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As I promised, an update. I have exactly 51 minutes to complete this, so if I do have to go really fast, I hope you, my fans (lol), will understand. Also, if you would please ask your forgiviness if I am not exactly in a certain order with this blog for I've lots to get to.

Reviewing Life: So, if you've not had the chance, i would suggest you go to my blogger blog and read some of the archives. lol. Esspecially the 2001's. I realize, now, how immature I was and how much I've changed in just five years. It's awesome. I'm so glad I started writing a journal of life because it really does give you insight on yourself because usually it's just raw emotion pouring out. I enjoy it.
http://prepboy83.blogspot.com

Pride 2006: I again, attended pride with my bestest lesbian friend, Valerie. And, it was an event. As you guys know, last year pride sucked rally hard for me, so I thought this year would be a turn around. Well, I know I enjoyed myself a lot more this year, but not without some emotions. I was rather excited because it seemed that the turnout this year was larger than ever and people this year were a lot nicer. I enjoyed seeing the congresswoman, Julia Carson, take a part in the parade. She has really been a champion for the gay rights movement here in Indiana. So, everything was going well, but then Valerie and I kinda had a drama moment. Well, we were enjoying ourselves and at one point apparently there was a girl there checking her out. I didn't notice. So, I wrapped my arms around her because yeah, I was having a great time. Then, all of a sudden she gets upset with me and tells me that the girl was not looking at her anymore. Damn. Sorry, i didn't know. So, yeah, i felt a little bad about it, yes. And I did kinda feel like I'm holding her back and maybe I should just go away. So, of course, i did not stand so close to her, or trying to give the impression that we are together (Because at pride, if you see a girl and a guy holding hands or playing they must be together, right? ) So, the day goes on and Val turns to me and says "Why are you not happy? You're never happy. Why can't you enjoy yourself?" I stopped dead in my tracks. All this emotion just rushed to the forefront and I started crying right there. I remembered how Kevin would always say I wasn't the "happy queer" that he's used to. I remembered how Sam said I'm just a drama queen. So, I was trying not to show any emotion, and I just couldn't hold back. I just kept thinking, I will never be like "them" . I was so hurt by her saying I'm never happy. I was happy. I just don't show it by prancing around. And I thought of all people, she would know me better. I actually walked away from the festival and stood in an ally and cried a lot. Valerie followed me and we agreed to take a break. So, we went home and I slept for about 2 hours. I woke and we went back downtown to see Rupaul!!!! Everything was ok at this point. Val and I had talked, we enjoyed the show and we had a great weekend.

Second Chances: I am not going to elaborate today, but I've gotten a second chance to redo some things in my life and I'm doing things right this time.

Resoulutions for 2006: So, I feel off the wagon. I gained all the weight back, I drew myself in, and I lost myself. The three goals I set for myself were not even in my mind, but this last few months, I've gotten back to them. I've been eating better and getting physical. LOL. Not like that. And all the weight that I did gain this year is gone, so I will now focus on getting rid of the 30 pounds tat was my original goal. And, the goal that everyone laughed at (No boyfriend this year) I'm keeping that so well! Of course there are guys that, well, mmmmmmmmm. But, noppers! How do I work on my sexual aggression. I practice my serve, or play video games. lol. Works for me.

Crap, i gotta go. I'm sorry. I may update more by Saturday. No worries. I will update soon. It helps me sort out things a lot. Take care everyone and god bless. Love you all.

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