I'm thinking about this virginity thing even more. I narrowed it down to six of my friends. Well, let me take that back; Six friends and two online people who want to meet in a Fancy Hotel for a romantic week. I'm like, ugh, someone just take me. I asked all my friends if they would, and most of them said stuff like, "Yeah, if it's something you really really want to do. I would rather it be with me or another one of your friends instead of a stranger or a net perv." I love them all so much. I mean, only true friends would say that. Even some of my guy friends said that, and I'm like, wow. I just don't know.
It was an impulse thing. For weeks before my grand gesture of driving to North Carolina I was having pretty much a mental break down. A very grim dentist appointment, loneliness , attachment to things that could never be mine, weight gain, the pressure of business, taking care of an elderly paRant. At one point I just stood in the middle of a room not know where to go literally and figuratively . All of a sudden an opportunity popped up for me to go and I did. Anyone who knows me know I'm not an impulsive person but I just had to do this. To clear my head, to refocus myself. I can get into the details on the trip at a later time. I want with this entry to focus on a single aspect. The thoughts that came to me while driving through the great mountains of this United States and the feelings . I looked out onto the greatness of this land and the beauty it possess and I thought of some things. Deep things. ...