I was worried about my mom, so I played scramble with her. She beat me twice in a row. Total bummer. After my dad died, she gets this moods. She's better now. Thanks for worrying. . She gets in a bad mood because she has very low self esteem. I mean, it's totally oppisite of me. I love everything about me. I'm perfect to me. I wish there was a way to make her like herself. I wish there was a way to make everyone like themselves. Like my friend Rosie. She's an online best friend. She is always saying how depressed she gets sometimes when she feels fat or something. OMG, hello, who wants a stick. Not that way Rosie if you are reading this. And my other online friend, Cynthia. All the time, she goes, "Oh, I'm fat and ugly. YOu wouldn't want me" As If. Ladies, get a grip. You are all beautiful, including you mom. Ughhhhhhhh
Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of ...