Life's TRUE Journey

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Feeling Angry Hearing Marcy's Playground- Sex and Candy On Again, Off Again Yeah, whatever. So, we need to talk. Did you forget something?: So, it's friday morning and Kevin wakes up with me in his arm (awww, how romantic) and he tells me the plan for the day. I worked friday from 8am-5pm and he was going in at his job at 6pm until around 2am. So, he comes up with the ideal that maybe I should come down to the club with him right after I get off work. I had an outfit at his apartment, so he would pick me up from work and we go, um, do things at his apartment, then head to the club and I would hang around and I would help them close down and shit and then Kevin and I would leave and do more things. lol. Well, to cut it short, Kevin didn't show up at my job. So, I waited until 6, and still no Kevin. So, yeah, it was storming and shit and I was worried that maybe something happened to my man. Esspecially since he wasn't answering his cell. So, I finally just go home and I...

Feeling Flirtatious Hearing Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning Picture This Yes, this Suday update thing works for me so well. Like a week end review. I'm so great. Well, lets get to it! Hats Off to The Sis: So, happy birthday to my dear sister "L"! The big 33. Holy crap, talking about old. I'm glad I'm still 16 and have my whole life ahead of me. (Giving the evil-eye to any doubters of the last statement) Foto? ¿que Foto?: So, a month or so ago, well.. Damn, I don't wanna tell you people. Well, I'm contracted to. So, Kevin and I are both adults and he has a penis. Well, Kevin and I enjoyed adult sexual activities. Yes. OMG, yes. The best. You can hear more about that below. But, anyways, one night we were both drinking ( Blame the Booze) and we took a few photos of our, um, activities and the results of that activities. (Use your damn imagination). So, I'm at work and my boss lady whips out her camera phone (How much do I hate those thi...

Feeling Hopeful Hearing Switchfoot- Dare you to Move Reflections. Welcome to the planet. Welcome to Exsistance. Everyone's here. I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself off from the floor. I dare you to move like today never happened,today never happened before. Welcome. You see, as promised I'm updating. I think I will just sat aside every sunday to update. Sundays are free for me. Sex Should Stop : So, Kevin has been over more often. Remember how I made this whole big deal about not having sex because he and I, um, broke up. Yeah. Well, apparently it's not a big deal anymore. It's weird, peeps. Kevin is just this fluffy big guy with such a big heart and to resist him is like so hard because, I've come to realize that I'm all he has right now. I found out from his friend, Kiana (lovez her), that I was like the first boyfriend boyfriend Kevin had ever had. Like, he had guys who would fuck around with him but not many. But they weren...

Feeling Quiet Hearing Watching the Amazing Race And yet, I still stand The hills are alive with the ound of me kicking your butt. So, hey. Yeah, I decided to take a break. This will be a very messy entry but you know you have to be weird to be reading it anyways. So, ok, I guess I'll just go at this humorously. Subject to start each paragraph. Alrighty. George Bubbyah: Still dislike you strongly. Thank you though for trying to save Terri Shraviol's life though. You would think with the way I was keeping up on this case, I would have learned her name. It sucks how people handled this though. I'm a pro lifer. Yeah, A gay liberal prolifer. And they say I'm complicated! Being a prolife, i felt that Terri should be kept alive and God would make the choice when she was to go. No man nor machine would prevent God from calling his angel. But, when they made the choice to kill Terri, that was not right. Not just to kill her, but to starve her to death for 14 f...

Feeling Anxious Hearing Nothing Just something to think about I just wanted to post something for you all to think about. I will update later this week. Promise. "In Germany, the Nazis first came for the Communists, and I didn't speakup because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, but I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one leftto speak up for me." - Martin Niemoeller, Berlin Lutheran pastor arrested by the Gestapo and sent to Dachau concentration camp in 1938; the Allied forces freed him seven years later. Written by thomasdimera

Feeling Quiet Hearing Tim McGraw- Live like you're dieing Disturbing Behavior Hello my fine feathered friends and foes. My heart aches so much recently. I;m in a funk. Damn it! Damn it all to hell. after work last night, I got so down that I invited James, a friend , over and just drank and drank and drank. I had about three margaritas. And then James convinced me to do str8 tequila shots. Um, bad idea. LOL. It was only the second time in my life where I actually forgot pieces of the evening. I'm just glad I don't get hang overs for some reason. James had a bitch of one. He passed out on the floor somehow and I somehow made it to my bed. Yay! Now I'm a drunk. Yippee. I don't know what's going on with me peeps. I know I've been doing a lot of changes. No longer chasing rainbows and butterflies. But, I'm chasing something. Talked with Andrew about our "relationship" and we had a pretty decent talk about things. It...

Feeling Anxious Hearing Jos Stone (Sp?) Gotta right to be wrong Horns DiMera Hey peeps. Gonna try to keep this one a positive post. But, you know me. It may not end up that way, but I try. Well, on the front burner, I went to Washington. Ran into some bad weather, but we made it there and back in great condition. The energy of the crowd was so powerful. I've try to explain it to people who asked how the trip went, but Somehow I couldn't. I can't put it into words. i mean, it changed me a lot. Ugh. I'm still fustrated right now trying to explain it all. I just can describe it. it was like this energy weither it's negative or positive going to this one man and, ugh. yadda. Anyways, great trip. Been rather busy since I got back. I'm not a full time activist. the guys that I went with have my phone number and email and all that and they are sending me events, demostrations, protest and all that so I can prepare. I'm going to be making a...

Feeling Angry Watching Mad TV Jackasses, bitches, and assholes So, ok, here's an update for you. Birthday: Three words. Hor ri ble . Chris called in the morning, and I chewed him out but he wasn't in the mood to hear me so he hung up. So, whatever. Andrew never said anything about it. So, I just said fuck it. Of course Kevin didn't mention it because he wasn't horny so he had no reason to acknowledge me the whole day. So, work was no better. Yes, working on my birthday. Who gives a shit. So, the one person I was looking forward to telling me happy birthday didn'ts. He walks thru the damn door, and I'm looking to him to say hi. Or Happy birthday. No. Jackass there says " You need to stop calling up here and hanging up" WTF! No happy birthday, no Hi Tommy. I didn't even know what the hell he was talking about! He says that I called , said my name, then hung up. Like, I have the IQ of a rock or something. Ugh. So, go...

Feeling Sad Hearing Air Supply Birth Of a King Well, it's my birthday. I don't think it's starting off well. Every birthday since forever, Chris has called me and would be the first to wish me a happy birthday,but Chris hasn't called. Well, shit. Jhoeny was the first to wish me a happy birthday which made me ok, but not great because it's upsetting that Chris still hasn't called an hour after. I called his cell and it's not on and he doesn't have a landphone. So, yeah, whatever I'm having a total PMS day. It's ok though. I will look n the positive side of things. I wish Andrew would remember my birthday, but theres no hope of that. I don't think I informed you of what's happening with him. Well, one night I tried to talk with him and he gets all irate and says he doesn't want to talk to me right now. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, or something to get my panties in a knot about, but this is conti...

Feeling Sad Hearing Hoobaskank (Ha) Reason 2004 Thanks You + Quick Update Hey. Ok, so I'm a day late. i'm sorry. Let me give a quick update. Things are not looking goof for me. Kevin is now on fuck buddy status and I hate that so much. i don't want a fuck buddy. He comes over, does his puppy eyes and starts to nibble. It's starting to feel like more of a chore. Granted, it great, but yeah. He doesn't even acknowledge me in public anymore. It's my own fault for allowing it to happen. I'm just not as strong as I used to be. It's very sad. All of my friends have been distant recently either because I've pushed them away, or that they pushed me away. That's why this years thank yous are extremly difficult. I mean, I can do it because I'm to think of the past year, 2004, and give thanks and remain positive. But, you will notice a few people missing from the list this year. I don't know, I hate doing this, but I fe...

1:04:47 AM EST Feeling Flirtatious Hearing Green Day QUICK NOTE Hey. Just wanted to let you all know, I will do my thank you tomorrow night. I've been busy with things but I haven't forgot. I'm still within the tie frame. So, tomorrow night, I'll have the thank yous post. Love you all and as always, God Bless. Written by thomasdimera

Ok, first off, don't you dare start yelling at me. I've been, like, way way more busy than you';ll ever know. And, to pour salt in the wound, this will have to be short because this is the forth annual repost of last years 3rd annual Thank You's. I know all of you were waiting for the thank yous. well, just like the previous three years ( damn I been doing this journal for too long. hee hee hee) I will post the current year's thank you on New Years Eve, New years Day, or up to three days after New Years day. So, check back again. So, Let me update with the current stuff. Geez, so much has happened. i had a boyfriend. His name is Kevin. He's the one I had a "fling" with earlier this year when my mother went out of town and i was totally depressed. Well, we declaired ourselves official, and that when shit just went down hill. I'd say about two weeks after we started offically dating, he was saying he loved me. I mean, he would honestly turn to me an...

Your a "Goth". People give you this nasty name called "goth" You just want to be loved like the rest of us. People don't accept you so you go into denile. Just remember to hang in there and things will get better. ^_^ What's your social status? brought to you by

Feeling Frustrated Hearing Celine Dion (Don't Laugh) My Lord, My Nation, My Self Hello and welcome to my Blog yet again. I have a few things to get to in this issue, so , please remain patient. This election season was so draining in all aspects. It makes me ill to know that I am in what is known as a red state ( More like redneck state if you ask me) . This election has caused me to be unlike myself. Arguing with friends, harassing, physically threatening 70 year old women, and so on. Yes, you heard me. This woman was talking shit at the mall the day after the election. The quote that I overheard her say was " Republican all that way. We can't have gays running this country" and being that I was so depressed as it is, I confronted her and she threatened me, so I said if she laid one hand on me, I would make sure her family finds her pieces all accross this state. Hey, shut up. I was depressed. She called for the stupid mall gaurds but by the time th...

4 :29:23 AM EST Feeling Sad No Update. No Talk This is a very sad time for America. I will not update my blog, nor will I share anything with anyone. I wish not to be bothered with anyone except those in the GLBT community because others are well intentioned, but they can not begin to understand what ths means for us. So, bye. I will leave you with a note Cheryl. Goodbye. First, I want thank you sincerely for your contributions of time, money, and spirit this year. Our community stood together stronger than ever before. With millions of Americans standing on the side of fairness, the fight for equality will go on. We suffered great losses and like all of you, we are deeply saddened by the results of yesterday's election. But let's not forget that we also secured key victories because of your dedication and commitment. In congressional races, Senators-elect Ken Salazar (D-CO) and Barak Obama (D-IL) and Representatives-elect Melissa Bean (D-IL) and Gwen Moore (D-WI...

5:29:26 AM EST Feeling Worried Hearing The Morning News Elect John Kerry The Day is upon us! The election is the biggest and most important in ones life time. I've done my research on all the canidates for President, and ALL the local offices and issues. I'm voting got 7 democrats, 2 republicans, and 1 libertarian this time. But the one I wish to point out is John Kerry! John will do right by this country. He has a clear plan on what he wants to do. He wants to united this country and also this world. Bush basically takes the stance that Unity is for fags. Well, I can't really update my blog right now. I've been running around campaining and yadda yaddaing. So, I will update tonight or tomorrow so I can celebrat the fact that John Kerry is our president and that Help is truly on the way. I love you all and God Bless. Written by thomasdimera

5:36:05 AM EST Feeling Quiet Hearing Lenny Kravitz Nights are lonely. Hello. Ok, so, yeah, I don't have much to say, but I'll speak. I know it seems as if all my entries recently have been negative. Sorry. I don't think in the 3 years I've been doing this journal have I had four negative post in a row. It sucks. Andrew: Andrew and I are having issues again. Andrew doesn't turn to me like he used to. I know something is going on with him, but he won't let me know what. So, that's upset me recently. Well, I can't talk much about him. I'll start crying again and I'm so sick of crying. I was pathetic last night. I was watching American Beauty and As Good as it Gets last night alone and just balling. I dunno. Would have been nice to have someone here with me. My friends are just not here at all. None of them. Sucks. I called Shawna and she was kinda a help, but she spoke to me all of 7 minutes and then had to tend to her fian...

I get No Respect As a kid we would have these little things about who you like and who you would want to meet. One of the top people I've wanted to meet is Rodney Dangerfield. I seen him on one of those late night talk shows when I was young, and I enjoyed his presence and though what he talked about I didn't understand ( I was young and his comedy has more of an adult theme as you may know). I've followed his career eversince. My thoughts are with his family, his loved ones, and the ones that "respected" him. I wanted to post some of his liners to pay tribute to his gift, and please, have a final laugh for Rodney. Rodney Dangerfield 1921-2004 RIP. Get the respect in heaven. September 19I'm trying a new diet now. The diet is Viagra and prune juice. I tell ya, I don't know if I'm coming or going. September 20People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - ...

Sucks to be Me Hey. I'm major depressed right now. Just, everything and stuff. I had such a horrible day and one one hand I don't even want to talk about it, but I have to because it's my life and I made a promise that I would share and try to reach out to people. but who am I kidding. No one I guess. Well, lets see, where do I begin? i have no friends. None. Well, none who are willing to be my friend when I need it. Dan, you say. No, he's not here. I find out that he's off catering to his ex girlfriend. The one who has cheated on him, dumped him, devalued him. And I try to talk to him about tonight on his phone, and for the first time since we've known each other, he snaps at me and says to mind my own business. But, yeah, I have no business. Shawna. I tried to talk to her, but she goes off and says that I call too much. Well, not exactly, but she made an off beat comment " You call me every 15 minutes anyways." So, whatever. I ...