Skip to main content
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing Switchfoot- Dare you to Move
Reflections.
Welcome to the planet. Welcome to Exsistance. Everyone's here. I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself off from the floor. I dare you to move like today never happened,today never happened before.

Welcome. You see, as promised I'm updating. I think I will just sat aside every sunday to update. Sundays are free for me.

Sex Should Stop: So, Kevin has been over more often. Remember how I made this whole big deal about not having sex because he and I, um, broke up. Yeah. Well, apparently it's not a big deal anymore. It's weird, peeps. Kevin is just this fluffy big guy with such a big heart and to resist him is like so hard because, I've come to realize that I'm all he has right now. I found out from his friend, Kiana (lovez her), that I was like the first boyfriend boyfriend Kevin had ever had. Like, he had guys who would fuck around with him but not many. But they weren't serious. And she basically laid out Kevins innerworkings to me while she was trying to convince me to get back with him officially. Should I? I mean, lets do a colume A and Colume B.

A------ All the Good things.
Sex is fantastic!!!!!!
He's a fantastic singer!
He's so soft on the inside and out.
He always praises me. I never feel uncomfortable around him
He's 100% faithful to the one he's with.
Great hair.
Great hygene.
He guinuinly cares for other people and puts him self 2nd in all situations.
He's 1/2 Mexican.
The other half is Italian!

B--------- The Bad

Eating habits suck.
Has lower self esteem and thinks that anyone who's with him must be "giving charity"
He's Pro Choice.
No accent!
Lets too many people run over him.
Looks at me all the time saying I'm beautiful. (Yeah, I know it should be in the good colume, but patronizing me gets old. Honestly. Ok, sometimes. I dunno.)

Yeah so those are the columes. Hmmm. I don't know. I will ask Jhoeny what she thinks.

Jhoeny's Address is: Jhoeny and I are getting along so well. She gave me an address where I can Snail mail her. Yay. I sent her a letter and http://www.wearyellow.com some Livestrong Bands . She said she would write me back. Hmmmm, wonder how long that will take? Well, I'm going to write another letter to her. I forgot how fun it is to use a pen and paper. Anyways, her and her Boyfriend, who I loath, broke up. Yeah. She broke up with him for me. Or not. LOL. Sorry if I'm making lite of the situation. I just never felt right when it came to hi. There's just something about him I don't get spiritually. Well, anyways, my little Jhoeny is being strong and I'm so proud of her. Who knows, maybe they are meant to be together and they will find their way to one another again. I would be happy for her, honestly. I told her last night that eventhough I don't want them to e together and I don't like him, I told her not to listen to me or anyone else when it comes to her heart. If her heart tells her to be with him, fuck me, fuck everyone else that wants to pull them apart. Just be happy. I know I will still love her if she's with him or not. So if anyone else can't handle that they are together, their not worthy of having her as a friend. Period.

Kerra's Husband/ My arch Enemy: So, Kerra;s fiancee somehow discovered my journal and read what I said about Kerra last week. He got upset that Kerra made the choice to get drunk with her girlfriend at a bar instead of "show up" for me. In turn, Kerra is angry with me for getting him angry with her because she's not being truthful with him. (What?) Yeah, it's my fault. So, what can I say? I'm not going to pretend to know the limitations that they as a couple have set for one another. Nor am I going to appoligise for, as she put it, getting her in trouble. Should have kept your word to me Kerra. It hurts so much when the girl I brag about to my family, and my friends, and co workers, and people I don't even know, can't keep her word. Yeah, I'm still fuming. Sucks. I do hope that her and Davie have resolved their issue with "Bar Gate 2005", but her and I may never resolve our own issues with it.

IN OTHER NEWS:
I know I don't know you, but I want you so bad.
Cleaning my room. Yay!
Santiago.
Shawna's wedding date has been set (again) for May 7th 2005.
Maroon 5 is sooooooooo yum!
Jhoeny, Remember..... those dates.
To the bum to left their G string in my bag, GRACIAS! lol.
Written by thomasdimera

Popular posts from this blog

Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of ...

Mountains

  It was an impulse thing. For weeks before my grand gesture of driving to North Carolina  I was having pretty much a mental break down. A very grim dentist appointment, loneliness , attachment  to things that could never be mine, weight gain, the pressure  of business,  taking care of an elderly  paRant. At one point I just stood in the middle of a room not know where to go literally  and figuratively . All of a sudden an opportunity  popped up for me to go and I did.  Anyone who knows me know I'm not an impulsive  person but I just had to do this. To clear my head, to refocus myself.  I can get into the details on the trip at a later time. I want with this entry to focus on a single aspect. The thoughts that came to me while driving through the great mountains of this United States and the feelings .  I looked out onto the greatness  of this land and the beauty  it possess and I thought of some things. Deep things. ...
Oh Hi. Ok, so, my cat died. He was 70 in kitty years. It's kinda sad. Who am I kidding, it was a lot of sad. It's so weird after living with someone for 10 years of your life, the next day they are just gone. Of course, I can hear you dumbasses out there saying "Oh it's just a cat" but it's not. HE was my cat, and his name was Booger damnit. Ok, well, i've also been pissed off at another situation. Well, I have/had a friend, Kelly, who I've been friends with for a while now. Now, I knew before hand she had a problem with racism. Well, had a problem with the words. So, ok, i guess i learned to ignore the n word she sometimes uses because she, i thought, didn't mean it in an offensive way. But the other day, i guess i finally got pissed. I walk up behind kelly talking to her friend and her friend's little girl. Kelly said " ... this nigger was dancing up on me at the club..." Her friend started signaling her to be ...