Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of love. I follow how to care about other people and I'm just so tired of getting nothing in return. I don't be nice because I want something in return, but damn already. I see all these people who deserve nothing in life, get everything, and I'm stuck with nothing at all. Nothing at fucking all!!!!!!!
Your mom and I would make an excellent couple. You think she would strap on and do me hard wh enever I want her to? Yay. Hey. For all of those people who are looking at my AOL journal, I know it seems as if I did not post Sunday, but I did. Well, I posted at my blogger journal because my AOL won't load. They are having some difficulties or something and I can't wait until they fix. I will be going to bed after posting on the blogger blog, and I will just have to copy to the AOL journal tomorrow. Hopefully they'll have things fixed. MISSING YOU: I've been having such a rough time recently, and I swear that not having Jhoeny to talk to has been a major part of the reason. My dominican lover ( Jhoeny that is. Not her mom who is my Dominican Dominatrix) has been off and we haven't been able to speak. :( I can't even write her a letter because she's no longer at her old address that I have and she hasn't written me yet with her new address. I was crying Frid...