OMG, the Gays of my life are really pissing me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In Alphabetical Order, Andrew is up first!!!! I wait for him to get online all the time. Just wait wait wait, because I love him or some bull like that, but he never shows up. I call call call, no answer. It's like, ugh. I mean, he is my boyfriend and we plan on moving in together, I think. Hmmm, are we still doing that? Anyways, it's like I make all this effort in this relationship, and he's making none! Ugh. Next, Johnny! Geezus, it's like he always turns on his away message when I get online and when we do talk, he just all of a sudden stops talking and puts on his away message. It's like, ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Jordan! He gets upset because I tell one little joke that was meant to be totally innocent! Then, he gets mad, eventhough he doesn't act like it, and says that he has to go to bed. It's like, Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then Justin, he comes by my house yesterday and tells me he was feeling lonely or some bull like that. He stays over night, and strips down to his undies and it's like he tease me and then he tells me it was a big mistake to ever "get, like, really into things with you" and it's like Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Rosie never gets online, because he stupid punishment so I can't tell all this to her, so it's like a bigger ugh. And last but not least Sam, who is a newer friend of mine, just broke up with his boyfriend of 5 years and he's totally depressed and talking about suicide and stuff like that, and I'm like Ugh. So Ugh to you all. Geezus, I need a vacation.
Let's back track to my trip to North Carolina. After nearly loosing my entire self I set out to discover and do something different. I was so tired and so alone. While down in North Carolina I redownload one of those gay chat apps because I was bored . Needless to say horny as well, but that's just my entire being. Btw, when they tell you that your sex drive does down as you get older, they're a damn lie. I've never felt as sexually driven as I am now. Ever. Back ti the point, I was feeling all kind of things while trying to figure out what exactly I need to help myself. One experiment was to just stop beating up in myself and not put sexuality on such a high pedestal. I started with thinking that sex was special and reserved for when you meet that special someone and then you open up and then bam. Never been one of the casual sex scene. But my mind at the time was I am never going to find that someone so no use in being sexually frustrated waiting for somethin