Okay, lets get caught up on my life. First, I must make a retraction. This is a very hard thing for me to do. My friend Scott, died, as previously stated, and for all these weeks, I didn't really know what happened. Well, kids, I had it thrown in my face today. SUICIDE Thiis upset me terribley. I really do not wish to pay tribute to someone who took a cowards way out. I mean, I loved him. He was my friend. But to pay tribute to him would be like telling myself that everything I stand for doesn't matter in the end, and I feel it does matter in the end what you lived for and what you died for. And if Scott, basically saying that he doesn't love himself, took his life, I think it just shows he was never the person that I knew. I really feel great anger twords him right now. Ugh, maybe this really isn't the time for this. I will trying to talk mosr about this later. Sorry.
It was an impulse thing. For weeks before my grand gesture of driving to North Carolina I was having pretty much a mental break down. A very grim dentist appointment, loneliness , attachment to things that could never be mine, weight gain, the pressure of business, taking care of an elderly paRant. At one point I just stood in the middle of a room not know where to go literally and figuratively . All of a sudden an opportunity popped up for me to go and I did. Anyone who knows me know I'm not an impulsive person but I just had to do this. To clear my head, to refocus myself. I can get into the details on the trip at a later time. I want with this entry to focus on a single aspect. The thoughts that came to me while driving through the great mountains of this United States and the feelings . I looked out onto the greatness of this land and the beauty it possess and I thought of some things. Deep things. ...