I think I gave way too many people this web address. Now that I think about it, I really don't want you all to know my thoughts and my life. But, oh well.Here is something I have thought about in the last 20 minutes. I was thinking how much better it would be if I were dead. No, I mean, somewhere between high school (My senior year just ended June 2nd) and now, I have lost myself. The future looks bad for me. I worked hard for popularity in high school. To tell you the truth, I was a major dork in Middle school, But high School I made a plan to change that and be very popular and respected and that's what I did. But it took a lot of effort and now that it's over, I feel so lost and depressed. YOu loose contact with 50% of your friends who made you who you are. You have to Be just another number in society without being known. Everyday I walked thru the halls in High school, people would say, "Yeah, that's Tommy D. We all know his story" NOw, There aren't even hellos from the people in the world today. Everytime I walked down the hall in high school, there was, "Tommy!!!!" "Hey Tommy Boy" "What's up tommy". Now, there are nods at my job and nods from my neighboors. An empty gester that takes no effort, thought, or control. And I miss it a lot. Really, I miss a lot of things.
Ok, crying again. Depression is so stupid it sucks. Yeah, today, though, for a change, it's not about Aaron. But now I'm crying because I mentioned his name. But, the initial crying is because of Andrew Andrew Andrew H H H. God is very cruel to me, I'm thinking right now. Okay, I'm really crying right now and can;t see the screen. I don't understand why God made me love, I mean geinuenly love someone I could never have and it's just I don't understand why my heart is somewhere it doesn't belong. it's fucking insane. I'm so sic of feeling like I not going to be happy because of stupid little shit that shouldn't even be a fucking factor. God is suppiosed to be love. and love is supposed to besomething not easy to come by, but somehat that is obtainable. Why is it not for me. Why and I so fucking destined to be alone for my life. I want someone to fucking share this journey and I pled and I pray everyday. I follow the rules of ...