Okay, lets get caught up on my life. First, I must make a retraction. This is a very hard thing for me to do. My friend Scott, died, as previously stated, and for all these weeks, I didn't really know what happened. Well, kids, I had it thrown in my face today. SUICIDE Thiis upset me terribley. I really do not wish to pay tribute to someone who took a cowards way out. I mean, I loved him. He was my friend. But to pay tribute to him would be like telling myself that everything I stand for doesn't matter in the end, and I feel it does matter in the end what you lived for and what you died for. And if Scott, basically saying that he doesn't love himself, took his life, I think it just shows he was never the person that I knew. I really feel great anger twords him right now. Ugh, maybe this really isn't the time for this. I will trying to talk mosr about this later. Sorry.
Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of ...