OMG, what's happening to me? I've been very very emotional the past three days You would think that since I'm a psychology major, I would know what's wrong with me. I've been lashing out at Cory a lot too. I think it's the fustration of him always saying he's leaving his girlfriend, but whenever i see her, they are together. And my life sucks and I do want to die, seriously. Ugh! I'm not saying I'm going to kill myself, but if something were to happen to me, I would not fight death. Someone rob me, I'll fight them even if they have a gun. I'm just so sick of everyone in this stupid world. I know I'm a good person. I know I'm worthy of everything. But everyone in this world is ........ Ugh. Let me leave. Goodnight.
It was an impulse thing. For weeks before my grand gesture of driving to North Carolina I was having pretty much a mental break down. A very grim dentist appointment, loneliness , attachment to things that could never be mine, weight gain, the pressure of business, taking care of an elderly paRant. At one point I just stood in the middle of a room not know where to go literally and figuratively . All of a sudden an opportunity popped up for me to go and I did. Anyone who knows me know I'm not an impulsive person but I just had to do this. To clear my head, to refocus myself. I can get into the details on the trip at a later time. I want with this entry to focus on a single aspect. The thoughts that came to me while driving through the great mountains of this United States and the feelings . I looked out onto the greatness of this land and the beauty it possess and I thought of some things. Deep things. ...