- Question 38 makes it a blog Update. Current mood: disappointed Category: Romance and Relationships
40 SecretsBe honest no matter whatOne: Who is your last text from?My sisterTwo: Where was your default picture taken?In a roomThree:What is your middle name?I don't give out that info. C.J.are the initialsFour: Whats your current favorite color?PurpleFive: Does somebody love you?NoSix: What is your current mood?Deep in thoughtSeven: When is your birthday?January 11thEight: What color shirt are you wearing?BlueNine: If you were going on a reality TV show, which one would it be?The Amazing RaceTen: Are you imagining anyone naked right now?Yes, alwaysEleven: Who is on your mind right now?My "lover". I'm thinking about ending this off again on again secret relationship for good.Twelve: Ever had a near death experience?YesThirteen: Something you do a lot?SING ALTHOUGH NOT THAT GREAT AT IT LOL(Same here Jhoeny)Fourteen: Who are you inspired by?The poor.fifteen: Do you want to see somebody right now?Yes, but I don';'t quite know yet how to say वहत - I want to say.Sixteen: How many piercings?zeroSeventeen: When was the last time you cried?A week agoEighteen: Who would you do anything for?My nieces and nephewsNineteen: Who is your hero?Superman?!?!?! Twenty: fave food?Right now, I'm totally in love with Arby's Italian Baked subTwenty-one: American Pie or Superbad?NEITHER REALLY. NOT MY KIND OF MOVIES THEY ARE SO STUPID AND PERVERTED. THOUGH ENTERTAINING BUT I WOULD NEVER WATCH THEM AGAIN.(Same here Jhoeny)Twenty-Two: What's your biggest fear?Never being able to find someone to truely share my life with, without the secrets and the bullcrap.Twenty-three: Where is your ex?The one who is the subject of all things right now is at home sleeping before he has to go to work.Twenty-five: What did you do last night?Resting and getting my thoughts str8Twenty-six: वहत
- was the first thing you said this morning?What the hell is that smell.Twenty-seven: Speak any other languages?SpanglishTwenty-eight: Whats your favorite smell?TideTwenty-nine: Do you like to sleep naked?Always.I never sleep any other way unless I'm at a friends or family member's houseThirty: Have you ever been kissed in the rain out side mcdonalds?lmao.NoThirty-one: Do you like rain?YesThirty-four: Whats your favorite memory?My father carrying me through the woods.Thirty-five: What are you listening to?Alicia Keys "Never see me again"Thirty-six: favorite non alcho-drink?Minute Maid Cherry LimadeThirty-seven: Who was the last person you yelled at?Abba (God)Thirty-eight: Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?EHH...IT'S COMPLICATED.(same here jhoeny, but I'll explain farther)I have someone who I dated briefly in the past. We had a great time, but we just didn't match. Then we broke up for about 5 months and then in a very complicated mess, we ended up doing the deed (which we didn't do when we were dating). Now, for the last several months, it's been a situation where when we need our needs satisfied, we come together. Then, first he said "I think I may want to love you" then I said, um, not yet. Then I started to feel that way too, so I said it and he said that he can't be out (of the closet) just yet. That he must remmber that we are to be secret until the right time. Which, I kinda understand, but I don't. But now it's like he's still getting वहत he wants and goes on with his life with women just to show off. And I'm putting my life on hold because I don't know! He gets upset when I even bring him up, so I try not to mention him or even bring him up in my blogs. I refer to him as my "special lover" , but now I want him to have an offical title. My long gone ex, or my future husband. No more in between.Thirty-nine: who is the last person you told "I love you"?My special lover.Fourty: Are you currently in love with anyone?I'm sorting it out now.
Let's back track to my trip to North Carolina. After nearly loosing my entire self I set out to discover and do something different. I was so tired and so alone. While down in North Carolina I redownload one of those gay chat apps because I was bored . Needless to say horny as well, but that's just my entire being. Btw, when they tell you that your sex drive does down as you get older, they're a damn lie. I've never felt as sexually driven as I am now. Ever. Back ti the point, I was feeling all kind of things while trying to figure out what exactly I need to help myself. One experiment was to just stop beating up in myself and not put sexuality on such a high pedestal. I started with thinking that sex was special and reserved for when you meet that special someone and then you open up and then bam. Never been one of the casual sex scene. But my mind at the time was I am never going to find that someone so no use in being sexually frustrated waiting for somethin