Hi. Yeah, whatever. So, I was a total ass to Kerra to night and I want to kick my own ass. I'm so stupid. I don't knw if it's because of what happened last night, but I lashed out at one of the most sincere and loving persons I have in my pathtic life.
Well, I better tell you what happened last night. Okay, my stupid dumbass plan was to finally admit to a friend of mine that I was ready to , you know, take the plunge. Get a cake to baking. RIght after COry and I had all our little (ha) break up, this friend asked me out and I refused because, damn, I just lost the love of my life. SO, yeah, I finally said that I am now willing, and I was so dumped and rejected. Then, I was left at the mall all by my lonesome at the stupid movies and with a big thing of pop corn and no one to share it with. So, I started to go home, but instead, like a fucking idiot, I stopped at a fag hangout and this older guy hit on me, and he was drunk and he starts grabbing at me and shit and I yelled some innappropriate things, then they ask me to leave. Yes, me. I said faggot, like a dumbass. I guess I'm a homophobe now. But, that was hamiliating. SO, I get home, mixed me some green apple martini's and just crashed ALONE. SO, I guess that is my explination for why I treated Kerra the way I did, but it's not an excuse. I'm stupid.
So, anyways, I don't know what I'm going to do now. I was stupid this morning and I got really down and made myself vomit after I ate a big breakfast. I know, I shouldn't do that. I have previous issues with blahfucking blah. But, I wasn't in my right mind, and shit just came back. I wasn't feeling great about myself at all and that's how I used to help myself. Yeah, so, I think I'm going to go to bed now. Later kids. I'll update next Sunday. I guess between then, Kerra will either never talk to me again, or get Jason to beat me up. I deserve whatever she is wish to give me.
Well, I better tell you what happened last night. Okay, my stupid dumbass plan was to finally admit to a friend of mine that I was ready to , you know, take the plunge. Get a cake to baking. RIght after COry and I had all our little (ha) break up, this friend asked me out and I refused because, damn, I just lost the love of my life. SO, yeah, I finally said that I am now willing, and I was so dumped and rejected. Then, I was left at the mall all by my lonesome at the stupid movies and with a big thing of pop corn and no one to share it with. So, I started to go home, but instead, like a fucking idiot, I stopped at a fag hangout and this older guy hit on me, and he was drunk and he starts grabbing at me and shit and I yelled some innappropriate things, then they ask me to leave. Yes, me. I said faggot, like a dumbass. I guess I'm a homophobe now. But, that was hamiliating. SO, I get home, mixed me some green apple martini's and just crashed ALONE. SO, I guess that is my explination for why I treated Kerra the way I did, but it's not an excuse. I'm stupid.
So, anyways, I don't know what I'm going to do now. I was stupid this morning and I got really down and made myself vomit after I ate a big breakfast. I know, I shouldn't do that. I have previous issues with blahfucking blah. But, I wasn't in my right mind, and shit just came back. I wasn't feeling great about myself at all and that's how I used to help myself. Yeah, so, I think I'm going to go to bed now. Later kids. I'll update next Sunday. I guess between then, Kerra will either never talk to me again, or get Jason to beat me up. I deserve whatever she is wish to give me.