OMG, the Gays of my life are really pissing me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In Alphabetical Order, Andrew is up first!!!! I wait for him to get online all the time. Just wait wait wait, because I love him or some bull like that, but he never shows up. I call call call, no answer. It's like, ugh. I mean, he is my boyfriend and we plan on moving in together, I think. Hmmm, are we still doing that? Anyways, it's like I make all this effort in this relationship, and he's making none! Ugh. Next, Johnny! Geezus, it's like he always turns on his away message when I get online and when we do talk, he just all of a sudden stops talking and puts on his away message. It's like, ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Jordan! He gets upset because I tell one little joke that was meant to be totally innocent! Then, he gets mad, eventhough he doesn't act like it, and says that he has to go to bed. It's like, Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then Justin, he comes by my house yesterday and tells me he was feeling lonely or some bull like that. He stays over night, and strips down to his undies and it's like he tease me and then he tells me it was a big mistake to ever "get, like, really into things with you" and it's like Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Rosie never gets online, because he stupid punishment so I can't tell all this to her, so it's like a bigger ugh. And last but not least Sam, who is a newer friend of mine, just broke up with his boyfriend of 5 years and he's totally depressed and talking about suicide and stuff like that, and I'm like Ugh. So Ugh to you all. Geezus, I need a vacation.
It was an impulse thing. For weeks before my grand gesture of driving to North Carolina I was having pretty much a mental break down. A very grim dentist appointment, loneliness , attachment to things that could never be mine, weight gain, the pressure of business, taking care of an elderly paRant. At one point I just stood in the middle of a room not know where to go literally and figuratively . All of a sudden an opportunity popped up for me to go and I did. Anyone who knows me know I'm not an impulsive person but I just had to do this. To clear my head, to refocus myself. I can get into the details on the trip at a later time. I want with this entry to focus on a single aspect. The thoughts that came to me while driving through the great mountains of this United States and the feelings . I looked out onto the greatness of this land and the beauty it possess and I thought of some things. Deep things. ...