I'm totally depressed. My real life friend, Mia, thru me out of her house because her boyfriend and I got into an arguement. Mia and I have been friends for over 5 years, and she got pregnant last year by some convict and now he thinks he's in control. Obviously he is. She goes, "I think you should leave Tom. " I was like, okay. So I got home and for no reason I started crying. I hate being on the outside looking in. That hurt me so much.
It was an impulse thing. For weeks before my grand gesture of driving to North Carolina I was having pretty much a mental break down. A very grim dentist appointment, loneliness , attachment to things that could never be mine, weight gain, the pressure of business, taking care of an elderly paRant. At one point I just stood in the middle of a room not know where to go literally and figuratively . All of a sudden an opportunity popped up for me to go and I did. Anyone who knows me know I'm not an impulsive person but I just had to do this. To clear my head, to refocus myself. I can get into the details on the trip at a later time. I want with this entry to focus on a single aspect. The thoughts that came to me while driving through the great mountains of this United States and the feelings . I looked out onto the greatness of this land and the beauty it possess and I thought of some things. Deep things. ...