talk about myself..... hell no. So, I realize that there was a certain degree of a hurtle that I was able to clear, but I must indeed practice more and try harder to come out of my shell.

MOVING ON. So, that was pretty much on my mind for the last 10 hours and I'm glad I got that out. So, all my energy was spent by disclosing that. I'm going to throw out some random thoughts.
From the previous post, I was able to eliminate two more guys from that pool. One because he's disapeared and no one knows where he is (No, James, I did not kill him) and the other because he farted in front of me and laughed about it. Ewww. lol. the other two, they're not even on my raydar anymore. Such a lonesome life. A happy one though, which is most important.
Yay For Hilary. You stay in there girl.
I love you Val. Thanks for comforting me last night. You're so totally awesome.
I was hit on today by a guy in the elevator at my mom's Job. I was in the statehouse heading over to see mom and in the elevator this guys just flat out said "Going down. (snicker) I don't usually ask that before the third date" And I'm standing there with a smile and I'm stunned. Then he says " Snow is coming. Wonder how many inch it'll get. I could take about 7 myslef" Then thank God the doors opened and I was on my way without saying a thing to the guy. Geez. I mean, whatever you want to do with your life, but are people actually that friggen bold. lol. He wasn't bad looking at all, but the minute he opens his mouth, all this garbage came pouring out which made him very unattractive. Don't get me wrong, as my friends will confirm, once we become friends, my mind can be pretty raunchy. But when you first meet someone, geez. lol.

Well, lets end this so you all can get to your fabulous lives। I love you all and thank you for taking the time. Remeber, keep your eyes open for a husband for me. I need to get my greencard. lol. Later peeps.


Currently listening : Blink 182 By blink-१८२
Release date: 18 November, 2003

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