Hey my peeps. I'm laying in my bed listening to Jewel. The old Jewel. Who will save your soul to be exact. I'm totally depressed today for some reason. I got out of Psychology class today and went to my job just to be near Cory. It's so pathetic. And I was just all cryey and sad all day. I just feel something is wrong and I feel like I want to die, but I don't think I'll ever do it. Seriously, I don't know the reason or what triggered this bout of depression. Okay, crying again. Geezus. i wish I had someone I can talk to right now. I have like no real friends that I can talk to about stuff except for Cory and Bridgette. But Cory is probabley with his little girlfriend right now and Bridgett's just not going to respond to me like I need. She's too young to understand things. She's a sweet girl and all, but there's so much she doesn't knoe about me period. Pkay, I'll try to watch David Letterman and laugh. If not, I'll just take like six sleeping pills and go to bed.
Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of ...