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5:36:05 AM EST Feeling Quiet Hearing Lenny Kravitz
Nights are lonely.
Hello.
Ok, so, yeah, I don't have much to say, but I'll speak. I know it seems as if all my entries recently have been negative. Sorry. I don't think in the 3 years I've been doing this journal have I had four negative post in a row. It sucks.
Andrew: Andrew and I are having issues again. Andrew doesn't turn to me like he used to. I know something is going on with him, but he won't let me know what. So, that's upset me recently.
Well, I can't talk much about him. I'll start crying again and I'm so sick of crying. I was pathetic last night. I was watching American Beauty and As Good as it Gets last night alone and just balling. I dunno. Would have been nice to have someone here with me. My friends are just not here at all. None of them. Sucks. I called Shawna and she was kinda a help, but she spoke to me all of 7 minutes and then had to tend to her fiancee. Must be nice.
I put on some of the weight I lost. Not bad though. i'm still less than I was two months ago. lost appoximatly 30 pounts, but put 10 back on because I've been emotional eating. But blah. It's ok.
Well, you know the guy that I had, um, a roll around with that time that my mom went out of town. Well, we hadn't been in contact since then, until two night s ago. Yeah. He wants to come back over one night this week and, I guess, pardon me french, fuck me again. I mean, who wouldn't though? Anyways, I don't know if I will let him come over.Don't need it. It wasnt like a I love you thing with him and it was so stupid of me. Though he was...... great. i mean, he's one of the emotional type of lovers. He held me and kissed me as we, um, engaged in adult activities. And seemed to be way too much into it. I mean, I've know him for about a year now so it wasn't a one night stand. But, um.......... wait, amI trying to justify this? Ugh! It's sex with no commitment and it's wrong. I'm shamed, I am. But, I'm not catholic anymore so who cares. LOL. So, I don't know. Maybe I will invite him over. The nights are getting so lonely for me it's ridiculous.
Yadda. Self Pity!I hate that. So, my mother pissed me off. My sister calls me to tell me she is downtown giving a speech in support of Bush and we agreed not to do that. I knew they were going out saturday, but I didn't know that she was giving a speech. Well, L said that she didn't know she was giving one and it was short but, whatever! So, guess what, Friday, I'm giving one somewhere and I will be working the polls and do the door to door. i decided that I didn't do enough for Kerry this time because I was so undecided but I've made up my mind. Kerry. Screw Bush. I totally hate his administration and the things they stand for, but as a person, I do not hate Bush. that's something that people confuse about me. I absoulutely do no hate Our President. I just think he should be fired so he can join the klan and spread his racism and his homophobia there.
Ugh. I can't get my thoughts together. I don't think I should have updated yet. I'm just not in the right frame of mind. So, I will update this Saturday so I can let you know more stuff. Sorry. Love you all.
IN OTHER NEWS
Minute Maid Cherry Limeade Juice is so good it gives me an orgasm just thinking about it.
I so need a shower
Jhoeny is making out with this guy name Hector like 24/7 so she never talks to me anymore.
Kerra's out of Town.
Ashley Simpson sucks
Joe for Govenor and Joe for Attorney General!
You don't have to say too much from the look in your eyes I can tell you want some luck!Written by thomasdimera

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