Skip to main content
Hello. Is anyone here. Oh hi, it's Tommy D.
Okay, so,let me update. that last post was a very honest and frank representation of how I was feeling. I felt like total crap that day. But, like always with the aid of good friends like Kerra, Andrew, Jhoney, and Dan, I was able to overcome a big bigstorm.
Noticibly missing from that is Shawna. Ugh. Shawna. She's doing stupid stuff now. Justin, god bless him, but he is a drug user and he has her thinking it's no big deal that she is following in his footsteps. Ugh to to. It's hard talking to her now. I don't know how I will handle the situation with Shawna. I wish to be there for her, but right now I'm dealing with my own shit.

So, I've completed another school semister. Yay for me I guess. Kinda sucked. In fact, I think it was the worst semister I had had. Started bad with the car accident. Ended with me watching my big crush get away from me and with health scares. In between all that, Aaron Leaving, confusion with friends, starting of a new job which I totallly hate, but Damn my father, he taught me never to quit so I have this drive to continue on. Yeah, weight gain this semister as well. Blame it partially on the accident because I have been in such pain, in all honesty, and can't really work out like I wish to.

So, yeah, to J, whereever you are, yes, I'm with the negative today. There's nothing really positive. My mother is accusing me of being an achololic, and it's really pissing me off. I may have an Apple martini, or a blue martini every now and thenwhen I get home because Dan taught me how to mix them. But, I'm never drunk and I don't know where she getsoff telling my family down in georgia and here in Indiana that I drink too much. I do not. She's such a gossiping asswipe.

Well, to the more recent stuff, te other day I was so friggen horny. It's weird. I think someone slipped me one of those drugs that make you extremely horny. Everyone I came in contact with, I wanted to hump. Yay.

So, tonight was a weird long night. I stayed on the internet all day long. Dan came early and entertained me with playstation for 30 minutes before he had to leave, and Shawna and I aren't really talking. Aaron's cell has been on voicemail all dan. Guess I could have called COry. Yeah, uh huh. Cory. He's been calling recently. I wonder is it because I had a one night fling with him.
( DUM DUM DUM DUM)
Ok, shut up. The weekend my mom went to Georgia, he called and he was justwondering what was happeening. So, I invited him over because al my friends decided they had something more important do. And we were talking and getting drunk ( Shut up mom) and well, I don't know. It was like we were talking about how we never had sex. And he complimented me on my ability to , um, us my mouth and it was just so stupid. I said since I no longer had my virginity, what's the use in nt doing it. I'm lonely and Aaron is somewhere fucking Mike. So, I did. And Cory, much bigger than Aaron in the package department, hurt me like crazy. I was in pain for a week. Yeah, Aaron seemed to be the perfect anatomy match for me. (big dumb sigh) I don't know why I allow myself to do that. So, yeah, Cory wants to do it again, but since that night, I've just avoided his calls totally. It's stupid. I don't love him anymore. i was just feeling so lonely that night. Stupid friends.

So, tonight, I convinced Kerra to let this totally nice guy call her. She's all like, "I'm with Jason blah" . It's time t get rid of that loser in all honesty. I'm fed up with him verbally abusing her. I would rather her be with the other Jason, or this new guy. But, yeah, that's my good deed today. I got her talking with him and hopefully there's a big spark and she leaves loser Jason.

Jhoeny told me she would get in contact with me tonight. Hmmm. I guess I'll have to kick her ass.

Oooo, and I sent Andrew H. with card and a long letter with it pouring my heart out to him. I will post it next time. I love him so much.

Well, I better get some sleep. It's hot as hell in this place.
In Other News
My Room. Someone, help! It's bad.
Thomas Williams Hernandez.
SOunds good, eh?
Wonder what Rosie is up to.
Um, Amber won survivor. Booooooooooooo
Friends went off. So what!?!?!?!
Frasier (crys) now that's a show.
Thanks Brandon for the card.
Love you all.

Popular posts from this blog

Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of ...

Mountains

  It was an impulse thing. For weeks before my grand gesture of driving to North Carolina  I was having pretty much a mental break down. A very grim dentist appointment, loneliness , attachment  to things that could never be mine, weight gain, the pressure  of business,  taking care of an elderly  paRant. At one point I just stood in the middle of a room not know where to go literally  and figuratively . All of a sudden an opportunity  popped up for me to go and I did.  Anyone who knows me know I'm not an impulsive  person but I just had to do this. To clear my head, to refocus myself.  I can get into the details on the trip at a later time. I want with this entry to focus on a single aspect. The thoughts that came to me while driving through the great mountains of this United States and the feelings .  I looked out onto the greatness  of this land and the beauty  it possess and I thought of some things. Deep things. ...
Oh Hi. Ok, so, my cat died. He was 70 in kitty years. It's kinda sad. Who am I kidding, it was a lot of sad. It's so weird after living with someone for 10 years of your life, the next day they are just gone. Of course, I can hear you dumbasses out there saying "Oh it's just a cat" but it's not. HE was my cat, and his name was Booger damnit. Ok, well, i've also been pissed off at another situation. Well, I have/had a friend, Kelly, who I've been friends with for a while now. Now, I knew before hand she had a problem with racism. Well, had a problem with the words. So, ok, i guess i learned to ignore the n word she sometimes uses because she, i thought, didn't mean it in an offensive way. But the other day, i guess i finally got pissed. I walk up behind kelly talking to her friend and her friend's little girl. Kelly said " ... this nigger was dancing up on me at the club..." Her friend started signaling her to be ...