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Yeah. Hey kids. So, yeah, I have some stuff to chat about.
Aaron did eventually come by and he informedme things were getting serious with him and Mike and he would have to break off all other sexual and emotion relationships with other peeps. Okay, here's a few quotes from Aaron.
" This is so hard for me with you because a month ago I thought you would be the one..."
" Tommy, are you ok? You know I care too much for you not to be ok."
" I will never regret what you allowed to me have. I realize how important it was to you. Thank you for that"

Yeah, so, that's just three of the quotes. So, yes, we did make love on last time. Sounds like one of those cheesy romance novels don't it? Yeah, it's a totally different thing when it really happens. I figured that I won't be with anyone else for a long time, so I might as well have one last time with the man that took my heart and my virginity. I know , I know. I said no it wouldn't happen, but you just had to be there to understand.

I wasn't too broken up about it until the other day I seen Aaron and Mike at Circle Center Mail. That was arkward. I was there with my niece and he and Mike walk by and my niece says hi to him, and they said hi. And she wanted to strike up a convo, but Aaron and mike got out of it by seeming to be in a rush to get somewhere. Then, that night, I went home, and I just burst into tears. I mean, it was like, I couldn't stop crying. I want to be happy for Aaron though, but I don't know.

So, I stayed up all that night looking at his picture and a letter he wrote to me when we were first going out. I also looked at my memories book. Looking at pictures of my grandmother and my friends from high school. I guess I was enducing depression upon myself. I swear, I literally cried for 4 hours straight. I mean, the area below my eyes were swollen and it hurt just to touch it. That's how much I cried that night. So, I didn't go to school for a whole week. I don't know, I've just been soooooooooooo down. I hate feeling this way. I mean, I was doing so great up to the point I actually seen them together.

So, I don't know what else to type about. I hope Cole dies of a heart attack because he's such a dick. I've never meet someone who's friends have to be based on superficial things like, um, seeing them when you talk to them. But, I'm not focusing on that piece of crap.

Kerra is an ass. I try to understand and comprimis with her. I aks her to do one little thing for me, and she blows it off like I'm not shit to her. All the nights I've stayed up for her. All the times I helped her with her countless loser boyfriends. And I ask for a little something that could be done in less than 2 minutes, and she can't give me that. Oh well.

My family is stupid. I hate everyone only caring for themselves.

I got a job after 7 months of not even caring if I had one or not. All I can say is it sucks already.

I don't know about my life right now. It's stupid. It's like, friends are not here for me. Shawna, Andrew, Dan, Patty, Peggy, Kelly, JOSH. None of them are availible.

Yeah, and that guy i liked in my class, I hate him. :-) Ok, I don't know why, it's like " Why has this jerk off not asked me out yet" I'm stupid I know. I guess it's that part of depression where the things you like and enjoyed are no longer appealing to you. Yeah yeah. Oooo, and there's this girl in the same class I'm pissed off at for not asking me out. Geez, what the hell is wrong with me.

Oh well. Free Martha. I love you all. I guess I'll be alright. Who knows, maybe I'll go to sleep and not wake up. I'll try not to. But, God loves playing the same trick everymorning. I feel like Kevin Spacey's character in my favorite movie, American Beauty. He wakes up with a frown, goes jerk off in the shower and says that's the high point of his day. it's down hill from there. I think I'll go watch my movie and cry some more. Bye all.

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Hey, someone let me know something. Is loosing your virginity such a big deal?