Life's TRUE Journey

7:09:40 AM EST Feeling Mischievous Hearing Justin Timberlake   Politics are Pouring Lalala.  Ok, hi.  So, some stuff has been happening.  I'm not gonna whine or whimper about it all.  Or maybe I should.  LOL.  i dunno.  Well, my last living blood grandmother had a stroke a couple of weeks ago.  So, we went down there  (Georgia) for a weekend and it was so emotionally draining for me.  Don't worry, she's doing very well.  Still has a problem with speech, but it's not servere.  So, like, we came back up to  Indianapolis, and the next weekend, my mom was like, "Lets go".  I told her that I couldn't, so she jumps down my throat and says that I'm a non caring bastard, but I couldn't fight back.  i had too much going thru my head.  If that wasn't enough, I found out this week that my only other grandmother (  Who is actually Josh's grandmother, but like I previously said, his family lov...

wow.. Artist. One out of every two people think they're an artist in some way shape or form. You non-conformists are all alike. Your mark on society brought to you by

Feeling Sad Hearing hoobastank   Death do you Part I hate this world that you live in.  the word you have made for yourself.  Why did you include me in it.  My purpose on this earth is meaningless and yet you continue to entrap me to it.  Peeps, I'm tired.  I'm so angry right now.  Yet, at the same time I am so sad.  Tears stream down my face.  It's like the right eyeball is making waterworks for all the anger I feel and the total rage I have against society, people, myself.  But the left eyeball is making waterworks for all the sadness and dissappointment I have.  How is my life so screwed up right now?>  I've done everything right in my life.  It's not worth anything. The other day I was reading up on this serial Killer and somehow he amazed me.  Somehow, I got this sensation that if I were to be more like him, all this pain and dissappointment would go away.  Or I could at least channel it...

Feeling Flirtatious Hearing Tennis -Federer Vs Hewitt Tennis...The sport of Class Well, hello there. Wanna come over? I'm friggen horny. So, okay, I'm watching tennis which is now in a rain delay and having orgasms because Tennis is my favorite sport and, of course, I'm so in love with Paola Suarez. OMG, yummy! Also I'm in love with Roger Federer. OMG, how sexy is he?!?!?! Ok, I shouldn't watch tennis. lol. I mean, all tennis players are so sexy. Yeah, that's right, I play tennis. Ugh. I wanna get back into some competitions. I'm on the right track though. In June I lost 17 pounds, so I should start working on my serve a little more. Haven't been on a court in a while now. Sucks. Well, um, Antonio did call and yeah, we've been out on a few more dates. I don't think it's going anywhere unfortunatly. We have some different Ideals about things. I dunno. i don';t feel like talking about them right now. m...

Nemesis ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla

Feeling Frustrated Hearing Bjork- Pagan Poetry Dating, Defending, & Wives Wuddup Peeps in da hood. Hollar at your boy. Anyways, hi. Well, lets get right to it, shall we. Well, my first night about with Antonio was ok. We went to the Olive Garden, a place I had never been to. Just for a small dinner. Then, being the Margarita Junkie I am, I seen on the menu they had something called Italian Margaritas. So, I preceeded to order 25 of them. Hee hee hee. I got a little tipsy. He didn't have anything to drink, so that made it even more fun. So, I'm telling him my whole lif story on our first, I guess you can call it, date. So, the night ended with a big hug and I was happy. So, our second , well, date, we went to see the Stepford Wives after we has a few drinks ( Two Apple Martinis for me) at a queer bar. So, the movie may have seemed better that it actually was, but I was laughing my ass off. OMG, Bette Midler is so great. In the movie, the Ste...

Feeling Hopeful Hearing I just want to Fly _by Sugar Ray Long weeks. Rest needed. Hello Peeps. Okay, lets get to it. I've been so BUSY ever since Josh got here on the 28th of May. Just in case you don't know who Joshua is, here's a quick history. we meet when we were in highschool. I was a freshman, he a sophmore. We dated all during high school. We went our seperate ways when he cheated on me with his childhood friend, Amber, just before graduation. Then she got pregnant just from that one time, and yadda yadda. Well, bridge under the water and we keep in contact. Well, he moved to Ohio and he visits sometimes because all his family is here in Indianapolis. Well, I had the pick up duties and I picked him and Joseph ( His son) up and took them to Josh's mom's house . Like, every hour from that point, he called every 30 minutes wanting to go somewhere. And, me being nice, I took him. We went to see some great bands and all that. He s...

HEY, I AM NOW ALSO POST AT MY AOL JOURNAL. IT'S THE SAME JOURNAL AND NOTHING IS CHANGED EXCEPT THAT ON THIS BLOG, YOU CAN SEE THE QUIZ RESULTS I TAKE AND ON AOL YOU CAN SEE THE PERSONAL PICTURE I POST, BUT ONE DOESNT DO THE OTHER. YOU CHOOSE WHICH ONE YOU WANT MORE TO VIEW. HERE IS THE LINK TO THE AOL JOURNAL. journals.aol.com/thomasdimera/blog

Hey peeps. I'm tired and feeling really really sick, so I just want to post the E card I sent to Andrew. I wish I could somehow allow you peeps to see the whole card with the animations and mucis, but nooooooooo. Just the text. Well, later peeps. No update on my life right now. Just the card. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Hello Andrew. This may be Corny to you or stupid, but I just wanted to express a few things to you, so please take a little time out to read this. Andrew, I love you with all my heart, and I know it's an expression overused in today's society and I'm sorry if it doesn't truly express what I'm trying to convey to you. But, there's nothing more I can do. I hope you can trust me enough know to know that the words I say are true. You came to me when I was 16. I was a broken person in search for a lot of things in my life. You help me disco...

Sorry. Had to come on and say how much I think Laura Prepon from that 70s show ( She plays Donna ) looks to me so much like Gwyneth Paltrow since she dyed her hair Blonde. Am I the only one who thinks this?

Ok, this may be a long post. I'm not sure. I just have a few things to speak about. First, I'm going to just fill in some stuff. Shawna and I had a long talk yesterday about her drug usage with Justin. And, honestly peeps, Shawna has this " You're not the boss of me " personality. But, yesterday, she actually listened. We talked about a lot of stuff and she started crying and all this. peeps, I think my blonde bimbo best buddy is finally TRUELY in love. She said she was going to talk to Justin about the drug stuff and life stuff. Apparently he's been wanting to quit the partying and settle down as well. So, hell, I might be able to be a maid of Honor soon. :-) Well, I'm getting so weirded out at work. Ok, the first few weeks I noticed that there was one gay guy named Corey who I mentioned before. Now, I noticed, there are four. John, Chris, Corey, and Derrick and it's like, OMG, it's queer haven here. There are three ultra...

Aladdin! What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!) brought to you by Quizilla

Hey peeps. Tonight, my dumbass friends left without me and I'm pissed about that. Oh well. I'm missing my friend Jhoeny. She's going thru a lot of shit right now and is not able to get online and I'm missing the hell out of her. I can't speak with Kerra because she's down in Flordia. And Andrew isn't in the talking mod today . male PMS. So, I'm bored off my ass today. OMG, I was almost in another car wreck today. Jhoeny is gonna totally laugh when she hears this. It was due to the WLOPS Jhoeny. :-). So, i was driving and making a left hand turn and I seen this........... this............ Spider that just flew in the window. I'm driving and trying to blow this thing out of the window, but it kep webbing down. So, I end up on a grassy curve and blowing andfreaking and being dumb. LOL. I finally opened my burger king cup and covered it. I let Dan release itwhen I got to his house. Am I crazy? Don't answer that. We...

Gay Bear Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by Quizilla

Hello. Is anyone here. Oh hi, it's Tommy D. Okay, so,let me update. that last post was a very honest and frank representation of how I was feeling. I felt like total crap that day. But, like always with the aid of good friends like Kerra, Andrew, Jhoney, and Dan, I was able to overcome a big bigstorm. Noticibly missing from that is Shawna. Ugh. Shawna. She's doing stupid stuff now. Justin, god bless him, but he is a drug user and he has her thinking it's no big deal that she is following in his footsteps. Ugh to to. It's hard talking to her now. I don't know how I will handle the situation with Shawna. I wish to be there for her, but right now I'm dealing with my own shit. So, I've completed another school semister. Yay for me I guess. Kinda sucked. In fact, I think it was the worst semister I had had. Started bad with the car accident. Ended with me watching my big crush get away from me and with health scares. In between all t...

Jhoeny, Kerra, Andrew, Cheryl, Cory, Andrew, Cole, Dan, Mikah, Steve, Violet, Chris, Rosie, Britney Spears.

I mean, damnit, I'm nice. I don't murder, I don't hurt people for the joy of it. I love everything I come in contact with and I learn from everyone. I understan dpeeps and I show compassion for every fucking thing that I do. then I see criminals and drug addicts and murderers and racist, sexiest homophobic people get reward for doing nothing. Why is it so unbalenced in this fucking world. It's stupid. I continue to do good and get set back so many fucking times I can't even bare it anymore. I'm fucking loosing everything and the forementioned people are on top. God put me here for a reason, but I don't think I can help this world anymore. It's gone. it's done. i'm loosing faith and I'm the last person to do that, so I

Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of ...

Hey. Okay, I'm blogging again. So, I have this new friend, Jhoeny, and she's a super sweet girl and she show such strength with certain things that she's gone thru in her life. She's an instant friend to me. Kerra is a little standoffish twords her for some reason. Kerra is just my weird little girl. I totally lover her. So, okay, stupid people should be shot and dumped in a river. Ooooo Tommy, don't say that. I'm horny. There. I'll say that instead. Well, I spoke with Andrew H last night. He improved my mood a lot. I'm still in deep depression though. But I always feel better when I speak with him. No one can tell me that I wasn't destined to be with him. I was, I promise. But it's jsut circumstances that keep me from him and that fucking sucks. In fact, I'm about to make an offical declairation. Cory wasn't the love of my life. It was always Andrew H. I was thinking would I leave Andrew H for Cory,...

Hey Kids. Tommy D Signing in. So, depression has spread of course. Sucks ass. Didn't want to be like this. Aaron and Mike are really intense. Mine and Aaron's mutual friend, Sarah tells me all this stuff aboutthem. It should have been me. Oh well. So, went out with Shawna and others tonight and just got even more bummed. It's so easy for someone people to just meet someone. And it's like, I'm always the third wheel in all situations. Or is it fifth whell? Whatever the hell it is, I'm it. So, ok. Anyways. Sorry, I can't keep my train of thought tonight. I've had a couple of Apple martinis and a blue margarita. Never had a blue margarita before. It was great. Still ddn't drown the deep feelings of hate, hurt, misfortune and all I feel inside. Yeah yeah. I haven't shaved in a while, so I actually am starting too look like a serial killer. I'm just glad Istill bathe. Oooo fucking great, I feel a cold comming...