When in heat.... blog.
Current mood: animated
Well, hello all my friends, fans, and stalkers. Welcome to another all new post of the greatest blog ever invented by a queer. (Eat me Perez!)
LOL. Yes, I said it. Well, I don't think I'm as interesting as he is, but I think I can connect better.
Anyways, I just wanted to give you all a little update on the happenings in Queerdom, Indiana. Specifically, the reigning leader of the Gays; Me.
So, with all the troubling things that have happened in Indianapolis recently (Not only with me and the job loss, thelove lifedeath, and the pain of just getting by, but also with the officers killing people off, and the mayor and government of Indiana just sucking so bad with providing for it's citizens) I have been in contact with my ex who proposed something. He has a nice property down in Jacksonville, Florida and he will be out of town for few weeks, then in town for a few weeks so he really needs someone to house sit and help out with things. He proposed that I move down to Jacksonville for a year or so.
I'm considering it strongly. I guess I can lay out the pros and cons of each. If I go:
I will have a fresh start. Be able to meet new people and go new places.
I will not have any expenses. Alejandro will take care of all that.
I will be able to aid someone else, while aiding myself.
I will be away from such a polluted place. Polluted with this rising evil force I feel here.
I can avoid what I predict will be the harshest Winter here in Indianapolis.
But, if I decide to stay, the pros would be
I will be able to attend my church
I will have my family and friends that I am familiar with.
I will be able to aid my mother
I will be able to seek employment for the long hall.
I will be able to aid in the fight for love and good against any evil forces that are growing here (I know it sounds a bit goofy. I know not how to explain it better than evil forces. Waves of negativity. )
There's just so much to consider, and I have about a month or so to make up my mind. But something has changed here that I find interesting enough.
For months now, I've not really been in the mood for people. I've had so much on my plate. Job issues, health issues, friendship issues. Of course, the love life issues were there, but they were pushed into the back of my mind. But, then, I started hearing a song. For those who don't know, it's seems that when I find/meet someone who I take a particular interest in, I hear a song. For Alejandro it was Loving you by Minnie Ripperton (Stop singing it Ale!!!!) , Kenny was Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, Cory was Running Away by Hoobastank, Matt was At Last by Etta James, ect. ect. Well, there's a new song....... and a new guy. Well, he's not new. I've known him for some time now and I've always been interested, but never thought the same vice versa. But now, I see him and that damn Kylie Minogue song Burning up (I posted it below and on my facebook.). And it's intense. I love and hate this part. Because I'm hearing this song so strong right now and I'm always setting my self up for failure when I hear the song before I find out a lot more information.
I've never got this who attraction/dating thing. it's especially hard for the gays. I know, you're thinking "No way. You queers have it so easy. " But it's not. The major hurdle is the fact that in the bedroom, there are certain roles that some take. Not everyone is versatile. lol. Wow, that's just put out there, isn't it. But , okay, let me explain this as best as I can without being disturbing or graphic. When a man meets a woman, it's assumed (with 99.997% accuracy) that the "man" will be the penetrater and the "woman" will be the penetrated. Well, in the queer world, it's not that simple unless both people joining in the relationship are versatile with no problem being the penatrater or the penetrated. It's like puzzle pieces. Some fit together, but some don't. But when they all come together, it makes a beautiful picture.
Now, for all this discussion, I'm not saying that it's the most important aspect in a relationship. But, it's a nice bonus, isn't it. And if you have two people who are not compatible in that way, you may have a few issues. Just as with one of my ex.'s. He misrepresented himself by saying he was one thing while he wasn't because he just assumed I was the other and he wanted to keep me. Then, the issues that came from the lack of connection in the sexual way eventually lead to other issues. Then, you're out of a relationship. I do my best to be upfront with who I am, but the sexual things are way more complicated, yet they are there in my mind when I start hearing songs so to speak.
The other things are of course with self perception. It's interesting with me, in the fact that one moment I think I should be voted sexiest man alive in People Magazine, then the next day I think it best I put a bag over my head for society's sake. Those nagging self esteem issues are never going to just go away I've concluded at this point in my life. I've learn to deal with them better. But still, they are there and I can't help it.
So, those are just some pressing issues with the song being played. But, I must tell you, this guy....... HE'S YUMRIFIC. I mean, he's such a cutie and he's just the nicest guy ever. he has somewhat of an offbeat humor, which is perfect for my totally offbeat humor. He's always smiling, and just being a courteous and awesome person to everyone he comes in contact with .. (sigh) Perfection. lol. But those initial issues. With all I'm going threw right now, is it a good time to take up more issues? The rewards (being able to be with him more. mmmmm) are very much stacked high. But too high? I don't know. Gotta think. Gotta think...... (singing) I'm burning up Baby
Okay, attention! I'm supposed to be an adult apparently. lol. To drive that point home, a friend of mine came to me with some conversation that quickly took a terrible turn. She was speaking of a new boyfriend she had acquired. (That sounds so officially. Like she mail ordered him. lol ) My friend is not yet 18, so I'm still thinking she's a child. When, she tells me that she has.... thoughts. Shocked, I was like "No no no! You're still a baby! No no no!" How ridiculous. Then I started talking to her about what sex means and that she should wait (I would be okay with 40 years old) and that it will change everything and it's such a bad idea. But as I'm sitting here telling her this, I start thinking of my own life. When I was her age, I had already done..... um, things. I started doing things when I was 14. So, feeling life a big ol' hypocrite, I tried to not act like her father, and more like her friend. I mean, she's my friend because I respect her and I enjoy how intelligent and strong she is even at her young age. Why would I think that she wasn't thinking this thru. Who am I to sit and act like an adult....... Yeah, I am, but I think of when some adult would tell me all the stuff I was telling her . I was like "You don't know me, or my situation, so STFU" . So, basically, I just stopped talking at her, and just listened. I really hope she doesn't (Though it did not adversely affect me when I was her age) , but I know she will make her decision and she will be strong enough to make it no matter what she chooses.
Geez, when did I become the adult. lol. I guess it came when i decided to gain knowledge. Creepy!!!!!!
Well, now to the Justice segment. Well, okay, just a couple of things. First, something that involves me personally. I'm so sick of being mistreated, so I'm calling some people out. I will try not to make it about individual people, so I will just stick to companies until I run out of bad companies. Per blog, there will be a Mark of Shame given to a person or place, a mark or kiss my ass (The worst Mark you can get) given to a person or place, and a Mark of Tommy (MOT for short. ) given out to the best person or place.
I'll start with a bar. Mark of Shame this blog goes out to Metro Nightclub and Bar. I've went to Metro every Wednesday and Sunday for poker nights. They have free poker tourney's there on Wednesday and Sunday, and at Downtown Olly's on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You can win a cash prize if you are number 1 at the end of the tourney. So, I recently entered Metro after just purchasing an Arizona Tea from CVS. When you're unemployed and you see that the tea is on sale for 49 cents, you grab one with a smile. Well, i was drinking it on the way to Metro and as I entered into the poker area without a thought. I know, some of you are saying how can you be so ignorant to the rules, but I honestly did not know that this was a problem. I usually order things from Metro and Olly's, but I had this tea that wasn't finished and I was just finishing it. Well, without a word being saying about it, the tourney concluded and I left. Well, come the next poker night, I'm approached by someone that works for the metro. He says that the camera has caught me sneaking VODKA into the bar. After my shock, I said that it was not Vodka. An Arizona Tea looks nothing like Vodka. He then said "Dude, the camera doesn't lie." I was just opening my mouth to say " I'm sorry., it wasn't vodka, but I will make sure not to bring anything else in here. No big deal. " I was cut off by him saying " Listen, if it happens again your ass is outta here for good." I was shocked. I was dumbfounded. I was pissed. I let him walk away at that point because I knew if I were to say something else, I would be unchristlike for one, and two, he would end up either at Wishard for medical attention or Larue Carter for psychiatric attention! In discussion with a fellow poker player, apparently he believes that the hostility is due to the Metro's history on people of color and a few bad apples who did bring in outside stuff on a continuous basis. Apparently (And understandably since those are the rules that you can not bring any outside food or drink in. I rule that I must admit being totally ignorant to )in the past a few African Americans did this a lot. But, Metro's response was not appropriate according to this fellow poker player. There were issues where Metro was put on notice to inspect the bags or patrons entering. But then, there was a great divide in who was inspected and who was not. This, of course, is all hearsay being that I was not playing poker during the time these issues came up. But I trust in the words of my fellow poker player who is very reputable and white which I believe cancels out a lot of bias in this situation. But, they get the Mark of Shame not because of their past transgressions, but just by the way the spoke to me.. a person who patrons them and advertise for them.
The Mark of Kiss my Ass must go to the Indianapolis Metro Police Department. Beating a dead horse? No. I don't care how it seems. The anger and mistrust for this police department is just! Not only from me for the little things they've done to me, but for their recent exploits. i will not try to type out all that has happened, but it boils down to this. Drunk on duty policeman kills biker. Policeman gets special treatment. Policeman gets a lot of charges dropped with them thinking that no one will sympathize with "a biker". SHIT HITS FAN! I've had the pleasure of knowing bikers. My dear friend, Brandine, makes mention of road safety when it comes to bikers. I, myself, have been at an accident scene when I watch a bikers life taken by a careless taxi driver. I first became acquainted with biker culture when a friend, Peggy, spoke of the charitable things that bikers do for her and the community. Shocked, because as some have experienced, I'd been told that these bikers were gangs, or were bad hell raisers, or were raciest. So I sought out more information, and I'm glad I did all those years ago. Biker culture isn't for me, but I learned of the many good things they do and learned how their image was so wrong from the actuality of who there were. And those beautiful bikes. So many different types and it's just beautiful, i tell ya. So, I take it to heart when this (forgive me dad, but I know of your thoughts on the Police force in Indianapolis when you were here as well.) pig thinks he can get away with KILLING a biker and putting to others in the hospital then having the mordacity to think that he can help cover it up because no one will have sympathy for a biker! Ick. Anger Boils! Anger Boils!
The Mark of Tommy goes out to Olly's Downtown. Even if that stuff at metro didn't happen, I was going to write a great review for them. Now, they just get an officially title. MOT winner!!!! But I enjoy Olly's so much. The wait staff are just exceptional. They work hard and are very attentive to their customers. AND THE FOOD. Tuesday, I had the best meal I've ever had while dining out anywhere. The selection is exceptional! The food is exceptional and the improvements being made are exception. and the piano player they have on Tuesday is exception and so friggen cute!!!!! Downtown Olly's, I'm so glad to have met you!
Okay, I'm 46 minutes overdue in posting this blog, so I'm going to do that now. Thank you for reading. Please feel free to leave a comment. I love you all and God bless.
(Here is the song I here when I see him!!!!!)
Burning Up by Kylie Minogue.
Down to the disco
Everything stops
Walking in solo
Everyone drops
Hey summer madness
Totally cool
My heart starts racing
When i see you
I'm burning up baby
I'm burning up
Can you feel it burning me
My pulse is pumping
My heart may burst
If you drink me up I'm
Gonna quench your thirst
You're not honest
No you're not that nice
But if i kiss you once I'm
Gonna kiss you twice
I'm burning up baby
I'm burning up
Can you feel it burning me
Current mood: animated
Well, hello all my friends, fans, and stalkers. Welcome to another all new post of the greatest blog ever invented by a queer. (Eat me Perez!)
LOL. Yes, I said it. Well, I don't think I'm as interesting as he is, but I think I can connect better.
Anyways, I just wanted to give you all a little update on the happenings in Queerdom, Indiana. Specifically, the reigning leader of the Gays; Me.
So, with all the troubling things that have happened in Indianapolis recently (Not only with me and the job loss, thelove lifedeath, and the pain of just getting by, but also with the officers killing people off, and the mayor and government of Indiana just sucking so bad with providing for it's citizens) I have been in contact with my ex who proposed something. He has a nice property down in Jacksonville, Florida and he will be out of town for few weeks, then in town for a few weeks so he really needs someone to house sit and help out with things. He proposed that I move down to Jacksonville for a year or so.
I'm considering it strongly. I guess I can lay out the pros and cons of each. If I go:
I will have a fresh start. Be able to meet new people and go new places.
I will not have any expenses. Alejandro will take care of all that.
I will be able to aid someone else, while aiding myself.
I will be away from such a polluted place. Polluted with this rising evil force I feel here.
I can avoid what I predict will be the harshest Winter here in Indianapolis.
But, if I decide to stay, the pros would be
I will be able to attend my church
I will have my family and friends that I am familiar with.
I will be able to aid my mother
I will be able to seek employment for the long hall.
I will be able to aid in the fight for love and good against any evil forces that are growing here (I know it sounds a bit goofy. I know not how to explain it better than evil forces. Waves of negativity. )
There's just so much to consider, and I have about a month or so to make up my mind. But something has changed here that I find interesting enough.
For months now, I've not really been in the mood for people. I've had so much on my plate. Job issues, health issues, friendship issues. Of course, the love life issues were there, but they were pushed into the back of my mind. But, then, I started hearing a song. For those who don't know, it's seems that when I find/meet someone who I take a particular interest in, I hear a song. For Alejandro it was Loving you by Minnie Ripperton (Stop singing it Ale!!!!) , Kenny was Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, Cory was Running Away by Hoobastank, Matt was At Last by Etta James, ect. ect. Well, there's a new song....... and a new guy. Well, he's not new. I've known him for some time now and I've always been interested, but never thought the same vice versa. But now, I see him and that damn Kylie Minogue song Burning up (I posted it below and on my facebook.). And it's intense. I love and hate this part. Because I'm hearing this song so strong right now and I'm always setting my self up for failure when I hear the song before I find out a lot more information.
I've never got this who attraction/dating thing. it's especially hard for the gays. I know, you're thinking "No way. You queers have it so easy. " But it's not. The major hurdle is the fact that in the bedroom, there are certain roles that some take. Not everyone is versatile. lol. Wow, that's just put out there, isn't it. But , okay, let me explain this as best as I can without being disturbing or graphic. When a man meets a woman, it's assumed (with 99.997% accuracy) that the "man" will be the penetrater and the "woman" will be the penetrated. Well, in the queer world, it's not that simple unless both people joining in the relationship are versatile with no problem being the penatrater or the penetrated. It's like puzzle pieces. Some fit together, but some don't. But when they all come together, it makes a beautiful picture.
Now, for all this discussion, I'm not saying that it's the most important aspect in a relationship. But, it's a nice bonus, isn't it. And if you have two people who are not compatible in that way, you may have a few issues. Just as with one of my ex.'s. He misrepresented himself by saying he was one thing while he wasn't because he just assumed I was the other and he wanted to keep me. Then, the issues that came from the lack of connection in the sexual way eventually lead to other issues. Then, you're out of a relationship. I do my best to be upfront with who I am, but the sexual things are way more complicated, yet they are there in my mind when I start hearing songs so to speak.
The other things are of course with self perception. It's interesting with me, in the fact that one moment I think I should be voted sexiest man alive in People Magazine, then the next day I think it best I put a bag over my head for society's sake. Those nagging self esteem issues are never going to just go away I've concluded at this point in my life. I've learn to deal with them better. But still, they are there and I can't help it.
So, those are just some pressing issues with the song being played. But, I must tell you, this guy....... HE'S YUMRIFIC. I mean, he's such a cutie and he's just the nicest guy ever. he has somewhat of an offbeat humor, which is perfect for my totally offbeat humor. He's always smiling, and just being a courteous and awesome person to everyone he comes in contact with .. (sigh) Perfection. lol. But those initial issues. With all I'm going threw right now, is it a good time to take up more issues? The rewards (being able to be with him more. mmmmm) are very much stacked high. But too high? I don't know. Gotta think. Gotta think...... (singing) I'm burning up Baby
Okay, attention! I'm supposed to be an adult apparently. lol. To drive that point home, a friend of mine came to me with some conversation that quickly took a terrible turn. She was speaking of a new boyfriend she had acquired. (That sounds so officially. Like she mail ordered him. lol ) My friend is not yet 18, so I'm still thinking she's a child. When, she tells me that she has.... thoughts. Shocked, I was like "No no no! You're still a baby! No no no!" How ridiculous. Then I started talking to her about what sex means and that she should wait (I would be okay with 40 years old) and that it will change everything and it's such a bad idea. But as I'm sitting here telling her this, I start thinking of my own life. When I was her age, I had already done..... um, things. I started doing things when I was 14. So, feeling life a big ol' hypocrite, I tried to not act like her father, and more like her friend. I mean, she's my friend because I respect her and I enjoy how intelligent and strong she is even at her young age. Why would I think that she wasn't thinking this thru. Who am I to sit and act like an adult....... Yeah, I am, but I think of when some adult would tell me all the stuff I was telling her . I was like "You don't know me, or my situation, so STFU" . So, basically, I just stopped talking at her, and just listened. I really hope she doesn't (Though it did not adversely affect me when I was her age) , but I know she will make her decision and she will be strong enough to make it no matter what she chooses.
Geez, when did I become the adult. lol. I guess it came when i decided to gain knowledge. Creepy!!!!!!
Well, now to the Justice segment. Well, okay, just a couple of things. First, something that involves me personally. I'm so sick of being mistreated, so I'm calling some people out. I will try not to make it about individual people, so I will just stick to companies until I run out of bad companies. Per blog, there will be a Mark of Shame given to a person or place, a mark or kiss my ass (The worst Mark you can get) given to a person or place, and a Mark of Tommy (MOT for short. ) given out to the best person or place.
I'll start with a bar. Mark of Shame this blog goes out to Metro Nightclub and Bar. I've went to Metro every Wednesday and Sunday for poker nights. They have free poker tourney's there on Wednesday and Sunday, and at Downtown Olly's on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You can win a cash prize if you are number 1 at the end of the tourney. So, I recently entered Metro after just purchasing an Arizona Tea from CVS. When you're unemployed and you see that the tea is on sale for 49 cents, you grab one with a smile. Well, i was drinking it on the way to Metro and as I entered into the poker area without a thought. I know, some of you are saying how can you be so ignorant to the rules, but I honestly did not know that this was a problem. I usually order things from Metro and Olly's, but I had this tea that wasn't finished and I was just finishing it. Well, without a word being saying about it, the tourney concluded and I left. Well, come the next poker night, I'm approached by someone that works for the metro. He says that the camera has caught me sneaking VODKA into the bar. After my shock, I said that it was not Vodka. An Arizona Tea looks nothing like Vodka. He then said "Dude, the camera doesn't lie." I was just opening my mouth to say " I'm sorry., it wasn't vodka, but I will make sure not to bring anything else in here. No big deal. " I was cut off by him saying " Listen, if it happens again your ass is outta here for good." I was shocked. I was dumbfounded. I was pissed. I let him walk away at that point because I knew if I were to say something else, I would be unchristlike for one, and two, he would end up either at Wishard for medical attention or Larue Carter for psychiatric attention! In discussion with a fellow poker player, apparently he believes that the hostility is due to the Metro's history on people of color and a few bad apples who did bring in outside stuff on a continuous basis. Apparently (And understandably since those are the rules that you can not bring any outside food or drink in. I rule that I must admit being totally ignorant to )in the past a few African Americans did this a lot. But, Metro's response was not appropriate according to this fellow poker player. There were issues where Metro was put on notice to inspect the bags or patrons entering. But then, there was a great divide in who was inspected and who was not. This, of course, is all hearsay being that I was not playing poker during the time these issues came up. But I trust in the words of my fellow poker player who is very reputable and white which I believe cancels out a lot of bias in this situation. But, they get the Mark of Shame not because of their past transgressions, but just by the way the spoke to me.. a person who patrons them and advertise for them.
The Mark of Kiss my Ass must go to the Indianapolis Metro Police Department. Beating a dead horse? No. I don't care how it seems. The anger and mistrust for this police department is just! Not only from me for the little things they've done to me, but for their recent exploits. i will not try to type out all that has happened, but it boils down to this. Drunk on duty policeman kills biker. Policeman gets special treatment. Policeman gets a lot of charges dropped with them thinking that no one will sympathize with "a biker". SHIT HITS FAN! I've had the pleasure of knowing bikers. My dear friend, Brandine, makes mention of road safety when it comes to bikers. I, myself, have been at an accident scene when I watch a bikers life taken by a careless taxi driver. I first became acquainted with biker culture when a friend, Peggy, spoke of the charitable things that bikers do for her and the community. Shocked, because as some have experienced, I'd been told that these bikers were gangs, or were bad hell raisers, or were raciest. So I sought out more information, and I'm glad I did all those years ago. Biker culture isn't for me, but I learned of the many good things they do and learned how their image was so wrong from the actuality of who there were. And those beautiful bikes. So many different types and it's just beautiful, i tell ya. So, I take it to heart when this (forgive me dad, but I know of your thoughts on the Police force in Indianapolis when you were here as well.) pig thinks he can get away with KILLING a biker and putting to others in the hospital then having the mordacity to think that he can help cover it up because no one will have sympathy for a biker! Ick. Anger Boils! Anger Boils!
The Mark of Tommy goes out to Olly's Downtown. Even if that stuff at metro didn't happen, I was going to write a great review for them. Now, they just get an officially title. MOT winner!!!! But I enjoy Olly's so much. The wait staff are just exceptional. They work hard and are very attentive to their customers. AND THE FOOD. Tuesday, I had the best meal I've ever had while dining out anywhere. The selection is exceptional! The food is exceptional and the improvements being made are exception. and the piano player they have on Tuesday is exception and so friggen cute!!!!! Downtown Olly's, I'm so glad to have met you!
Okay, I'm 46 minutes overdue in posting this blog, so I'm going to do that now. Thank you for reading. Please feel free to leave a comment. I love you all and God bless.
(Here is the song I here when I see him!!!!!)
Burning Up by Kylie Minogue.
Down to the disco
Everything stops
Walking in solo
Everyone drops
Hey summer madness
Totally cool
My heart starts racing
When i see you
I'm burning up baby
I'm burning up
Can you feel it burning me
My pulse is pumping
My heart may burst
If you drink me up I'm
Gonna quench your thirst
You're not honest
No you're not that nice
But if i kiss you once I'm
Gonna kiss you twice
I'm burning up baby
I'm burning up
Can you feel it burning me