Tonight I came the closest I've ever came to suicide. First I'll tell you all the stuff that's been going on since last time. Okay, cory. Cory is the boy with whom I fell in love with, and then my ex girlfriend Cheryl and he started dating. So, I was like always thinking of ways to break them up, which I did. It was simple actually. I just got her other ex boyfriend, Jimmy, into the picture which in fact made Cory really jeolous. So, after only going out for two days, they split and everything was going well. I would go over Cory's house and we were getting along so well. We shared so much more about each other and it's like we were really connecting. So it progressed and progressed and then Wednesday, he goes " I love you" totally out of the blue. So,, being that this was never expect, I laughed it off. But then I didn't hear any laughter back *we were on the phone(. I just hung up after that. So, yesterday Thursday I go over his house and we never bring it up and we hugged and stuff, but then tonight, all of a sudden there is a new chick name Ashley and he totally disses me in front of not only her, but my friends to. So, I dunno, after that I went to the top floor of a parking lot on campus and sat on the ledge looking at my beautiful city and crying and thinking I'm going to take my life. I called my mom and told her I love her and hung up. then I called Andrew but he never picked up the phone. I wanted him tofinally hear my voice. Then I called Joshua and told him I loved him. Then I turned of my phone and sat there. Just thinking and crying. Now, this next part is like something out of a dairy tale, so I don't give a shit if you believe me or not, but it happened. This girls came up from behind me and asking am I okay. Brown hairl, shorter medium builts with classes and a cute small nose and I said nothing and told her to just leave me be. But she wouldn't go away. Then, like this total stranger started talking to me and openoing up to me and I to her. She literali talked me from the ledge. But, like I said, it sounds like a fairy tale, but I didn't get her name. I don't know who this girl was that saved my life. I never seen her on campus or anything. So, right now I'm still crying and sitting here. I'm trying not to think bad thoughts but I'm so tired. U gave no control or power. I'm just non exsistant.
Feeling Sad Hearing Jet- Look what we've Done Short Ooooo, look what you've done. You've made a fool of everyone. Oh well, it seems like such fun until you loose what you have have won. JUST DEPRESSION: Kevin wants me to quit my job. What can I say? Um, doesn't help that I started PMS'ing yesterday. I can think straight. I haven't anyone to turn to right now. My friends are away. Somehow I'm to wake up tomorrow and watch my best friend get married while I am so alone. While I'm so sad. While, I'm nothing but mush. And all day tomorrow I will have to keep that stupid smile on my face which draws me seconds closer to suicide. I'm sick. I'm tired. I barly have energy to get out of bed. I'm thinking selffishly. I've not lost myself, I've just made sure I can never be found for this depression is deeper, stronger, and more endurring than any of it's predesesors. To my lord I turn, to no avail, to my friends I tur...