Feeling Hopeful
Watching Desperate Housewives
¿Tomas, por qué es tu triste?
Hello.
So, a week later and I'm working on it. I've stopped drinking nightly. I've gone back on my diet and I've lost 1 pound. Everything big starts off small, right?
I've hashed out the last of the anger that I had over loosing Sam. Jessi and I are no longer friends, but we have agreed to put this all behind us. I will not hold anymore anger for her, nor she for me. Some of the things Jessi said, I've examined closly. The whole "Drama Queen" thing came up. Am I a Drama queen? What is a drama Queen? I find my self dumbfounded by this label. I hope it doesn't mean a person with opinions and not afraid to voice them. I think of all the empty headed, single track minded peeps out there and I'm so glad I'm not them. Not able to hold a conversation. Thinking of only the next lay. That's just not me.
Also, the "physical difference" the girls were referring to when they said that Sam had lost interest. I don't get it. Sam kissed me. He wanted to date me. Nothing changed. I mean, my weight didn't change atall in between the time he asked me out at first and the time that he decided to go back to David. I didn't grow taller, or shrink. Nothing physically changed. The girls thought he meant the actuall, like, positions we would take in the bedroom. But (omg, here comes a TMI moment), but, um, I'm a bottom, he's a top. Um, they kinda match up. So, I'm still puzzled as to what Sam meant by that.
The reason why I even care about these things is to make sure I never make the same mistakes again. I'm actually looking to the future, which is something I couldn't say just one week ago. The issues are in fact resolved with the whole Sam thing. I'm not going to let this hurdle just send me crashing to the ground with no hope of ever getting back up and finishing this race.
¿Tomas, por qué es tu triste? someone asked me a few days ago. (Basically it asks why am I so sad for all of you none spanish speaking people [losers] lol)
When I was asked that, I had no response. Now I do.
¿Por qué soy triste? ¡Ahora, No mas! Triste es para maricons y putos. Estoy no puto. Maricon, un poco, pero no puto.
(And forgive me if my spanish isn't the best, but it basically says Why the hell am I sad? Ok, now, I'm not going to be anymore. I may be a "fag" but I'm not some dirty stinkin' whiney ass skank. Or, however you may wish to translate it. )
Ok, so what is this. Come back number 204? I'm beginning to be like one of those divas that everyone says " Oooo, Career over. She's a has been. This is it. We'll never see her again" and then everytime comes back to top whatever chart she may fall on. Then have like 30 fairwell tours. Yeah yeah. It's not like I plan these things.
Just a journey that everyone goes thru. You have your highest highs, and your lowest lows. The strong stay along until the ride comes to a complete stop. And the weak take a leep while it's going only to fall face first to there death. I'm too beautiful to die just yet.
lol.
Okay, I will update later this week with a few things I have planned. Join me will you for the 208th Tommy comeback tour. Lets make this one great.
Love you all, and God bless each and every one of you. Written by thomasdimera
Watching Desperate Housewives
¿Tomas, por qué es tu triste?
Hello.
So, a week later and I'm working on it. I've stopped drinking nightly. I've gone back on my diet and I've lost 1 pound. Everything big starts off small, right?
I've hashed out the last of the anger that I had over loosing Sam. Jessi and I are no longer friends, but we have agreed to put this all behind us. I will not hold anymore anger for her, nor she for me. Some of the things Jessi said, I've examined closly. The whole "Drama Queen" thing came up. Am I a Drama queen? What is a drama Queen? I find my self dumbfounded by this label. I hope it doesn't mean a person with opinions and not afraid to voice them. I think of all the empty headed, single track minded peeps out there and I'm so glad I'm not them. Not able to hold a conversation. Thinking of only the next lay. That's just not me.
Also, the "physical difference" the girls were referring to when they said that Sam had lost interest. I don't get it. Sam kissed me. He wanted to date me. Nothing changed. I mean, my weight didn't change atall in between the time he asked me out at first and the time that he decided to go back to David. I didn't grow taller, or shrink. Nothing physically changed. The girls thought he meant the actuall, like, positions we would take in the bedroom. But (omg, here comes a TMI moment), but, um, I'm a bottom, he's a top. Um, they kinda match up. So, I'm still puzzled as to what Sam meant by that.
The reason why I even care about these things is to make sure I never make the same mistakes again. I'm actually looking to the future, which is something I couldn't say just one week ago. The issues are in fact resolved with the whole Sam thing. I'm not going to let this hurdle just send me crashing to the ground with no hope of ever getting back up and finishing this race.
¿Tomas, por qué es tu triste? someone asked me a few days ago. (Basically it asks why am I so sad for all of you none spanish speaking people [losers] lol)
When I was asked that, I had no response. Now I do.
¿Por qué soy triste? ¡Ahora, No mas! Triste es para maricons y putos. Estoy no puto. Maricon, un poco, pero no puto.
(And forgive me if my spanish isn't the best, but it basically says Why the hell am I sad? Ok, now, I'm not going to be anymore. I may be a "fag" but I'm not some dirty stinkin' whiney ass skank. Or, however you may wish to translate it. )
Ok, so what is this. Come back number 204? I'm beginning to be like one of those divas that everyone says " Oooo, Career over. She's a has been. This is it. We'll never see her again" and then everytime comes back to top whatever chart she may fall on. Then have like 30 fairwell tours. Yeah yeah. It's not like I plan these things.
Just a journey that everyone goes thru. You have your highest highs, and your lowest lows. The strong stay along until the ride comes to a complete stop. And the weak take a leep while it's going only to fall face first to there death. I'm too beautiful to die just yet.
lol.
Okay, I will update later this week with a few things I have planned. Join me will you for the 208th Tommy comeback tour. Lets make this one great.
Love you all, and God bless each and every one of you. Written by thomasdimera