Life's TRUE Journey

Okay, so Cheri's ex boyfriend, Darryl, really wants hurt back. There were like high school sweethearts ever since middle school. Anyways, he keeps calling her and keeps comming around when Cheri and I are together, so I kinda threatened his life yesterday. Well, obviously it's working because he has left her alone since than. I don't know if he's plotting his next attack or what. Speaking of Cheri, she just walked in so I have to hurry this up. Rosie and I stopped talking to each other about a week or two ago because I had asked her if I could call her or have her call me. You know, we've been net buds for a very long time. Almost a year now. And she was like, "I can't trust you" But I was extreamly hurt because she let Dan, her other net buddy, turned boyfriend call her and mail her things and all that good stuff. But, I finally decided that I should let it go. I can't force her to do that. So, I called Andrew H. another net b...

Back to my pathetic life. Well there is some great news. After all this time, I finally have a girlfriend. Well, she has me. Her name is Cheryl Austin. I call her Cheri Silver. We clicked right away. She's not a lot like me. She's kind of an alternative person. She has the two green streaks in her hair. She loves banging stuff (not like that) . It's feeling good right now (not that). The relationship thingy. We started dating on the 3rd of this month. We are really getting to know each other. And no, we have not "done it" The only problem I am having right now is with her ex boyfriend. He's a total dick. More about him later. Other News: Rosie and I aren't talking ever agai. My health is very much improving. I'm sleepy.

Okay, lets get caught up on my life. First, I must make a retraction. This is a very hard thing for me to do. My friend Scott, died, as previously stated, and for all these weeks, I didn't really know what happened. Well, kids, I had it thrown in my face today. SUICIDE Thiis upset me terribley. I really do not wish to pay tribute to someone who took a cowards way out. I mean, I loved him. He was my friend. But to pay tribute to him would be like telling myself that everything I stand for doesn't matter in the end, and I feel it does matter in the end what you lived for and what you died for. And if Scott, basically saying that he doesn't love himself, took his life, I think it just shows he was never the person that I knew. I really feel great anger twords him right now. Ugh, maybe this really isn't the time for this. I will trying to talk mosr about this later. Sorry.

Lives were taken in an instant. Our sense of security lost in seconds. This is just a small percentage of the words that are shouting in my head about the tragic events of September 11th, 2001. By now, we all know what happened. I am deeply saden by the events that took place. It makes this little diary thing seem so silly and not worth the effort. I felt that what I say here was absoulet. My ranting and raving about what I like and what I don't like seems almost pathetic compare to the emotions of lots and lots of people at these trying times. But then I started to remeber what all my friends taught me. That is the love of yourself. It's what has kept me going for so long. I feel this "blog" is a way to put a piece of myself out there for other to see. I feel that everything I do is a part of me, therefore everything I do is something worth while. So, eventhough I'm going to continue to do my blog and rant and rave about the small things i...

I've had the Flu for about a week, so I haven't been able to really concentrate on writting in here. But I'm back. Todays worry is about getting old. I'll tell you what brought this on. A good internet friend of mine asked me to call him. Well, I didn't call but I did do this voice thingy with MSN messenger. So, I said hello to him and he started telling me that I sound like an old person. This, of course, hurt my feelings because everything hurts my feelings. Then, later that same day, Doug called me ugly. Well, we were playing around, I said to him, "God your a stupid booze drinking small dick loser" and then he in turn said, "You're a ugly 50 cent slut" and I took it to heart. God, I'm so stupid sometimes. I went and cried. I think I need some anti-depressants. I think I'm in depression but I don't know. I still have a totally high self esteem, and I like to get out and all that. It's that I'm way ...

My official statement on Scott's death: I feel so out of place talking about Scott because we weren't as good of friends as we could have been in the end. But, I truely do miss him. I've shed tears, and tried to understand why, but I think it's just not for me to understand right now. I knew Scott thru different hair colors and different hair styles. He laughed at my dumb jokes. Scott was a good person all around. Though he dressed different than the "popular people", I seen him for who he was. He was a really great guy. He will be missed by me and everyone that truely knew him. I'll pray for the family, and his fiancee. I'm sorry. We lost one of the good guys already. May peace be with him. Thomas.

Scott Leroy Eilert 19, Indianapolis, died Aug. 19. He was a graduate of Decatur Central High School. He was a clerk two years at the Marsh store on Kentucky Ave.. Previously, he was a clerk at the Kroger store at Mann. Rd. Memorial Services; 5 p.m. Aug 25 in the home of his father, Vance L. Eilert, with calling from 3 to 7. Other survivors; Sisters Leslie Kottlowski, Julie, Robin Eilert; Fiancee Christina Perkins. Alpha Funeral Service is handling arrangments.

Okay, a lot has happened. I found out the girl I used to be in love with, Brandie, is about to get married to the jerk I can't satnd, James K. And Guess what, I'm invited to the friggin wedding. Ughhhhhhhhhh. Brandie and I have know each other for about two years, and she's known him about a year. Yet she isn't "allowed" to talk to me for extended periods of time, nor is she allowed to go to lunch with me like we used to. It's like, man, wow, he's in control, eh? He's 26 and she's 19. Ew. So, the wedding is tommorow, Saturday the 25th, at 1 pm. So, then I found out a couple of days ago, a friend of mine died. His name was Scott. I put the ad that was in the newspaper in the blog. I was good friends with him in middle school, but we kinda lost touch in high school. It totally sucks. I cried and laughed, and cried. His funeral is at 5pm tomorrow, saturday 25. The same day I found out about scott, I locked my keys in my car ...

Okay, hey people. I hate you all. Anyways, I made a new friend, Amanda Y. That makes like 50 friends of mine named Amanda. Anyways, the first time I introduced her to Doug, the one I mentioned earlier, it was love at first sight. Or, lust. Anyways, they made plans for later that night. By plans, teens usually mean we will do it in your mom's car. Which is totally sick. But hey, the nexty day that's exactly what Amanda told me what happened. Then she goes on to say things like, "Little man, inch worm, 3 minutes and out" I was like, very amused by this. I learned so much about my two new friends. I haven't seen doug around. I hope it didn't kill him. I really don't approve of all this sex, but I love hearing about it. OMG, what the hell am I saying. Let me go.

Okay, I totally love Dr. Ruth. Anyways, my new friend Doug who is 17, dark hair and brown eyes. Slender build glasses and kinda pasty; Got upset with me for no reason. I was like, ugh. But he tried hard to make it up to me, but after trying he just decided to go home. I love him, but damn. I know exactly why this is happening though. His Grandmother dies a few days ago and apparently they were close. I didn't know here because like I said I'm just getting to know him. So, I'm going to type him a letter or something. He is very nice though. Anyways, new subject, What the hell is wrong with Sean William Scott (American Pie 1+2) . With that beard and mustache. Can we say, ewwwwwww?!?!??!! Alrighty, I have to catch some ZZZZZ's. Love you all. Bye.

I didn't really get enough information, but I think that George W. Bush said support the steam cell research stuff. If he did, he just got some big points with me. Okay, so I'm a total political whore. So what. This is important to me because politics are what decided things about all of our lives and we should be there knowing what's going on. Okay.

Oh, and about that Coke thing from a few months ago. I do take that back. I love Cherry Coke. Opps. Sorry Coke people. I know your stock dropped since I said that. I hope this boost it up a bit.

I'm thinking about this virginity thing even more. I narrowed it down to six of my friends. Well, let me take that back; Six friends and two online people who want to meet in a Fancy Hotel for a romantic week. I'm like, ugh, someone just take me. I asked all my friends if they would, and most of them said stuff like, "Yeah, if it's something you really really want to do. I would rather it be with me or another one of your friends instead of a stranger or a net perv." I love them all so much. I mean, only true friends would say that. Even some of my guy friends said that, and I'm like, wow. I just don't know.

I just wanted to jot down a few things I totally hate. : George W. Bush, Big Brother 1 and 2. Men. Women. Aaron Carter. N'SYNCs new album which I stupidly bought. Rain Forest Body Lotion. People who call when you are sleeping. People who call when you're in the bath. People who call just to say, "What's up Tommy? Nothing going on here". You homophobic pricks out there. Oh, and did I mention Aaron Carter. Eww. Wow, that was fun. Bye

Okay, about the Virginity thing. I am a virgin, for the most part. You know, I've done a lot of oral stuff and hand stuff and stuff stuff. Hee hee hee. But, you know, I never did you know what. I have many options to do so, but I was raised in a way that it's supposed to be special. But I think I should just do it already. I mean, this is life. And, like a previously stated, I'm horny as hell. And I want the chance to experience something new. Ugh

Hey, someone let me know something. Is loosing your virginity such a big deal?

So, it's been a few months. I know. Life has been a total bitch recently. I'm horny beyond beliefe (Yes, even we get horny), I've lost 10 pounds. I know, people might think that is a good thing, But my doctor says it's not. My mom has to have surgery because of a gull bladder situation whatever the hell that is. Dyed my hair to a lighter level of strawberry blonde. I like it. I went shopping, so that took about two weeks. I got some really neat things this time. More assessories than norms. Rosie and I aren't talking. Shawna and I aren't talking. I have one hundred guys hitting on me. I have ten thousand girls hitting on me. But, no one wants to talk before we get down and dirty. I had to go to the hospital for exhaustion. That was shopping week. I take fashion way too seriously. I've had to go to party after party after party. So many parties, to where you just want to go home so bad and get on the internet and go to sleep. Never tho...

Blah blah blah. Boring day. Totally sucks. George W. Bush sucks. Ummmm, I'm going to bed. I have a Tennis match tomorrow.

Rosie and I made up today. Never thought we wouldn't. She wrote me a totally sweet email. I love her so much in a friendship kind of way. She is still VERY CHILDISH though. I'm so honest.

OMFG, you will never guess what happened. My friend, Shawnia, who is a high classed high style friend of mine just told me that she started going out with one of my enemies, Desmond that is a black ghetto drug using gang banger who I hate with a passion. So, I started to talk to her about it, and she just says "It's my choice" I mean, OMG, why. He's a total freak. Why why why!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? So, I'm not going to talk to her much anymore. If she wants that kind of life, fine.