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Hi hi hi. Hello. Okay, maybe blogging will make me feel better today.



How a Saturday starts:

Today has just started off so bad. I hope not to be as negative as some people in my life (mother) but it's just a suck butt day already. I had to break up a fight among two homeless people. That made me so sad. In my head, I'm making up cinerios on why they were fighting. I do not know the true reason why they were fighting though.

My mother angered me today just by being such a negative person about everything. I truly hope that as I get older, I do not get cranky. I just hope to remain happy and, well, gay. My mmother has but only a few focuses in life. One major one is money money money. She lets money control her mood. That's one of the reasons I've made it a point over the last few years to do without a lot of things. There are many things I would like to have materially that I know I can afford, but I've made that choice that I will not let my "things" define me! It's amazing when I look back at a time when I had everything I wanted, and I am not as happy as I am now having little. It's a gift, esspecially in this society that places so much value on stuff.

I left my cell phone at home, and I have no time to go get it. I know, there is that little voice in my head saying " You don't need it.". I just seem lost without it, though I'm seeing that my attachment to it is unhealthy. There was a world without a cell phone.

Two more guys invited me to a place other than a restruant or a movie. (See my blog " Not feeling Bloggy, But I must" under the Goals Update number 3 to understand) Oh well, I guess I just give out the "Not datable but trash and easy " vibe.. For a moment, I gave up, but my dear Kevin helped me through it. Thanks Kevin.

I ran out of hair gel this morning so basiclally I'm having a bad hair day. I don't feel pretty today! I DON'T FEEL PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I work at the bloddy mall for craps sake! So, I'm gonna go down there and try my best to put on a smile, though my day has been a crapfest so fair. I'm actually listen to my favorite song, " All these things I've done" by the killers . I think it's bring me back to a better mood. I'll post the lyrics .


When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I wanna mean it from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The gold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

[x10]
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on




So, I have to get up and go to the Pay job in a few minutes, and I really don't feel like it. O well. Have a great day. i will blog next week with something more than negative. Damn I love that song!

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