40 Dirty Little SecretsBe honest no matter what.[ONE] Who were your last 3 texts from?All of them from my ex Joshua[TWO] Where was your default taken ?In a room[THREE] What's your middle name?Um, I'm not telling, but I have two and they start with C and J[FOUR] Your current relationship status?Kissing a certain boy, but not totally steady because it's the kiss kiss phase. Not even dating.[FIVE] Does your crush like you back?Not as much as I would like[SIX] What is your current mood?Stiff but excited that I'm loosing weight[SEVEN] Are you shy?It used to be 90% shy, but it's down to about 65%[EIGHT] What color shirt are you wearing?Black[NINE] If you were to go on a reality TV show, which one would you go on?WIPEOUT, TOTALLY! ( I love amanda Jo and this confirms it)TEN] Are you imagining anyone naked right now?Well, Amanda Jo and Chris . mmmmm.[ELEVEN] Did you ever sneak into an R rated movie?No.[TWELVE] Ever had a near death experience?Yes, a couple. I think I really should be dead right now.[THIRTEEN] Something you do a lot?Take pictures and video[FOURTEEN] Angry at anyone?Somewhat, but Jesus Metropolitan Community Church is helping me through all the anger bullcrap[FIFTEEN] Do you want to see somebody right now?Hell yesSIXTEEN] What piercing's do you have?Honey, none. But damn I want one of my nips done so bad. If only I weren't so scared.[SEVENTEEN] When was the last time you cried?Yesterday in public because I finished reading The Diary of Anne Frank and I couldn't help it.[EIGHTEEN] Who would you do anything for?Anyone at church and my family.[NINETEEN] Are you doing anything stupid in life right now?Yes. But it's a great time to just be stupid.[TWENTY] What is the one thing you notice about the opposite sex first?Their boyfriends.[TWENTY-TWO] What's your biggest fear?Missing the love of my life because of stupid superficial things.[TWENTY-THREE] Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?Yes. I'm just a big friggen kid right now.[TWENTY-FOUR] Who's pimp?Ummmm, Bill Clinton?[TWENTY-FIVE] Do you speak any other languages?Yes, quite a few, but only strong ones are Spanish and English.[TWENTY-SIX] Whats your favorite smell?The scent of a man, just out of the shower and working out just slightly with the hint of Curve still on his skin. mmmmmmmmm.[TWENTY-SEVEN] Describe your life?A series of ups and downs but not much sex. A life that examples could be made of, both good and bad.[TWENTY-EIGHT] Last time you were mad?Ummmm, hard to say.[TWENTY-NINE] Why are you still single?Because I've not much to offer but fun and personality.[THIRTY] Have you ever kissed in the rain?Always wanted to[THIRTY-ONE] Do you like the rain?Extremely[THIRTY-TWO] What are you thinking about right now?Kissing in the rain.[THIRTY-THREE] What should you be doing right now?Preparing for my job interview[THIRTY-FOUR] What's your favorite memory?Any and all family Gatherings[THIRTY-FIVE] What are you listening to?Some John Mayer because he makes me effing horny and he dumped Jenn to be with me[THIRTY-SIX] Where would you like to live?Not in this country.[THIRTY-SEVEN] Who was the last person you yelled at?Honey, I don't yell.[THIRTY-EIGHT] Do you act differently around the person you like?Yes, weirdly, I'm much more open and just excitable and like just hyper hyper hyper[THIRTY-NINE] What's your natural hair color?Red[FORTY] Who is the last person that made you smile?Joshua
It was an impulse thing. For weeks before my grand gesture of driving to North Carolina I was having pretty much a mental break down. A very grim dentist appointment, loneliness , attachment to things that could never be mine, weight gain, the pressure of business, taking care of an elderly paRant. At one point I just stood in the middle of a room not know where to go literally and figuratively . All of a sudden an opportunity popped up for me to go and I did. Anyone who knows me know I'm not an impulsive person but I just had to do this. To clear my head, to refocus myself. I can get into the details on the trip at a later time. I want with this entry to focus on a single aspect. The thoughts that came to me while driving through the great mountains of this United States and the feelings . I looked out onto the greatness of this land and the beauty it possess and I thought of some things. Deep things. ...