Life's TRUE Journey

ToO Much time to think. Current mood: confused Category: Life I think too much. I get scared sometimes. I know. I hear so much about death and then I obsess on it for a whole day. This was one of those days. I'm lucky enough to have awesome friends and I thank the lord everyday for each and every one of them. But damn, they make me think too much. People come up to me because they say I'm smart, I'm philisophical. I'm Wise beyond my years or whatever. It's great, but if you know me you know I have a lot to say. But I tell ya, sometimes I get so bogged down with these questions that make me think. Religion/God: Beoing a gay christian buddhist has it's challenges, without saying. This is the most difficult issue to try to explain about myself. For a number of years, I had faith in nothing at all. I lost my father, I was dealing with being violated as a child and as a teen. I experienced so much pain that I broke. But what made me come back "...

Deep Down Drown. Current mood: nervous Category: Life Well look at this. So many people are angry with me right now for various reasons. Mainly surrounds the fact that I've not really been availible to a lot of them. And for this I must appoligies. I've been going thru those never ending changes again. But yet, as always, I revert back to my same habits. Like, my ex. For about a week now I've been staying up every night with him. Yeah, bad Tommy. I can't move on for some reason. He's so pathetic and he always suckers me in. He's trying to change. He wants to change. And I want to help him. Because for so long it was him and I against the world. And to tell you the truth, he's been the only person to be there for me thru it all. He's trying to stop drinking and it's so hard seeing him going thru it. I've been so exhausted from stupid stuff at me job and then coming home to an urgent voicemail from him every single night saying he n...