Life's TRUE Journey

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 Rundown, Repost, and Regulars Current mood: calm Category: Friends So many things to discuse and unfortunatley, i've let things pile up. I've not been on for a while trying to build myself up again and all that. So, heres a run down. Today, as like the last 6 years, I will repost my annual thank yous from last year. The Thank yous are something i do every year (7 years now) at new yearsday, reflecting on year past, and giving thanks to the people wh impacted my life. But you knew that, right? Now, i still owe a special Julia blog, which i will do Friday along with a full update on my life. So mark that day on your calenders. I actually uploaded a video of the whole Julia thing, but its basically the events of the funeral and me trying to speak while crying like a baby, so a blog is more fitting. Then of course on New Years day, i will post the 2007 thank yous (last couple of years, i've been late,but i will do my best this year). Okay, th...

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 Rundown, Repost, and Regulars Current mood: calm Category: Friends So many things to discuse and unfortunatley, i've let things pile up. I've not been on for a while trying to build myself up again and all that. So, heres a run down. Today, as like the last 6 years, I will repost my annual thank yous from last year. The Thank yous are something i do every year (7 years now) at new yearsday, reflecting on year past, and giving thanks to the people wh impacted my life. But you knew that, right? Now, i still owe a special Julia blog, which i will do Friday along with a full update on my life. So mark that day on your calenders. I actually uploaded a video of the whole Julia thing, but its basically the events of the funeral and me trying to speak while crying like a baby, so a blog is more fitting. Then of course on New Years day, i will post the 2007 thank yous (last couple of years, i've been late,but i will do my best this year). Okay, th...

Bad Days Suck Current mood: rejected Category: Life Hey Folks. Just wanted to blog and see if it would help me feel better today. Maybe because it's raining or whatever, but I'm having one of those shitty days where I don't feel good about myself and people annoy me. Poor Justin Dustin was a victim of that today. He was talking about my previous journal entry, and he said i painted him out to be a bad guy. I let him no that no one even mentioned anything like that and that he was just stupid. Then my mother got on my nerves. I'm just trying to cook me something to eat and she comes around just asking all these questions and I'm like, really not in the mood to talk. I just want to get something to eat and whatever. I tried to just have a little peace and tim to myself. But then she gets emotional because i'm not uppy and happy and wanting to envoke conversation. Then, just stupid shit got to me today. On the shuttle bus to and from work no one sat next...

It's been so many months since I posted a blog, I don't think I remember how. But I promised Justin Dustin to post oe because, and I'm quoting "I want to know how you really feel about me" Mkay . So blogging shall begin now. At the forefront of my complex mind is the absoulute joy I feel right now. This is mainly over my new place of employment, Federal Express. I've been questioning myself on why I feel such emmense joy working there. One could say it's because how horrible my last job went. I care not too talk to much about it, but they made the mistake of playing with my money so I played a little back and they didn't like that too well. When i get off of work from fed ex, it's so different from when I used to get off from the old job. I have such positive energy and excitment when I leave fed ex, it's almost humous . I'm constantly asking my friends is it normal to feel so happy about working. Ok , Justin Dustin, here'...

ToO Much time to think. Current mood: confused Category: Life I think too much. I get scared sometimes. I know. I hear so much about death and then I obsess on it for a whole day. This was one of those days. I'm lucky enough to have awesome friends and I thank the lord everyday for each and every one of them. But damn, they make me think too much. People come up to me because they say I'm smart, I'm philisophical. I'm Wise beyond my years or whatever. It's great, but if you know me you know I have a lot to say. But I tell ya, sometimes I get so bogged down with these questions that make me think. Religion/God: Beoing a gay christian buddhist has it's challenges, without saying. This is the most difficult issue to try to explain about myself. For a number of years, I had faith in nothing at all. I lost my father, I was dealing with being violated as a child and as a teen. I experienced so much pain that I broke. But what made me come back "...

Deep Down Drown. Current mood: nervous Category: Life Well look at this. So many people are angry with me right now for various reasons. Mainly surrounds the fact that I've not really been availible to a lot of them. And for this I must appoligies. I've been going thru those never ending changes again. But yet, as always, I revert back to my same habits. Like, my ex. For about a week now I've been staying up every night with him. Yeah, bad Tommy. I can't move on for some reason. He's so pathetic and he always suckers me in. He's trying to change. He wants to change. And I want to help him. Because for so long it was him and I against the world. And to tell you the truth, he's been the only person to be there for me thru it all. He's trying to stop drinking and it's so hard seeing him going thru it. I've been so exhausted from stupid stuff at me job and then coming home to an urgent voicemail from him every single night saying he n...

My Time to Cry. Current mood: contemplative Category: Friends Now, let us begin. But first, a quick update on a few things. So, the imfamous Kenny and I made up. Yeah. Listen to this, peeps, I actually had an adult conversation with him. For a wekk, I did the childish thing. Being angry with him, shunning him, being a total bitch to everyone. Then, on New Years eve, my ex booked a hotel room for me because of reasons I care not disclose here. Well, he had booked it at the begining of December and things didn't work out like he hoped so he said I could have it. Besides the point. So, who did I spend New Years eve with in a hotel. Yeah. Kenny. Stupid me you say? No no no. It was a chance for us to just relax and talk some things thru and I'm eternally greatful we did. I will discuse all that next blog, but I really have to get these thank yous done. So, ok, lets start with my resoulution. Now, I thought long and hard about these this year and I'm dead ser...