Life's TRUE Journey

ToO Much time to think. Current mood: confused Category: Life I think too much. I get scared sometimes. I know. I hear so much about death and then I obsess on it for a whole day. This was one of those days. I'm lucky enough to have awesome friends and I thank the lord everyday for each and every one of them. But damn, they make me think too much. People come up to me because they say I'm smart, I'm philisophical. I'm Wise beyond my years or whatever. It's great, but if you know me you know I have a lot to say. But I tell ya, sometimes I get so bogged down with these questions that make me think. Religion/God: Beoing a gay christian buddhist has it's challenges, without saying. This is the most difficult issue to try to explain about myself. For a number of years, I had faith in nothing at all. I lost my father, I was dealing with being violated as a child and as a teen. I experienced so much pain that I broke. But what made me come back "...

Deep Down Drown. Current mood: nervous Category: Life Well look at this. So many people are angry with me right now for various reasons. Mainly surrounds the fact that I've not really been availible to a lot of them. And for this I must appoligies. I've been going thru those never ending changes again. But yet, as always, I revert back to my same habits. Like, my ex. For about a week now I've been staying up every night with him. Yeah, bad Tommy. I can't move on for some reason. He's so pathetic and he always suckers me in. He's trying to change. He wants to change. And I want to help him. Because for so long it was him and I against the world. And to tell you the truth, he's been the only person to be there for me thru it all. He's trying to stop drinking and it's so hard seeing him going thru it. I've been so exhausted from stupid stuff at me job and then coming home to an urgent voicemail from him every single night saying he n...

My Time to Cry. Current mood: contemplative Category: Friends Now, let us begin. But first, a quick update on a few things. So, the imfamous Kenny and I made up. Yeah. Listen to this, peeps, I actually had an adult conversation with him. For a wekk, I did the childish thing. Being angry with him, shunning him, being a total bitch to everyone. Then, on New Years eve, my ex booked a hotel room for me because of reasons I care not disclose here. Well, he had booked it at the begining of December and things didn't work out like he hoped so he said I could have it. Besides the point. So, who did I spend New Years eve with in a hotel. Yeah. Kenny. Stupid me you say? No no no. It was a chance for us to just relax and talk some things thru and I'm eternally greatful we did. I will discuse all that next blog, but I really have to get these thank yous done. So, ok, lets start with my resoulution. Now, I thought long and hard about these this year and I'm dead ser...

Perfect Lyrics and vocals. On profile. Current mood: sad Category: Music I Will Follow You Into the Dark Lyrics byDeath Cab For Cutie Love of mine some day you will die But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight Waiting for the hint of a spark If heaven and hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black And I held my tongue as she told me "Son fear is the heart of love" So I never went back If heaven and hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark You and me have seen everything to see From Bangkok to Calgary And the sole...

Annual Repost and Update Current mood: crappy Category: Blogging Hello peeps. Merry Christmas to all. My Christmas was lovely. My family gathered, including my brother Will who was not strung out of begging this year, which just made it even more of a blessing. We ate and we reminisced about my dear Grandmother magnolia. I was so happy with this year. So, just to quickly update on some issues in my life. Yes, my ex boyfriend Kevin was in town. Yay. Well, not really. He brought along MARCO. Yeah, so needless to say, I've seen Kevin only twice his entire trip. We really wasn't connecting on any level at all. He seems like a totally different person to me. Oh well. I think it's because I've been distracted with other things in my life. Kenny. What is it with guys with the K in their stupid names. Well, imagine this people. You bring the guy over to meet your mom. You enjoy each others company whole heartedly. Of course, we all ready established that there is no chance that...

funny viagra commercial Ummm, weird shit.

A Blog about nothing Current mood: content Category: Life Hey. This is just a blog about nothing. I just wanted to clear up a few things. Recently, I've been taking notice about what people have been saying about me. Ad if you're one of those people who says " Well it doesn't matter what other people think about you" Well, you're effen wrong because reputation is need and others perception of you won't make or break you, but it can be insightful at time. Here are a few actual quote that I would like to either deny, defend, or affirm. "Tommy is a slut/ho/whore" - Wrong. I've not had many "lovers" at all. I'm flirty yes, but I never take the next steps. In high school, I was very um, slutty, some could say, but I've not been for years now. Next. " Tommy is mean" - Professionally, I can be somewhat hard on my employees. Hell, ok, to be honest, down right devious. I've gained nicknames. (chef ramsey, Boss Bitch, Sl...

Princess Gina Has passed Current mood: sad Category: Pets and Animals I dearest friend, princess Gina, has passed away. She had been sick for a while now. After my kitty I grew up with, Booger, passed away it was weird that a week later Princess Gina showed up at my doorstep, literally. She was so skinny and sickly and she took a spot in my heart right away. As was booger the trouble maker in the family, Princess Gina was very very gentle and quiet. As if she appreciated what I was providing to her. The picture which has been my default picture since I opened my myspace is of her a few days after she arrived at my door step. I've lost another companion, folks. I'm not going to respond as I did when booger passed away as to how a cat ins't just a cat because, well, if you don't undersant, I'm afraid you never will. Offically, 2006 has been the suck ass est year ever.

Self Esteem -- the other white meat Current mood: nostalgic Category: Life Issues with my self perception have been around since I was a kid. And I try to overcompensate for it when I'm hving my good life days, but when it comes crashing down, so does my self esteem. Quite recently, I entered into a situation that I'm not very proud of. It's an extention on my act of trapping a friend. Different guy now, and a different trap. Meet Kenny. A very smart guy with opinions out the ass. Not literally of course. He's a republican but yet he's centerlized. He sings, he thinks, and yes he's a heart stealer. I noticed I was falling for him within a week. And within that week, things progressed raher quickly for me. He calls it rebound. I call it knowing a good thing when I see it. He has always, from the beginning, told me that he would end up hurting me. And, yes, he did. But it wasn't his fault. It wasn't hi fault at all. Kenny is straight. And ...

To Trap a friend Current mood: guilty Category: Romance and Relationships I now speak of my errors. My errors in thought, heart, and in judgement. I had a friend. A very dear friend in fact. And I, which is typical of me, fell for my friend. Yeash. Stupid. Esspecially since said friend has, um, a life partner. But here I am stupid lonely me trying so hard to balance my feelings and my morals. What on earth was I thinking? Lusting and loving someone who belongs to another. Another that I also consider a friend of mine. What was I thinking? It ate at me night after night. It only got better when an enemy from High school got in contact with me an reminded me of a situation. It was high school. I was planning my death. No suicide or anything. But, I was planning to not be around much longer. And I had a friend by te name of Andrew. Him and I were closer than any two "friends" should be. He would tell me stories about his life, and I would share the most in...

The Bitch is back! Current mood: cranky Category: Life "Tommy D. Oh yes. Him. Well, he was it in the 90s, then the 2000s rolled around and he got soft. He got sick and all that then the men. Yeah, the men. They made him even more soft. He totally fizzled out in 2006. Shame really. He had something. Wait, what is this..... OMG. No, it's it's...... It's HIM! (Dail tone)" ( Elton john's "the bitch is back" plays in the background) Lyrics by Bernie TaupinAvailable on the album Caribou -->LYRICS--> -->The Bitch Is Back--> I was justified when I was fiveRaising cane, I spit in your eyeTimes are changing, now the poor get fatBut the fever's gonna catch you when the bitch gets backEat meat on Friday that's alrightEven like steak on a Saturday nightI can bitch the best at your social do'sI get high in the evening sniffing pots of glueI'm a bitch, I'm a bitchOh the bitch is backStone cold sober as a matter of factI...

Jonathan Kimmel Crank Yankers (Voice System) Reminds me of my boss.

Weather Roach! NO THIS IS NOT ME. LMAO

Ok, I've been drinking so I'm not drunk but i;m rather tipsy. Bare with me. Bad day. Such a bad day. Work was the worst ever. My family is in the mix of hating or abusing me. My fiends are just down riht pissing me off and my exes are making me suicidal. But i do have some good news. I saved a bunch on my car insurance by switcing to esurance.com. Honestly I did. saved $312. Yep. My body was in so much physical pain like all over from the stress today. I don't know. So, I came home an I've had about 5 drinks because i have never been in such pain ever. I'm rlazing now so it's all good. Well trying to. i wish i would have went somewhere and got a comedy dvd, but can't go ot now. been drinking. S, tomorrow I have off from work . anyone wanna go out and do something. Lets go ! Goodnight. Gotta go pee

Burgess, Dewey C. July 21, 2006 Dewey C. Burgess 80, of Indianapolis, died July 19, 2006. Dewey was a member of the Teamsters Local #716 and retired from Central Rubber and Supply Company as a truck driver. Dewey's true passion was for auto racing. Dewey and his wife Thelma, were a constant at The Speedrome for over 50 years serving as the pit register and pit gate operator. Dewey and Thelma were inducted into the Speedrome Hall of Fame and to this day are the only husband and wife to do so. Dewey was preceded in death by his wife Thelma. He is survived by his daughters LaVerne (Jim) Henderson, Evelyn (Don) Ent, Beverly Spears, brother Ben Burgess, 4 grandchildren, 7 great grandchildren and several nieces and nephews. Funeral services will be held Saturday at 12 noon at Flanner & Buchanan Funeral Center- Decatur, with calling Friday 3-8 p.m. at the funeral center. Burial will follow the services in Floral Park Cemetery. Memorial contributions may be made in Dewey's memory t...

Yeah, some funny stuff

Well, allow me to finish up. i thought it would be saturday but I'll go ahead and finish up to my earlier post. Mommy Dearest: My mother's health has not been the best in recent months. Her Doctor is a stupid piece of shit and I keep urging her to change, but mothers never listen to their sons. So, she's had this very bad cough for a while now and she's been to that clown a lot. Sometimes he would not even be there, and then, when he is there, he gives the impression that the stuff my mom has been going thru is exagerated. I finally went in with her on one of her visit to this quack and I took the role as the concerned parent. I asked him 2000 questions and demanded that he listen to my mother. it's not asthma. She's had this feeling like there's something in her chest area. So, anyways, they final run some real test and the next thing I know, they think she may have some form of luekemia because some test showed imornality with her Lempht Nodes. ...

As I promised, an update. I have exactly 51 minutes to complete this, so if I do have to go really fast, I hope you, my fans (lol), will understand. Also, if you would please ask your forgiviness if I am not exactly in a certain order with this blog for I've lots to get to. Reviewing Life: So, if you've not had the chance, i would suggest you go to my blogger blog and read some of the archives. lol. Esspecially the 2001's. I realize, now, how immature I was and how much I've changed in just five years. It's awesome. I'm so glad I started writing a journal of life because it really does give you insight on yourself because usually it's just raw emotion pouring out. I enjoy it. http://prepboy83.blogspot.com Pride 2006: I again, attended pride with my bestest lesbian friend, Valerie. And, it was an event. As you guys know, last year pride sucked rally hard for me, so I thought this year would be a turn around. Well, I know I enjoyed myself a lot mo...

It's OK Something to remember. Updating Tomorrow!

Mood: Sad Music: Lonely day by System of a Down Just Lyrics. (I'll post an update soon. Before friday for sure. ) Lonely Day by System Of A DownSuch a lonely day, And it's mine. The most loneliest day of my life. Such a lonely day should be banned. It's a day that I can't stand. The most loneliest day of my life. The most loneliest day of my life. Such a lonely day shouldn't exist. It's a day that I'll never miss. Such a lonely day, and it's mine. The most loneliest day of my life. And if you go, I wanna go with you. And if you die, I wanna die with you. Take your hand and walk away. The most loneliest day of my life. The most loneliest day of my life. The most loneliest day of my life. Such a lonely day, and it's mine. It's a day that I'm glad I survived.