Ok, this may be a long post. I'm not sure. I just have a few things to speak about.
First, I'm going to just fill in some stuff. Shawna and I had a long talk yesterday about her drug usage with Justin. And, honestly peeps, Shawna has this " You're not the boss of me " personality. But, yesterday, she actually listened. We talked about a lot of stuff and she started crying and all this. peeps, I think my blonde bimbo best buddy is finally TRUELY in love. She said she was going to talk to Justin about the drug stuff and life stuff. Apparently he's been wanting to quit the partying and settle down as well. So, hell, I might be able to be a maid of Honor soon. :-)
Well, I'm getting so weirded out at work. Ok, the first few weeks I noticed that there was one gay guy named Corey who I mentioned before. Now, I noticed, there are four. John, Chris, Corey, and Derrick and it's like, OMG, it's queer haven here. There are three ultra straight guys, but the rest are gay. And I've not told anyone that I'm gay except for John ( Not the gay one. There are two) So, I'm like, weirded out, but I still hate the place because they are all stereotypical queers. Lisp, Hip Shake, Eye roll, Ultra gay. And the breeders are all ultra breeders. Beer Gusuling, pussy loving, burping fart Straights. Then there's me. lmao. Bi boy with basically not personality characteristics whatsoever. Geez, I sound like dulsville. I'm just not the type of person to get all induvidualized at work. I mean, I'm there to do a job and leave. I'm nice and all, but yadda. Well, I broke the rule and John ( The str8 one) calls me up because he's in Summer 1 classes and he has the same course I just completed. So he had some question and I said I would help him. So, I tell him I'm bi. ( Don't ask how it came up because honestly Idon't know) So, he asked the dumbest question in the world. " Does Drinking cum make you like guys more" I didn't answer him. Yeah, so, um, yeah. Dumb breeders. :-D
Ooo, I forgot to tell you. I passed all my courses! I didn't think I would pass all of them but somehow I pulled it off. Yes I flirted more than usually with one particular professor, but that's besides the point. LOL. i'm sure it had no influence on my grade. I'm smart, that's all.
So, One issue I really wanted to discuss is my being an activist. I've been very conflicted and I wish I had Jhoeny here to help me figure some stuff out. Ok, Background: I've been very active in Gay Rights in Indiana and the world for that matter, but more locally than worldly. So, I've done a lot of speeches and all this and I've been so conflicted with myself recently. I've asked, what am I fighting for. The values that I have are to Fall in love, find that special someone, be married, have kids, spend my life with them foever and always. And I want this done legally weither it's with a man or a woman. So, conflict, let me count how many gay friends I have. Oh, one. Yay. And lets see, where do I feel more comfortable and feel as if I'm accepted more Str8 bar or Gay Bar. Oooo, Str8 bar. Okay, so let me say this right because i wish not to offend anyone. I meet a lot of gay peeps. At work, at school, over the net, at gay bars when I do go there. Just everywhere. I've yet to meet one that has the same ideals about love life and all that stuff. they all seem to want a fuck buddy, or an experiment or whatever. Even my only gay friend wants only this. OMG, I sound aweful, and I'm so sorry. It's not just the young guys I meet. it's all the older guys as well. None of them believe in monogamy and it's just so discouraging. So, I'm just conflicted on what I'm fighting for. Now, Lesbians, 90% of the ones I've meet have the same values as I do. TO find love and commitment and all that. I guess one can argue that I'm fighting for them which is fine by me. But, what's happened to the gay guys? I feel so hurt and let down. I've been called unrealistic for having these values and it hurts me so. It's my lifes work for these values and to see that queer majority wish not to see my value implimented makes me kind of ashamed and if any one knows me, they know how much it hurts for me to say that. Well, I don't know. I just wish I could get an answer to the question to which I have no knowledge of. I don't even know what I'm asking for gods sake. I pray that God shows me the way to give me the strenght to find the answers and keep fighting or give up on an ideal that's outstayed it's welcome in the queer community.
In Other News
Remind me next time to speak of my dreams of Cory
Jhoeny, I miss you. I love your talking Fishes!
Kerra, Hope you're having fun in Flordia.
Bush, You Idiot.
Andrew, Tu es Mi Destino. Seré por siempre verdad.
Love you all.
First, I'm going to just fill in some stuff. Shawna and I had a long talk yesterday about her drug usage with Justin. And, honestly peeps, Shawna has this " You're not the boss of me " personality. But, yesterday, she actually listened. We talked about a lot of stuff and she started crying and all this. peeps, I think my blonde bimbo best buddy is finally TRUELY in love. She said she was going to talk to Justin about the drug stuff and life stuff. Apparently he's been wanting to quit the partying and settle down as well. So, hell, I might be able to be a maid of Honor soon. :-)
Well, I'm getting so weirded out at work. Ok, the first few weeks I noticed that there was one gay guy named Corey who I mentioned before. Now, I noticed, there are four. John, Chris, Corey, and Derrick and it's like, OMG, it's queer haven here. There are three ultra straight guys, but the rest are gay. And I've not told anyone that I'm gay except for John ( Not the gay one. There are two) So, I'm like, weirded out, but I still hate the place because they are all stereotypical queers. Lisp, Hip Shake, Eye roll, Ultra gay. And the breeders are all ultra breeders. Beer Gusuling, pussy loving, burping fart Straights. Then there's me. lmao. Bi boy with basically not personality characteristics whatsoever. Geez, I sound like dulsville. I'm just not the type of person to get all induvidualized at work. I mean, I'm there to do a job and leave. I'm nice and all, but yadda. Well, I broke the rule and John ( The str8 one) calls me up because he's in Summer 1 classes and he has the same course I just completed. So he had some question and I said I would help him. So, I tell him I'm bi. ( Don't ask how it came up because honestly Idon't know) So, he asked the dumbest question in the world. " Does Drinking cum make you like guys more" I didn't answer him. Yeah, so, um, yeah. Dumb breeders. :-D
Ooo, I forgot to tell you. I passed all my courses! I didn't think I would pass all of them but somehow I pulled it off. Yes I flirted more than usually with one particular professor, but that's besides the point. LOL. i'm sure it had no influence on my grade. I'm smart, that's all.
So, One issue I really wanted to discuss is my being an activist. I've been very conflicted and I wish I had Jhoeny here to help me figure some stuff out. Ok, Background: I've been very active in Gay Rights in Indiana and the world for that matter, but more locally than worldly. So, I've done a lot of speeches and all this and I've been so conflicted with myself recently. I've asked, what am I fighting for. The values that I have are to Fall in love, find that special someone, be married, have kids, spend my life with them foever and always. And I want this done legally weither it's with a man or a woman. So, conflict, let me count how many gay friends I have. Oh, one. Yay. And lets see, where do I feel more comfortable and feel as if I'm accepted more Str8 bar or Gay Bar. Oooo, Str8 bar. Okay, so let me say this right because i wish not to offend anyone. I meet a lot of gay peeps. At work, at school, over the net, at gay bars when I do go there. Just everywhere. I've yet to meet one that has the same ideals about love life and all that stuff. they all seem to want a fuck buddy, or an experiment or whatever. Even my only gay friend wants only this. OMG, I sound aweful, and I'm so sorry. It's not just the young guys I meet. it's all the older guys as well. None of them believe in monogamy and it's just so discouraging. So, I'm just conflicted on what I'm fighting for. Now, Lesbians, 90% of the ones I've meet have the same values as I do. TO find love and commitment and all that. I guess one can argue that I'm fighting for them which is fine by me. But, what's happened to the gay guys? I feel so hurt and let down. I've been called unrealistic for having these values and it hurts me so. It's my lifes work for these values and to see that queer majority wish not to see my value implimented makes me kind of ashamed and if any one knows me, they know how much it hurts for me to say that. Well, I don't know. I just wish I could get an answer to the question to which I have no knowledge of. I don't even know what I'm asking for gods sake. I pray that God shows me the way to give me the strenght to find the answers and keep fighting or give up on an ideal that's outstayed it's welcome in the queer community.
In Other News
Remind me next time to speak of my dreams of Cory
Jhoeny, I miss you. I love your talking Fishes!
Kerra, Hope you're having fun in Flordia.
Bush, You Idiot.
Andrew, Tu es Mi Destino. Seré por siempre verdad.
Love you all.